Lunch concluded without incident.
The chambermaids headed for the underground prison.
Ten prisoners were locked inside. They hung their heads with gaunt complexions, but the moment Daisy entered the prison, they all screamed in unison.
"Aaaah! It's the mad maid! The mad maid is here again!"
"Oh, Goddess! Please, let us survive today..."
The prisoners scrambled to the corners of their cells, trembling. In their eyes, the fourteen-year-old maid appeared as a grim reaper. Despite the sudden chaos, Daisy calmly explained.
"Father is generally lenient toward adventurers. However, he is merciless toward soldiers disguised as adventurers. These men all belong to squads from the Habsburg Republic."
"Ah, I see."
Ivar raised the food basket held in both her hands.
"But, senior, we only brought enough food for three people."
"That's fine. I brought exactly the right amount."
Daisy smiled like an angel.
"Because it'll soon be reduced to three."
"..."
"Miss Ivar, today I'd like you to observe my work from behind."
By now, Daisy had already retrieved a skewer from the shelf.
Clotted blood clung limply to the tip of the skewer. Ivar was certain. This so-called senior had deliberately fed them lunch before bringing them to the torture chamber.
'She's trying to make me vomit by showing me something cruel.'
At such an obvious and childish ploy, Ivar sneered.
No race was as accustomed to blood and torture as vampires. The fourteen-year-old girl was remarkably clever and cunning for her age, but no matter how shrewd she was, she couldn't overcome the barrier between their species.
"I'll begin."
Daisy selected one cell and opened the iron bars.
And then—
"AAAAAAH!"
"P-please! Spare me! I'll tell you anything you want!"
"I swear... I don't know what orders came down from above..."
"Mother... hkkh... Mother..."
Two hours later.
The dark prison floor was completely covered in blood and viscera. Only after precisely seven prisoners had been killed did Daisy stop the torture.
Ivar, who had watched the entire scene from beginning to end, had frozen solid as stone. All the color had drained from her face—it had turned as white as a sheet of paper.
"Quite fascinating, isn't it? When you nail something into a human's head, they twitch like fish."
Daisy wiped the blood spatter from her cheek. Despite two solid hours of torture, she didn't look the least bit tired.
"Even though they're clearly dead, they keep twitching. And if you observe the organs carefully, you'll quickly notice that each one has a different color. The mysteries of the human body."
"...That's really... fascinating."
"Yes. Miss Ivar. Now please deliver meals to the remaining three."
Daisy held up the blood-stained torture implements in both hands and beamed.
"Well? Didn't I bring exactly the right amount?"
"..."
That day, Ivar couldn't bring herself to eat dinner.
But the first day was still the best of it.
This devilish little girl actually left the torture to her starting the second day. "You observed plenty yesterday, so you'll be fine," she said as she handed over the torture implements. When Ivar replied that she wasn't confident at all, Daisy told her not to worry.
"It doesn't matter if you can't do it. No—it's even better if you can't."
"May I ask why, senior?"
"Because it's torture. Right. Try it lightly, like you're just practicing."
The answer came without a shred of hesitation.
Ivar made a grimace.
"Practicing?"
"Yes. Practicing. It doesn't matter if they die."
Watching the two chambermaids' conversation from point-blank range, the prisoner twisted and thrashed in desperation.
"Mmph!? Mmph! Hnnnggh! Mmph!"
Ivar felt sorry for this innocent human. Of course, the man had committed some crimes. But short of high treason, what human could have committed crimes severe enough to deserve being caught by this little girl?
Regrettably, she couldn't back down. If she let herself be pushed aside by a mere human girl, the honor of the vampire race would weep. Ivar did her best to split open the prisoner's belly and cut through the organs.
"Cut the lungs decisively. It's fine—we have potions to spare. Hmm. Not bad, but you're lacking a bit of boldness. Let me demonstrate."
"Hnnph, hnnngh!?"
"On the other hand, when handling the heart, use the smallest knife."
And so the second day passed...
As time went on, Ivar realized more and more that the first day had actually been the least terrible. The girl's bizarre traits were far more numerous than just one or two. Like an onion that keeps revealing layer after layer, this girl was much the same.
Eccentricity Number One.
The girl would occasionally stop mid-stride while walking down the corridor. When that happened, her shoulders would begin to tremble slightly, and her face would flush red.
"Senior. What's wrong? Are you feeling ill?"
Hiding her true wish that the girl would actually be sick, Ivar adopted a concerned tone.
Daisy's cheeks were flushed, but her expression hadn't changed at all as she replied.
"It's nothing. My brother is just masturbating."
"...Excuse me?"
"I told you before that I have a slime attached to my lower abdomen. That's what's happening. This slime shares sensations with another slime, and that other slime happens to belong to my biological brother."
And my brother is a teenage boy who masturbates with his slime practically every day, Daisy added.
"Don't worry. My brother's masturbation sessions average four minutes and thirty seconds. Just three more minutes to go. Please wait a moment."
"..."
After exactly three minutes or so, Daisy resumed walking.
"Today only took four minutes and eleven seconds. I do hope he stays this way and becomes premature."
"..."
"Now then, Miss Ivar. Shall we clean the corridor?"
These episodes happened at least once a day, and sometimes up to three. Even Ivar thought it was too frequent, and she had once voiced her complaint. To which Daisy had simply replied, "My brother recently broke up with his girlfriend. It can't be helped."
Ivar had to revise her assessment.
