"So in the end, Subaru—why did you go and do something like that?"
"I already told you guys everything exactly as it happened. If there's any other reason... Ha! Could it be that you over there—evil loli—somehow invaded my consciousness!? Evil little girl! Evil girl, short for evil little girl!"
"On top of everything you pulled, you're going to shift the blame onto me!? Worst! This guy is the absolute worst!"
"Shut up! Can a loli who drinks like a degenerate in broad daylight even have a valid opinion!? You're just drunk and seeing and hearing things wrong, aren't you!? And seriously, what's the legal drinking age in this country anyway!?"
Spitting words right back at
Without so much as flinching at the abrupt topic change, Rem bowed gracefully and said, politely: "And what, exactly, does 'okay' mean, sir?"
Still bowing, she tilted her head at a delicate angle. Subaru scratched his head and replied: "Starting from there, are we!? It means 'is that acceptable' or 'is that all right'!"
Rem nodded in understanding. Then, exchanging a glance with
"Fourteen years old."
"Seriously?"
"What does 'seriously' mean?"
"'Seriously'?"
"It means 'Is that true?' or 'Is that for sure?' or 'Isn't that totally insane?'"
"Ohhhh."
The two nodded in perfect, impressed unison. Meaning, by extension— "Seriously, you can drink from age fourteen!?"
"'Is it truly acceptable for fourteen-year-olds to drink?'"
Communication between them had been achieved. A perfect translation had been accomplished.
Overcome with joy, the three of them looked at each other and raised their hands— "YAY!"
One by one, they high-fived. Then, with their hands still raised to the sky, they spun around in a circle on the spot, going round and round together.
"...Are you done with your little performance?"
"Man, what a buzzkill drill-loli."
"You're so annoying! Seriously, what even are you!?"
Seething, Beatrice crossed her arms and slumped back in her chair in a huff. Seeing that she'd fallen silent—apparently having decided she'd had enough of arguing with Subaru—
Or maybe it was his imagination, but she was looking at him with those pale eyes of hers—colder than before.
"Even a look like that is cute... This is basically a crime at this point..."
"...Haa. I'm starting to get the hang of how to deal with you, Subaru. I just need to ignore those same casual lines you'd feed to anyone and get to the real topic, right?"
"Anyone? That hurts to hear. I only say stuff like that to you,
"Yes, yes, I'll forget all about it, so let's move on."
Emilia clapped her hands briskly to reset the conversation and obediently returned to her seat. With no other choice, Subaru followed suit, and once he'd settled in, Roswaal spoke: "Well now, we've strayed quite far off track, haven't we? Shall we get to the main topic, Subaru-kun?"
"Given that I haven't been beheaded yet, I'll take that as a sign this isn't going to be terrible. I hope."
Roswaal whistled at Subaru's words. Emilia looked a bit surprised too—probably because she'd assumed Subaru had committed all that insolence as a way to probe their intentions.
Of course, in reality it was nothing more than shameless, glib bluster.
Before that truth could come to light, Subaru pressed forward on the offensive. If he could keep control of the conversation's direction, he figured, there'd be less chance of being led somewhere bad.
"So here's my guess, along with the main topic. You went out of your way to bring up the queen candidate talk with Emilia-tan. There's gotta be some kind of connection, right?"
"Are you really a pervert, Subaru? Or are you not?"
"Aren't those two options way too extreme!?"
Emilia, eyes wide, offered a breezy "Sorry, sorry." Subaru was actually pretty genuinely offended, but Roswaal picked up right where her apology left off: "But your guess is spot-on. What we discussed about the queen candidates, and the matter of your situation—they are indeed related. —Emilia-sama."
"Yeah, I know."
At his call, Emilia gave a small response and slipped her hand into her breast pocket.
Suddenly, Subaru noticed that the atmosphere in the dining hall had lost its softness. The people around the table were the same, but the aura surrounding them had turned solemn and heavy.
Instinctively, even Subaru straightened his spine. Before him, Emilia set something she'd drawn from her pocket onto the table. It was— "Hey, that's the insignia!"
The emblem depicting a dragon—stolen by
The crimson jewel at its center gleamed in its owner's hand, its radiance so deeply luminous that it somehow filled even Subaru with a sense of awe.
"The dragon represents the crest of Lugnica. 'The Sacred Dragon Kingdom of Lugnica'—quite the grandiose name, wouldn't you say? The dragon symbol appears everywhere—on the castle walls, on weapons, you name it. And that insignia in particular is exceptionally important. Because—"
Roswaal paused. Subaru's gaze urged him to continue, and he nodded, then signaled Emilia with his eyes. She closed her eyes, and then: "Eligibility for the Royal Selection. —It's the touchstone to determine whether someone is worthy of sitting on the throne of the Kingdom of Lugnica."
