Only after noticing oxygen flowing through his throat did Subaru violently cough up the clots of blood remaining in his airway.
Still flat on his back on the ground, he gasped and panted between ragged breaths, desperately seeking air—seeking sustenance for life.
There was no room in his heart for the luxury of thinking himself pathetic.
His weakness—the fact that, despite having bitten off his own tongue in a desperate wish for death, he now clung without hesitation to the path of salvation flickering before his eyes—struck him as utterly wretched.
But still— "Do I… have—"
"Hmm?"
"Do I have any value… to live? Is there any value in me—someone who can't die—in anything other than dying and repeating…?"
He had believed that his worth as
But couldn't he believe that perhaps it wasn't only that?
"Can I believe that there's something of value in me—as a human—beyond Return by Death? Can I believe… that the people I love think of me as someone they love?"
"…I wouldn't know anything about that."
To Subaru's feeble question,
She opened and closed the fist of her now bare right arm, then struck both hips—the stumps where her legs below the thighs had been missing—punching them with both hands until her legs too regenerated in the same manner.
Her already-short skirt became even more revealing, and with her right arm exposed all the way to the shoulder, the look was daring to the extreme—but the
Standing firmly on her restored legs, she crossed her arms in a pose that accentuated her ample chest, then looked down at Subaru. And then: "I don't know anything about your value. But she's wishing for someone like you to keep living… and you saw it yourself during those two Trials, didn't you?"
"But the second Trial—that was about the mistakes I made, the sins I committed…"
"Are you an idiot? That wasn't about making you pay for the world you ruined. It showed you how much pain your mistakes caused, and to how many people. —Isn't that exactly the answer you'd been looking for?"
"——Ah…"
He remembered.
The sound of crying. The voice biting back anguish. The strong voice sending someone off. That usual, gentle send-off.
The whispered words of love that believed in him—the words that had become the driving force behind Subaru's will to fight.
A life that should have possessed nothing.
He had believed he was brought into this world carrying nothing, having lost even what he once had.
To prove his worth, he could only keep resisting. And to protect the precious things he'd gained along the way, he could only keep walking alone through loneliness.
He had convinced himself he only received—never gave. But couldn't he believe that wasn't true?
Would they cry for me?
Would they lament how powerless I am?
Would they wish to see the future alongside me?
Would they grant me the right to stand, smiling, beside the people precious to me?
A right whose existence he wasn't sure of.
But surely, it was something that—after walking the road Subaru had stubbornly insisted on walking alone until just moments ago—would no longer be permitted to him.
After hardening his heart to steel and fighting through with mental fortitude shaken by nothing, surely even the softness needed to smile would have been stripped away.
Then could he believe— That it was okay to choose a greedy option?
That there could exist a choice where he didn't have to lose his heart in exchange for the future of his precious people?
That there could exist a choice where, without having to sacrifice his own heart, he could still see the future with his loved ones—as Natsuki Subaru?
"I forgive you."
"————"
Subbaru hadn't spoken. He had only been spilling tears. Yet it was as though those feelings had been conveyed as sound, the timing clicking perfectly into place.
Still lying on the ground, turning his head, Subaru could see beyond Minerva—a figure kneeling in the grass, tears wetting her face, not even bothering to wipe them away, smiling.
He still couldn't see that face.
A veil of darkness still blocked it, and the expression directed at him remained hidden. But the fact that she was smiling came through nonetheless.
"I was saved by you. And so, I will allow you to be saved. I wish for you to be saved—that is my wish."
He felt the words of
After having made such grand, theatrical complaints, how could he now feel relief at Satella's words? How could he possibly show an expression softened by them?
And yet, it was Satella's unfathomable words of "love" that had truly helped Subaru understand the real meaning of the Trial.
"I suppose it's surprising that Minerva broke through
Murmuring this softly to himself, paying no mind to Subaru still covering his face, was Echidna.
Glancing at Minerva, who had restored both arms and legs, Echidna then shifted her gaze to a different direction—where Typhon was being pinned down by the claw-like limbs extending from a black-lacquered coffin, facing off against
At Echidna's words, it was Daphne who laughed with a low rumble in her throat. She had torn the bottom of her straitjacket, stepping barefoot onto the grass, and stuck out her tongue: "The one with the best compatibility against Tutu is definitely Daphne, you know. The Hundred-Legged Coffin has no brain to speak of—it's just Daphne's arms and legs, so it's the worst possible match for Tutu's authority."
"Mmm, Daphne's no help! Mmm! Mmm!"
"And, as for me—you're the one keeping the real you in check, I suppose? Hmph. Not that I'd do it for Echidna's sake, but why would you go and do something like that? Unlike Minerva, I can't see any reason for you to take his side, hmph."