The girl wasn't simply crazy. She was a perverted lunatic, a megalomaniac, and a certifiable psychopath. Every time Ivar watched Daisy suddenly close her eyes and stand still for four minutes in the middle of cleaning or torturing, she felt like she was going to lose her mind.
Eccentricity Number Two.
Daisy subtly molested Ivar. Literally molested her.
While Ivar was sweeping the corridor with a broom, Daisy would casually sidle up and brush against her. At first, Ivar simply thought they needed to be more careful.
But when it escalated beyond body bumps to Daisy's hand grazing her thigh or brushing against her hip, Ivar gradually realized the severity of the situation. This greenhorn brat wasn't satisfied with torturing her mentally—now she was harassing her physically!
"Senior Daisy."
Ivar warned in a quiet but firm tone.
"I'm prepared to accept and learn anything related to the job. Even if the tasks are unreasonable, I don't mind as long as they serve Lord Dantalion. However, if you intend to keep harassing me outside of work-related matters, I will report you to someone else."
"I'm sorry."
Did the warning finally work?
The girl, who seemed to have no blood, tears, or brains, had finally apologized. Ivar felt relieved. Fortunately, some shred of reason still existed somewhere inside that skull. Or so she thought.
What came next left Ivar's mind going blank once again.
"Miss Ivar is so attractive that my hands moved on their own."
"...What?"
A brief silence fell. Ivar swallowed hard. Without realizing it, her voice was trembling.
"S-senior. I'm... a woman, you know?"
"I'm well aware. I have eyes, too."
Daisy said.
"For the record, I'm a lesbian."
From that day on, the amount of time Ivar spent conversing with Daisy dropped to virtually zero.
In summary, this girl named Daisy was crazy about blood-soaked torture, carried a slime inside her lower abdomen year-round and all day long, believed that the reason the slime squirmed was because her own brother was masturbating—and for some inexplicable reason, she was also a lesbian.
Ivar had lived for over three thousand years, but she had never seen or heard of a lunatic like this.
And so, one month after becoming a chambermaid—
"Your Excellency the Chancellor. I'm sorry, but I can't take it anymore!"
Ivar went to the Chancellor's office. Perhaps she should already be praised for her superhuman endurance in lasting a whole month. Any ordinary hero would have raised the white flag by the second day.
"The Head Maid is insane! Please don't dismiss this as a simple complaint about a superior! I can rattle off forty-seven of the Head Maid's perverted antics right now! At this very moment!"
"Ms. Ivar."
Lapis looked at Ivar with an expressionless face.
"I'm sorry, but the organizational order is at stake. If I were to transfer you somewhere else now, the Head Maid's authority itself would be undermined."
"But, Your Excellency the Chancellor...!"
Ivar cried out desperately, on the verge of tears.
"The Head Maid touched my thigh five times just today! I cannot accept this treatment!"
"She only touched your thigh, didn't she?"
Lapis tilted her head.
"Lord Dantalion's hobby is to catch Military Secretary Laura while she's out for a walk in the dungeon and have intercourse with her for five hours. Compared to His Lordship, the Head Maid is perfectly wholesome."
"..."
What in the world was the Demon Lord's Castle even like? Ivar's head was spinning.
"B-but Lord Dantalion is the sovereign of the Demon Lord's Castle. He's an exception. He can't be compared to the Head Maid."
"The Head Maid is also His Lordship's adopted daughter in a personal capacity. She served His Lordship during the last campaign and earned two major merits. Some degree of privilege is perfectly acceptable."
"Ugh..."
This stubborn half-succubus!
Ivar was furious. From an organizational standpoint, Lapis's argument was undoubtedly correct. But Ivar was the chairman who led the organization, not some expendable pawn who sacrificed herself for it.
She had no choice. She resorted to an extraordinary measure.
"First-Class Secretary, Lapis Lazuli. It is I. Your employer, Ivar Lodbrok."
"...?"
Lapis looked at Ivar with a suspicious gaze.
"I haven't received any report about Miss Ivar being a pathological liar."
"It's only natural you'd find that hard to believe. But it's true. The Ivar Lodbrok you've been dealing with until now was a puppet I was controlling."
Naturally, Lapis didn't lend an ear.
Through desperate persuasion, Ivar finally managed to obtain an "opportunity to prove herself." Using a Teleport Scroll, Ivar traveled with Lapis to the Kunkuska Trading Company's headquarters and demonstrated her puppet manipulation skills in a private room.
Lapis raised her eyebrows slightly in surprise.
"So you truly are Lodbrok."
"You believe me, Lapis Lazuli?"
"Yes. Chairman."
Ivar was swept up in emotion.
Finally, she was going to be free from that crazy, perverted human girl.
"Then grant me this one favor. I swear to the Goddess, that Head Maid is no ordinary lunatic. I want to escape from under her thumb as soon as possible."
"Please wait a moment."
Lapis rummaged through her coat and produced a single sheet of paper. She presented it to Ivar respectfully. Ivar's eyebrows twitched.
"What is this?"
"A letter of resignation."
What?
"I've long intended to formally enter Lord Dantalion's service. But the opportunity to submit my resignation to the Chairman never seemed to come up. This turned out to be perfect timing. Thank you for everything."
"..."
Ivar was so utterly shocked that despite her years, she blurted out a response like a young girl.
"Th-then where will I be working?"
"As before—the Head Maid's assistant."
Lapis declared it like the King of Hell reciting a sentence from the underworld.
She bowed deeply.
"I look forward to working with you. Miss Ivar Lodbrok."
"..."
Ivar cursed the world.