I'm worried about Fitz-senpai.
As always, we only see each other once every ten days or so, and it's not like we have any particular conversations. But I can't help thinking about him. His casual gestures bother me — the way he scratches behind his ear, the big stretch he does after finishing a task, the scent that drifts past when he happens to walk by. Oh, and his smile. That bashful smile of his just lingers in my head no matter what.
It's the same on days I don't see him. When I'm in a crowd, I sometimes catch myself looking for Fitz-senpai without realizing it. In truth, he's often in the company of people. Princess Ariel and her entourage are well-known at the school. They're often seen clustered together in groups of several, whether for student council activities or otherwise.
Among those people, Fitz-senpai stands out. He's called "Silent Fitz" — he rarely opens his mouth to speak. As the princess's bodyguard, he ranks among the top in magical ability at the University. It's only natural he'd be respected. And I've been following him with my eyes ever since.
I know what this symptom is. It's called falling in love.
I've fallen for a guy. Wait — is he really even a guy? That's the question.
This is a proposition. Is Fitz-senpai male or female? Depending on the answer, I'll either be a homo or a straight guy.
To be honest, with no sign of this condition curing itself, I guess it doesn't really matter. But if I had a preference, I'd want him to be a woman.
--- So, I set out on an intelligence-gathering mission. Asking him directly would be the quickest way. But that was the last resort. He might be extremely self-conscious about his feminine face, after all.
First, I headed to the staff room.
There'd be a registry in the faculty building. It'd have the truth written in black and white. Even if they told me they couldn't hand over students' personal information, maybe they'd at least tell me the gender. With that thought, I made my way to the faculty building.
Among the large number of teachers, I searched out a fourth-grade instructor — someone in charge of Fitz-senpai's class — and asked.
"I'd like to ask you a few questions about Fitz-senpai's gender, if I may." "I'm not permitted to tell you about him." "Surely something can be done?"
The teacher was visibly trembling. Apparently he was scared of me. I knew the students had been giving me a wide berth lately, but I never expected it to extend to the teachers too. Well, never mind — this was working in my favor.
"If nothing can be done, I might have no choice but to do something terrible to your rear with my thick, sturdy stone cannonball." "Hh—! That's… no, I…" "Or would you prefer some water-element mischief?" "P-Please, I apologize!"
The teacher was stubborn. Refusing to yield to threats — now that's admirable nerve.
"I'm just joking."
I gave up on getting anything out of him and moved on to Vice-Principal Geenus. If the lower-ups couldn't help, I'd go above them.
At the far end of the staff room, Geenus was wrestling with a mountain of paperwork. A school this massive would keep any vice-principal buried in work. I felt bad about interrupting, but it'd only take a few words.
"Vice-Principal Geenus."
"Oh,
Problem children. Who's he talking about? Bardigarde? Or
"What brings you here today?" "Well, actually, I wanted to ask about Fitz-senpai."
At that, Geenus's eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.
"I'm sorry, but regarding them, there's been pressure from above." "Oh, I see."
Tell your superiors to go kick rocks and just answer my question, is what I wanted to say. But looking at Geenus's exhausted face, I held my tongue. Schools had their own politics. They might have agreed to take in the second princess in exchange for funding, or something along those lines.
"Could you at least tell me their gender?" "Gender… hmm… let me see…"
Geenus gave a wry smile. He was always giving wry smiles.
He thought for about a minute. A minute of doing nothing and waiting is an eternity.
"He is… male."
In the end, that was Geenus's answer.
--- So it came to nothing — I couldn't find out whether Fitz-senpai was male or female. Geenus said "male," but there had clearly been pressure applied, and he'd been agonizing over his words, so it was impossible to tell truth from lies.
However, just before that, Geenus had referred to Fitz-senpai as "them." If Princess Ariel is the leader and the group consists of two women and one man, wouldn't "them" be the more natural pronoun regardless?