Sekhmet ruthlessly raked her fingers through the overwhelming mass of her hair. With Typhon essentially held hostage, it seemed she too couldn't afford to act rashly.
Receiving Sekhhet's question, Daphne shook her short, tied-back hair and smiled: "No, you see—"
"Subaru, he went and made big boasts to Daphne. Something about having killed the
"That's an interesting opinion. If he sets his mind to it, it could certainly be accomplished. You should understand that as well… but would you want the Great Rabbit to be destroyed?"
"Not particularly? Once they were separated from Daphne, those children's hunger became completely independent of Daphne's own. I don't care where they get wiped out… but if anything, Daphne might be interested in how the Great Rabbit—this embodiment of Daphne's never-ending hunger—ends up dying."
And, Daphne continued: "If the end is one of fulfillment, then that would be an unknown blessing for Daphne as well."
For Daphne, who was perpetually tormented by endless hunger, fulfillment was a dream she could never reach. And the Great Rabbit was a mirror of her own unending hunger—another version of herself. Though, in truth, Daphne felt no such kinship with them.
If that Great Rabbit met an end different from her own, and that end was one of fulfillment—then perhaps she herself could have been fulfilled. The thought amused her; she, of all people, was developing an interest beyond mere appetite.
Echidna nodded with satisfaction at Daphne's answer, then turned her head once more. Her gaze fell not on Subaru, nor on Satella or Minerva. Not toward Daphne and Sekhmet, who had clashed in fierce battle, nor toward Typhon. Instead, she looked toward a figure who, like Echidna herself, stood isolated from the group.
Looking at
"What… are you… trying to say, Echidna…?"
"It's simple. Just before his consciousness faded at the threshold of death, he called out. And you—you who possess the authority of the 'Formless Goddess'—if you had answered that call, you already knew what would happen."
"————"
"Your call would have held every possible meaning for him. And you understood that perfectly. So I ask: you shouldn't have found him appealing at all. So why did you do it?"
At Echidna's question, Carmilla placed a hand against her lips, her gaze drifting. It was the look of someone hoping for another person to step in on her behalf—the same expression she'd shown toward Daphne and Minerva.
But Carmilla, who was loved by all, had no witch here who could be seduced by her.
Carmilla bit her finger as if resigned, her eyes glistening as she looked at Echidna: "There's… no reason… ? Echidna-chan… rejected his invitation… so I was satisfied enough… and as long as everyone else doesn't fight over whatever they're angry about and it doesn't… splatter onto me… that's fine."
"That's it?"
"Love… is important, you know? If you treat it carelessly, that's… bad. Even if he didn't want to see it… love is still there. Something that exists… can't be denied. And besides… I absolutely refuse to stay in someone's debt."
Only in that last part was Carmilla unusually clear and forceful. Echidna shrugged.
Then the Witch of Greed smiled wryly, glancing at each of the witches: "Sekhmet and Typhon chose to respect his will. Minerva, who values life, healed him. Daphne cooperated in prolonging his life so she could witness his resolve to keep fighting. And Carmilla used her authority to show him the love he'd been turning away from. —Well now, each for different reasons, they all tried to help Natsuki Subaru."
At Echidna's summary of their actions, the witches' expressions shifted.
Pride tilted her head. Sloth sighed languidly. Wrath sniffed and crossed her arms. Gluttony bit off one of the legs extending from her coffin and grinned. Lust scowled in distaste.
And Greed, having watched it all, placed a hand on her chin: "After all, it's fascinating. —Don't you agree?"
A gentle smile spread across Echidna's face—happy, even.
The pointed tip of her words was aimed straight ahead—toward Subaru, who was swaying as he struggled to his feet.
Still wiping away the traces of unextinguished tears with his sleeve, Subaru managed to stand on both feet. He didn't answer Echidna's question.
He merely looked at her with listless eyes, scanning the faces of all the witches. And then: "What… what are you people, really?"
"————"
"Curiosity. Sympathy. Compassion. A sense of duty. Expectation. Disgust. …I can barely accept any of the reasons you'd take my side. Even being called 'witches'—I get that much."
"So you've recovered enough energy to complain, then?"
"…I don't know."
At Echidna's half-closed eye, Subaru placed a hand against his chest and murmured softly.
The words that escaped him distilled, in stark terms, the entirety of what Subaru was feeling.
"I'd already decided what I needed to do. And that hasn't changed. That much is certain. It's certain."
But, he continued, as if speaking to himself rather than anyone else: "I'd also decided that there was only one way to do it—and I had prepared myself to make that choice. And yet, coming to this place, my resolve was shattered by the Trial."
