Having received a stern pep talk from Otto and
Honestly, there were still large parts of what had happened in that dream castle that he hadn't been able to process, but he'd have to chew through them one by one and convert them into fuel for the person he was now.
"First off, I can't get any more cooperation out of
The
He realized this keenly upon observing the other five witches—
Even Minerva, who held the healing of others as her creed, was no exception. The way she threw everything she had into mending others while losing her own limbs—it was less noble and more brutal that such ferocity stood out above all else.
And the final witch,
That unfathomable welling of emotion he'd felt from deep inside himself when facing Satella. His instinct told him that producing answers about those feelings was not merely beyond his current capacity—it was dangerous.
The words they'd exchanged at the very end. The last vision of Satella he'd seen—just recalling it was enough for Subaru's chest to feel as though it would be torn apart from within by agonizing emotion.
And so, Subaru deliberately steered his thoughts away from Satella and redirected them toward other problems—namely, the advice Echidna had given him at the last, and whether or not he should take Satella's words at face value.
"Value myself—that's easy enough to say…"
Through his confrontation with Satella, through the overlapping weight of the first and second Trials at the tomb, Subaru had learned the truth: the people he didn't want to die would likewise grieve his 'death.' He'd become painfully aware of his own honest desire—he didn't want to die.
But what did that change? The number of weapons at his disposal hadn't increased by even one.
The sheer volume of unresolved problems hadn't shrunk either. If anything, the number of people he could rely on to solve them had only decreased.
His heart had been patched up, somewhat, but everywhere else he hadn't made an inch of progress—if anything, he'd slid backward.
"Rely on the people who care about me… but how the hell am I supposed to do that?"
He supposed the meaning was: open up to them, and ask for help.
But the one forbidding him to do that was Satella herself—or no, if he followed the thread of that final conversation, it was the Witch of Envy's personality who had forbidden him from revealing 'Return by Death.' Was Satella not the same as that separate personality? What did that final appeal mean— "—That's exactly why I can't deal with that right now!"
His thoughts were drifting toward Satella again with terrifying ease, and he slammed on the brakes.
What he needed were concrete solutions to each of his problems, an assessment and a plan for each one.
"Garfiel… is afraid of the outside world, huh…"
That was the final piece of advice Echidna had given him—the information she'd provided because it was necessary to breaking through the current situation.
That Garfiel had once undergone the first Trial had practically been confessed by his own behavior. Echidna's words simply served to fill in the blanks.
The question was: what had he seen in that past that made him afraid of the world beyond?
The fact that Frederica had tried to leave the
But this wasn't the kind of thing you could just ask about head-on and expect an honest answer.
"That means I'll have to squeeze the information out of someone who seems to know… but Frederica and Ryuzu-san both seem like they'd clam up about something like this…"
If Frederica was to be believed, she hadn't been able to chase after Garfiel once he'd entered the tomb—and as a result, she had no knowledge of what the Trial actually involved. On the other hand, Ryuzu, who had plunged in after him and dragged him back out, could be assumed to have experience—one of her clones had undergone the Trial. There was a high chance she knew the contents of what Garfiel had seen.
"That means, as much as I don't want to do it… the surest bet is to get command authority through Ryuzu Meyer's crystal and force her to talk, huh…"
Even Ryuzu, the de facto leader of the clones and the one entrusted with representing the Sanctuary—she herself had stated that she ultimately could not disobey the one who held the dominion. There was coercive power there, the ability to compel action even against one's will.
Beyond just gaining access to twenty-odd allies, the value of this course of action extended far beyond mere information gathering. That was what he wanted to convince himself, at least.
"————"
What surfaced in Subaru's mind was the image of the Sanctuary engulfed in flames and swarms of white rabbits. The pathetic memory of how he'd desperately set Ryuzu's clones upon one another to protect himself while fleeing for his life.
He'd needed to rush to
He'd never once reflected on or regretted his actions from that time, but now, standing here with a clear head, the sheer recklessness of it was terrifying even to him.
Now that he'd become painfully aware of how much he cherished his own life—how he didn't want to die—the thought was even worse.
Had he not been even more arrogant, even more blunt, in throwing those women's lives away for his own sake? Even if he hadn't wanted to think that, he couldn't fully trust himself.
"My head's all tangled up… I've gone way too far down the negative spiral. Dammit. Trying to think about everything at once is blowing past my brain's processing capacity. One at a time. Start with whatever I can knock down first."
Problems where question and answer linked directly together—those were the ones to tackle first, piece by piece, then connect the resolved answers into a solution for the larger issue.
First, Subaru searched for a problem that seemed like it could end on an upward note.
"The liberation of the Sanctuary—this is something I should handle, since I've already cleared the first Trial. There's no need to put any more of a burden on Emilia. Actually, piling too much pressure on her would wreck her mental state, so that's out."
He recalled the image of Emilia from the snow-covered Sanctuary, pressing close to him with such tenderness in her eyes.
If she were forced to keep taking on the Trial, breaking her spirit like that—well, the outcome was obvious. Continuing to push her toward the Trial would lead nowhere good.
"If I'm the one who has to clear the Trial… the next thing on my mind is the second Trial. It was rough as hell, but… was I actually counted as having cleared it in the first place?"
The impossible now—the world as it would be if different choices had been made. The second Trial had let him experience what was essentially a parallel world.
The Trial that let a person quasi-experience multiple divergent timelines might have been nothing more than a spectator experience of parallel worlds for anyone other than Subaru. But for Subaru alone, the Trial had bared its true fangs.