No, that's splitting hairs. It's just nitpicking words. Far from being a solid reason.
"Phew."
Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the library. The usual seat where I used to do research with Fitz-senpai. I sat down and let out a sigh.
"Ahh…"
What would I even do if I found out Fitz-senpai was a woman? If she was female — would I confess? Tell him I like him? Me?
I mean, that'd be important and all… but something felt off. That wasn't it.
And anyway, what about after a confession? After. Right — after. With this body, what could I do? The crane doesn't respond, but it's not out of gas either. My mind is still packed to the brim with carnal desires.
Eventually I won't be able to hold back anymore. And when I can't hold back but still have to hold back, it'll break me.
That's right. I won't gloss things over with convenient words like "love" or "romance" that you can slap onto anything. I want to do things with Fitz-senpai. All sorts of things. I want to do this and that. Well, we don't even have to go that far.
"At the very least, I wish I could at least handle things myself…"
And right then — tap — someone patted my shoulder.
I looked up. I turned around. And there was Fitz-senpai.
"What is it you want to do?"
Fitz-senpai was tilting his head slightly, peering down at me.
"Whoa—!"
I jumped up in shock. My chair caught on my leg.
"Whoa, careful!"
Fitz-senpai reached out. He grabbed my hand. But his strength wasn't enough to support me.
"Whoa—!"
We tumbled down together. The chair went with us, slamming the desk hard as we fell.
When I came to my senses — Fitz-senpai was on top of me. I had him in my arms, and we'd rolled to a stop.
"……" "……"
Fitz-senpai's face was at an absurdly close distance. I couldn't read his expression behind those sunglasses, but his nose bridge and thin lips were right before my eyes.
Light. But still, the definite weight of a person. And the warmth of a human body, transmitted directly to me.
A gentle, pleasant scent tickled my nose. Fitz-senpai's scent. The kind I'd want to smell all day long.
My hands were wrapped around Fitz-senpai's waist and hips. A narrow waist. Far too slender to be male. The hips were a bit thin for a woman, but soft. Completely unconvincing as male. Just touching this was making my little rascal stir. Stir…
Oh.
"Ah, s-sorry!"
Fitz-senpai's face went crimson. He scrambled to apologize and tried to get up.
"Fitz-senpai… so you really are a woman after all…"
Fitz-senpai's expression froze. His mouth opened and closed several times. Finally, he shook his head.
"N-No… B-Boku is a boy!"
Fitz-senpai sprang to his feet, stumbled back several steps, then turned on his heel and ran. In the blink of an eye, he was gone.
"…………"
On the table nearby, several books sat where they'd been left. He'd probably come to grab course materials, just like that one time.
Fitz-senpai was a woman. That was important. Very important. But more important than that — more important than any of that — "It stood up…"
For roughly three years, the immovable thing that wouldn't budge no matter what had finally risen. With that brief contact, the part that had been failing me for years was standing at attention. I touched it with my right hand and felt its brave, unmistakable solidity.
"…………I see."
This was the first time I truly understood the
I murmured to myself.
I'd known from the start that Fitz-senpai was hiding something. Dressing in men's clothes, serving as the princess's bodyguard — there was something he was concealing. There were circumstances.
It stood tall, planted firmly on the ground. But I couldn't seem to push any further. If I did, I'd only cause trouble.
He'd gone to the trouble of crossdressing to hide his identity, and it might all get exposed because of me. That'd be a burden.
I like Fitz-senpai. If someone I like has something they're hiding — should I expose their secret because of my own desires? Should I unleash this lust that's been simmering for the first time in years? No.
What I should do isn't to reveal Fitz-senpai's identity. It's to keep his secret. To understand his circumstances.
Besides, if I didn't do that, I'd end up saying something like "Keep quiet and come to my room tonight." Doing that to Fitz-senpai, who's helped me so much… Ah, but the image of him yielding, peeling off those thick layers of clothing one by one in front of me… "I never thought you were that kind of person," he'd say, pouting, until he was in his underwear… What kind of panties is he wearing? Probably white. And then the last one comes off…
No, no, no. Bad. Bad, bad, bad.