The second Trial—the impossible present. It had confronted Subaru with the consequences of his own actions, tearing apart the heart he'd been papering over with words like "resolve." And even after being shown all of that, Subaru had still tried to demand acceptance of himself, tried to hold fast to his resolve. In fact, that was what he'd been planning to do.
"But then I learned your true intentions—intentions I might have been able to borrow help from—and then Satella appeared on top of that… my head is a mess. All of you, stop spouting whatever you please. I was the one who placed that duty on myself. And yet…"
How dare he now cling to a life he'd written off as expendable.
How dare he now learn to grieve over a life he'd been prepared to use up.
How dare he now be made to realize he had been loved—what was he supposed to do with that?
"I… don't know what to do anymore."
His rational mind screamed: if he didn't die, he couldn't protect everyone.
But his memories told him: there were people who grieved over the fact that he was destroying himself.
If he didn't die, someone would be sad. If he did die, someone would also be sad.
"—Let me ask you once more, Natsuki Subaru."
As Subaru shook his unsteady head, Echidna's voice dropped in register.
He raised his face to find Echidna had come to stand directly before him, one finger raised.
When she saw that his gaze had found her, she nodded slowly: "If I cooperate with you, you will definitely reach a future where you save the people you want to save. You'll no longer need to torment yourself. To put it in extreme terms, I will handle the resolution of every problem you face. You simply throw yourself into executing it and focus on overcoming each wall. If the pain of endless worry is too much, then entrusting everything to me is one option. I won't condemn you for it—in fact, in a sense, I'd welcome it. So, once more, I ask you:"
"————"
"Will you let me take your hand—the hand of someone who no longer knows what to do? I swear to you, I will definitely lead you to the future."
Speaking so gently, Echidna extended her hand to Subaru.
Looking down at those white fingertips, at the face of Echidna awaiting his answer, Subaru held his breath.
It was the same way of speaking as when he'd refused her before.
Back then, Subaru had learned of Echidna's true nature and been terrified of the nerves that drove her—that bottomless curiosity of hers.
But what about now? After setting aside some time and calmly reflecting on her words, what did he think?
She would treat his life as expendable, try every conceivable approach, and use brute force to bulldoze through every obstacle in the path. Subaru, guided by Echidna's counsel, grinding his heart down as he continued to fight—how was that different from the Subaru who, even after rejecting her cooperation, had resolved to fight alone?
He'd been stubborn, unable to stomach Echidna's attitude, and rejected her.
But if he truly had the resolve to throw everything away and sacrifice himself, then he should have shut his very eyes to Echidna's nature and used her exactly as she said.
If, having rejected even that with his own fastidious pride, the path ahead was the same either way—then what meaning did Subaru's refusal carry?
He should take that hand.
If he had the resolve to continue fighting without fearing pain, swallowing every hardship and suffering—then he should take that hand.
And so— "Echidna."
"————"
"I'm scared of getting hurt."
"————"
"I don't want to suffer. I don't want to be in pain. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want to watch anyone else suffer. —I don't want to die."
"————"
"So I can't—take your hand anymore. Not one that assumes my death as a given."
What could Subaru actually do? Even he didn't fully know yet.
But it seemed he could no longer choose the same path Echidna had laid out.
He had recognized that he didn't want to die.
He had learned that there were people who affirmed him even without his death—the people he had believed could only be saved through his dying.
Natsuki Subaru was not a man whose only worth lay in dying.
The people who had grieved over his death had not cherished him because they found value in his death. They had cherished him—and his death was merely what they mourned.
Then what, exactly, had they been grieving for?
"I still don't know what that is. —But I want to find out. If I can understand it, I think I'll be able to give something back to everyone—through means other than death."
"…But that's a thorny road, Natsuki Subaru. The path of using death as a tool to carve the way forward, wearing yourself down as you go—it's crude, certainly, but it's also the shortest route that's guaranteed to reach the future. All you had to offer was your heart. To deny that, and try to have both your own heart and the future of the people you care about—that's far too difficult, and above all—"
Echidna paused.
Then, with the most radiant smile she had worn yet: "—It's greedy."
The Witch of Greed, who affirmed desire, received Subaru's decision with a pleased expression.
Even after her proposal was refused, she still smiled happily. Subaru couldn't fathom what she was thinking. But still: "One thing that's true: I was nearly saved by you, time and again. …Even if, at the bottom of your heart, you saw me as nothing more than a lab animal—that much is true."
There had certainly been times when Echidna's existence served as a pillar supporting his heart, allowing him to push through hardship.
And so, he felt genuine gratitude—for the time she'd given him, for the small reprieve she'd granted his heart.
"That wretched and pathetic Garfiel—he's afraid of the outside world."
"…What?"