It had shown him what lay ahead in all the countless worlds where he had made the wrong choice.
There were all manner of regrets, all manner of tragedies, all manner of grief mourning Subaru's 'death.' He had experienced them all—seen them, felt them on his skin, tasted them—and his heart had shattered to pieces.
Even now, the mere memory sent a chill through his entire body, and he couldn't avoid the sensation of his limbs going numb.
It was while he'd been curled up, swallowed by his mind's silent scream, that he'd been transported to that dream castle. But setting all that aside—what had actually become of the Trial?
He could not say, with any confidence, that he had cleared it.
But then again, he had no idea what he'd need to do to be counted as having cleared the second Trial, either. Unlike the first one, he didn't even have a guess.
"Worrying about it won't help… I just have to do what I can."
He shook his head and forced his indecisive heart upright, pressing it to move. He placed his hand against the tomb wall at his back and glared at the darkness of the entrance.
He was alone now. Otto and Patrasche—who had been watching him with such concern just moments ago—were no longer beside him.
Embarrassed by that final exchange, he'd sent Otto and Patrasche back to the stables. Patrasche's parting gaze, still full of worry for him, had been a comfort of sorts—but he needed time alone to sort through his thoughts.
"The main problems I need to deal with are the Sanctuary and the mansion. The Sanctuary means the Trial, Garfiel, and the
Not a single one of them had a solution in sight, and the weight of it was crushing. But there was no luxury in wallowing. He'd take them down one at a time, steadily and surely.
He would not be so detached about it as to think of his life as something disposable.
"First—the Trial. If the second Trial starts, great. If it's already been completed and the third Trial is about to begin, even better."
At the very least, if the barrier was dispelled, the situation would shift dramatically. Garfiel would have to reconsider his position too, and in the worst-case scenario, even if the Great Rabbit attacked, evacuation beyond the Sanctuary would become possible. Surely even Garfiel wouldn't keep up his stubbornness when faced with the threat of the Great Rabbit head-on.
The Sanctuary's problem could probably be solved by removing the barrier.
Thinking that far, Subaru felt a faint glimmer of light opening before him and felt a measure of relief.
He'd been tormented by an overwhelming tangle of problems, but it seemed as though—at the very least—a line of reasoning leading to answers was beginning to take shape.
"————"
Standing before the entrance to the tomb, Subaru held his breath as he stared down the stone corridor that stretched into the gloom beyond.
If he stepped inside and the Trial began, he might once again be confronted with 'the impossible now.' That sight was not something Subaru could ever grow accustomed to, no matter how many times he saw it.
But he knew he was not permitted to ignore it or forget it.
If he couldn't run from it, then he had no choice but to face it.
Subaru took a deep breath, then held it, and stepped forward.
He crossed the threshold of the tomb, intending to take on the Trial that would liberate the Sanctuary—when— "————!?"
The instant he set foot inside, a sensation like a blow to the skull slammed through him.
A pain as though a needle had been driven straight into his brain, a scatter of light across his vision—then his legs buckled beneath him. His upper body swayed, and unable to so much as remain standing, Subaru collapsed to the ground.
A violent wave of nausea surged up from his gut, stomach acid spilling as though his stomach were being wrung out. He coughed and retched, but no matter how many times he did, his body refused to feel any better.
Alarms. Alarms. Alarms blared through his head.
He rolled across the ground, gasping for air as the cascade of maladies and discordant signals ravaged his body, tumbling back outside the tomb. His instincts told him clearly: if he stepped inside—if he went deeper—the malice gnawing at his body would unleash an even greater assault.
"Ugh—hagh—I'm—nngh—"
Subaru tumbled out of the tomb and doubled over on the grass, vomiting repeatedly.
The moment his body was fully clear of the tomb, the agony that had been tormenting him began to recede. The headache, the nausea, the tingling in his limbs—all of it faded, and Subaru, eyes wet with tears, raised his head.
"Wha—just… what was that…?"
He looked at the entrance of the tomb and reached a hand toward it, intending to crawl back—but from somewhere deep inside, a primal rejection surged up.
This was on a different level from fearing the content of the Trial, or the trauma it might dredge up. He could tell clearly—the tomb was rejecting him.
"What—why—"
Even as he grasped that he was being rejected, Subaru quickly realized what had happened to him.
Patrasche had been injured when she'd ventured inside to pull him out. Roswaal had likewise been gravely wounded when he'd entered the tomb to challenge the Trial. The tomb rejected those who lacked the qualification to face the Trial. And if that same effect had been exerted on Subaru— "There's no way… but if that's true, then…"
He staggered to his feet and, unsteady as he was, attempted once more to enter the tomb.
But the moment he took a single step inside, the headache and nausea crashed back, and the overwhelming wave of malaise crushed him to the point where he couldn't even remain standing.
"Hah… hah, hah…"
He retreated from the tomb's entrance, bent over and gasping, and was forced to accept the truth he'd learned from that challenge.
"That vindictive… witch…"
What surfaced in his mind was the white-haired witch dressed in mourning.
At their parting, she had posed him a clear question: choose whether to take his hand or Satella's hand.
And Subaru had chosen to take Satella's hand instead of Echidna's.
If this was retribution for that act—then it was just too— "The light I'd finally glimpsed…!"
He'd believed she'd given him a hint out of nothing but goodwill, and he'd even thought he should reconsider his impression of her—just a little.
*'Well, you're not wrong, you know?'* He heard the witch's teasing voice—the one that had no business being audible—and Subaru looked up at the night sky.
"Revoking my qualifications—? Nobody said anything about that, Echidna!!"
—