That's no good. He — no, she — has helped me countless times. To repay that kindness with treachery is unforgivable. Besides, I don't want to be thought of as "that kind of person." I'm a gentleman.
Right. As before, I'll treat him as a man as best I can. And if he's ever about to be exposed, I'll quietly help him out.
Just like she helped me on the very first day of enrollment. Surely back then, she'd been in real danger too. She'd been about to stick her neck out over the dormitory agreement, putting her own position at risk.
But she helped me. I don't know why, but she did. If a similar situation comes around, it'll be my turn next. I'll be the one to help Fitz-senpai.
"Wait — if she's a woman, then…"
I'd gotten that far in my thoughts when something suddenly hit me.
All those crude jokes I'd been making, thinking Fitz-senpai was a man this whole time. The sexual harassment at the slave market. The sexual harassment when capturing Linia and Pursena. The sexual harassment about carrying the staff.
I groaned in agony.
--- By the time I was done writhing in mortification, my son had gone into hiding again. No amount of rubbing or coaxing would coax him out. At least he wasn't slamming the floor like I did — that was something. I'd have liked to experience at least once the transcendent ecstasy of exceeding 1.21 gigawatts and breaking through the boundaries of space-time, but apparently recovery was still far off. Oh well. I'd seen the first signs of life. No need to rush. For now, I'd head back to my room and relive that sensation from earlier.
--- **— Ariel's Perspective —** Sylph was in tears again.
"Uuuh… I said he was a boy, that he's a boy! It was such a perfect chance — Rudy was even making a move, and I ruined it!" "……That must have been rough."
How many times was this now that she'd come crying to me like this? Sylph went through emotional whiplash at every little thing and sought me out for comfort.
All I heard was lovesick rambling.
Sometimes she'd go on about visiting the slave market with Rudy and seeing him act cool, or that it was her first time seeing a naked man up close, going dreamy-eyed — or that she'd made friends with Prince Zanoba of Shirone, blushing as she smiled.
Sometimes she'd report that Rudy had gotten truly angry and locked up Linia and Pursena, going on about how just because he won a duel doesn't mean he can break other people's things.
Sometimes she'd sigh and say that Rudy apparently had quite a lot of experience, that it was a complicated feeling, but "I guess it's only natural for Rudy."
Sometimes she'd come panicking because Rudy came to her for romantic advice, wondering "Oh no, could Rudy have someone he likes?" — and then feel deflated because she'd said something bossy and superior without thinking, despite being in the same boat herself.
Sometimes she'd light up saying that Rudy let her carry his staff, that the magic stone was incredibly huge and she was so surprised, that it must have been expensive, and that being trusted to transport something so valuable meant Rudy really did trust her.
Sometimes she'd get dreamy-eyed recalling a fight, saying Rudy looked so cool fighting Bardigarde — "I just watched with my mouth hanging open, like 'whoa.'"
Sometimes she'd look lonely saying Rudy was helping with the silent-casting research and she couldn't be alone with him anymore.
And today — she came crying because she'd been confronted with that physical evidence and had lied, then fled.
(Sigh… honestly, she should just reveal her identity already…)
By this point, my perception of Rudeus Greyrat had shifted considerably. At first, I'd thought he was a cowering, obsequious wretch, but I'd come to understand that was nothing more than an act.
He'd taken the divine heir of Shirone, Zanoba, as his subordinate. The princess of the Great Forest, Linia and Pursena, looked up to him as their boss.
Among the special students, there were many I'd tried to recruit and failed. Rudeus Greyrat had brought all of them together. Someone merely obsequious couldn't accomplish that.
As for the concern I'd once had — that his reputation was too clean — I no longer doubted it.