"What he saw in the first Trial has kept him bound ever since. If you're going to break through the situation on your own, you'll need to break those chains as well."
"Echidna?"
"Even though all the other witches have acted favorably toward you, it would be quite the thing if I alone offered nothing. I'd rather you not go away thinking, 'The witches were all decent at heart, but Echidna was the only bad one to the very end.' I am, after all, a girl—and it is a fact that I'm favorably disposed toward you."
Speaking rapidly, Echidna gave Subaru a light push on the chest.
The force of it made him stumble back, and when he raised his face, Echidna had already turned away. Shaking her white hair, the Witch of Greed distanced herself from Subaru.
The other witches, too, watched him in silence.
"…As far as I'm concerned, you're all incomprehensible."
"————"
"I'm so confused it feels like my head's going to explode. I'm still furious about what you said. I've been thinking this whole time that you're having conversations about things I know nothing of, right over my head—and I can never bring myself to like any of you."
The plain truth.
Each of the witches held unwavering values of their own, and they were simply irreconcilable with Subaru's—or rather, with any ordinary person's.
So Subaru couldn't understand them, and couldn't accept their actions.
But—as with what he'd thought about Echidna—being unable to understand and feeling gratitude were separate things.
"Thank you for trying to let me die. Thank you for not letting me die. Thank you for letting me hear voices that mattered to me. —For that, thank you."
He bowed his head to each of the witches in turn, savoring the sight of them catching their breath.
Then Subaru turned and began walking.
Ahead of him, still kneeling in the grass, was a girl—Satella.
She looked up at Subaru as he approached, and her breath caught as though choking.
Seeing her frightened appearance—so much like a small girl, so utterly vulnerable—Subaru lost his voice.
Why did his chest fill with warmth toward someone he had found abhorrent?
What was this feeling he kept holding toward someone he had never even touched?
This place had given him far too many questions without answers.
And, unable to provide a single answer to any of them, Subaru chose to "keep worrying"—and extended his hand toward the seated witch.
She looked at his outstretched hand as though bewildered.
"I… don't know what you are. I don't know why you say you love me, or what it means when you say I saved you. I don't understand any of it."
"Ah…"
"But it's a fact that the Return by Death you gave me has helped me get this far. It's a fact that I've been leaning on it entirely, and somehow managed to survive until now."
"————"
"For me, Return by Death… is just one option? Is that what you're saying?"
"————"
"That choosing not to lean on it anymore—that's what it means to love myself? Is that what you're saying?"
"————"
"I can't just accept that so easily. —But it's also undeniable that you, who gave me Return by Death, made me not want to die."
And therefore: "I'll try—to like myself a little more. To treasure myself a little more. I have no idea what that'll lead to, but that's okay."
"…Are you sure?"
"Yeah… Compared to dying, it's nothing."
Responding to Satella's worried voice, Subaru managed to form a weak smile.
Seeing his expression, Satella took his hand, relief evident on her face.
In that instant, the sound of the world cracking tore through Subaru's eardrums.
The blue sky and green meadow faded, and the castle of dreams released Natsuki Subaru.
"…Am I going back?"
What he had been doing, how he had gotten here—it was all hazy. Upon returning to the outside, what should he do first? The questions of the heart made even that vague.
"Don't struggle alone. With the people who cherish you, together…"
"————"
"With the people who don't want you to die, and the people you don't want to let die—fight together. …And when that still isn't enough, don't forget that dying out of fear of death is still an option."
"————"
"Don't forget that there are people who would grieve over your death—"
The world shattered with a sound.
Satella's voice grew distant. It scraped at his heart, painfully.
The palms pressed together burned fiercely.
He felt he must not let go of this hand.
"I—"
The words wouldn't come.
He couldn't call out to her. To Satella. The desire to reject her warred with the desire to accept her, and neither would let him speak her name.
The sky fell. The earth split. Light poured in, and the space around them no longer formed the castle of dreams.
The witches vanished, leaving only Subaru and Satella in the world.
It disappeared. And it began.
—Subbaru gazed at Satella before him, unable to form any words.
"————"
Suddenly, the veil of darkness dropped.
The pitch black his unconscious had insisted he didn't want to see was swept away.
And seeing the face that emerged from beneath it, Subaru drew a sharp breath.
As Subaru held his breath, Satella shook her silver hair, narrowed her purple eyes, and tears spilled from their edges as—: "And someday—please, come and kill me."
Vanished.
Lost.
The world was wiped away, and even the figure of the girl before his eyes ceased to exist.
"I will definitely—"
Gripping nothing but the lingering warmth of her palm, Subaru: "—Save you."
Facing the beloved girl who was disappearing from sight, those were the only words he managed to speak in full.