Rudeus Greyrat's magic had blown the immortal Demon King Bardigarde to pieces. Blown to pieces. To pieces. The Demon King protected by hardened battle aura — obliterated in a single strike. The being I feared, considered beyond my ability, and could only watch helplessly as he terrorized everyone — obliterated in a single strike.
It was too powerful. But with strength like that, surely he could take down one or two stray dragons.
And yet, for someone so powerful, he was extraordinarily mild-mannered. Even when he was falsely accused of stealing underwear and threatened by female students, he never once got angry. The only time he'd truly been angry since coming to this school, I heard, was toward Linia and Pursena. And what he'd actually done was lock them up and draw on their faces. Yet those two — Linia and Pursena — had become abnormally terrified and obedient. They must have felt his fury up close. The fury of someone who could fell a Demon King in one blow. And of course, they never spread any negative rumors about Rudeus. In fact, they were probably too scared to.
Rudeus Greyrat always defers to others, living as if trying to make himself invisible. Despite being that strong. Despite having the power to do whatever he pleased. I couldn't understand why. Honestly, the more I thought about it, the more it felt like he was plotting something sinister.
But from everything Sylph told me, he wasn't a bad person. When I'd first seen his face up close the other day, I'd felt something like warm affection directed at "Fitz." His appearance was suspicious, but perhaps with those close to him, he was a gentle person. He'd seen through me at a glance, and I'd gotten wary and taken a somewhat hostile stance, but I heard his behavior toward Sylph hadn't changed much afterward.
There were still unclear parts, but forming a genuine bond with him — and by extension, with all the special students — would be an enormous advantage. Now might be the time to bow my head openly and ask for cooperation.
But… let me be honest. He scared me. He scared me. Was it because Sylph was strong that she wasn't afraid of him? Or because she saw through to his true nature?
Watching Sylph's happy face, my desire to pull Rudeus into my political power struggles faded.
I wanted Sylph to be happy. I myself had no prospect of happiness, but she was just a girl who'd been caught up in my fight for the throne. She bore no obligation like a noble, nor had she sworn loyalty like Luke. She was following me purely out of duty and friendship. She didn't need to stay at my side until the very end when I collapsed. If she could break away somewhere and live happily as an ordinary woman, that would be best.
Sylph might not agree. She'd been working hard as my comrade too. But her romance with Rudeus was, I felt, a welcome opportunity.
It wasn't my place to judge, but I considered Rudeus an excellent prospect. He was someone I could entrust my friend Sylph to. The fact that he'd forgotten Sylph was a minus, but well, it couldn't be helped.
The problem was where Sylph's romance was heading. Infuriatingly slow, barely making progress — that was where Sylph's love stood. A full year had passed, they'd grown friendly but there was no forward movement. The dense Rudeus and the timid Sylph. Watching them, I could only feel exasperation at the course they were taking.
I believed Sylph should push harder. She didn't seem to realize it, but Rudeus could end up with anyone at any time.
Take Linia and Pursena, for instance. They didn't seem likely to develop that kind of relationship with Rudeus right now, but give it another year or two, and who knew.
And the silent-caster. That difficult masked woman was cooperating with Rudeus. According to Sylph, it didn't seem to be that kind of relationship — but spending that much time together, anything could happen.
While Sylph dithered, Rudeus's feelings might shift to someone else.
No — they would. At the very least, Rudeus had no reason to hold back out of consideration for "Fitz." …After all, he'd responded to Sylph's crossdressing and simply asked "so you're a woman?" — that didn't exactly scream homosexuality. Hmm. So he seemed to realize that "Fitz" was female after all… I'd thought he was dense, but had he known and was choosing to ignore it? No — perhaps he'd sensed Sylph's situation and was being considerate.
Hmm? If that was the case… was the current stalemate my fault? Was it because of me that things were stuck in this frustrating limbo?
(In that case, it's only right that I help… Very well.)
I resolved to help Sylph with her love.