At that powerlessly stated fact, Subaru's eyes went wide. His gaze darted back to the crimson glow on the table. The emblem of the dragon with its wings spread—the glimmer of the jewel at its center seemed to confirm everything. Putting all the pieces together— "N-No way... You lost the insignia that proves your eligibility for the Royal Selection!?"
"That makes it sound so bad! It was stolen by a sticky-fingered brat!"
"Same thing!!"
Subaru leaped to his feet with a roar, slamming his hands on the table.
The dishes nearly went flying, but Rem—who'd been standing by—caught them deftly. Subaru paid her no mind, however. He looked down at Emilia, her face flushed red and her eyes brimming with humiliation, and said: "You think making a face like that is gonna make me back off!? Seriously, what's going on!? If you lose something like that, can't you just go to city hall and get a replacement issued!?"
"I don't know what a 'city hall' is, but simply walking in and asking for the same thing back doesn't sound all that easy, does it?"
Watching Subaru flail about, Roswaal calmly adjusted the large collar of his outfit and continued: "A king is one who shoulders the burden of an entire kingdom. If someone aspiring to such a great role can't even protect a single small insignia, that's simply out of the question. How could anyone consider entrusting a nation to them?"
"Well, yeah, exactly. Who'd keep entrusting jobs to a bumbling fool like Hachibei? Only someone just as careless as Lord Mito himself, that's who."
"Bumbling?"
"Hachibei?"
While the twins split the names of these mystery characters between them, Subaru began to piece the situation together.
The stolen insignia, the alleyway encounter, the showdown in the treasure vault, and now this hospitality—all the threads converged into a single answer.
"If the guards found out you lost the insignia, you'd be seriously screwed. That's why you had no choice but to search for it all by yourself—a lonely, solitary lone wolf."
"...Yeah, that's right."
"Felt was the one who stole it, but Elsa was the one who set her up to do it. And Elsa said she'd been hired by someone. Which means... there's somebody out there trying to keep Emilia-tan from becoming queen?"
"That's most likely, yes. Stealing the insignia is the kind of straightforward plan anyone would think of to knock someone out of the Royal Selection."
Hearing it confirmed in so many words made all the pieces of yesterday's events start to fit together.
Emilia's stubbornness, Felt and Elsa's employer, and the value of the insignia—the direct reason Subaru had been killed over and over again.
"Putting it all together like that—I was super GJ! Isn't that insane!? Emilia-tan was this close to dropping out of the Royal Selection!? You can't just go 'Whoops, I lost the insignia, tee-hee!' and call it a day!?"
"I understood about sixty percent of what you just said."
"Doesn't matter. The important thing is—when you look back on it, haven't I actually done a pretty great job for Emilia-tan!?"
Learning unexpectedly just how significant his accomplishments had been sent Subaru into euphoria. Once again he sprang from his seat, breathing hard as he leaned his face close to Emilia—who was still sitting.
"Hmph hmph~ How about that, huh, Emilia-tan? Wasn't my performance pretty nice and happy!? At this point, it's only natural for me to expect a reward, don't you think!? How about it!?"
As he let Higurashi-esque sentence endings roll off his tongue, Subaru gently lifted the chin of the downcast Emilia, tilting her face upward.
His narrowed eyes and lewd posturing made him look every bit the seasoned villain. Riding high on his good mood, he tensed his abs in anticipation of the inevitable retort. But— "...That's right. Subaru, you're already a tremendous benefactor to me. It goes far beyond just saving my life. So... ask me for anything."
"Huh...?"
"Anything I can do, I'll do. No—anything you want me to do, I'll let you do. What you've helped me hold on to... it's worth that much."
Hand pressed to her chest, she looked back at him with a dead-serious expression, and Subaru was struck speechless.
He let go of her chin, his mood gauge wildly out of sync with the unexpectedly serious turn the conversation had taken.
—Shit. I really can't read the room.
Having been cast aside time and again for his inability to read the room, Subaru had developed a razor-sharp sensitivity to "the atmosphere after you've failed to read the room." The trouble was, he still couldn't read "the atmosphere right before you fail to read the room"—that thing normal people were born with—so in the end, he kept putting his foot in it regardless.
True to form, this time was no different. Subaru's clueless energy and Emilia's earnest gaze were completely out of sync, and he had no idea what to do.
"Y-You shouldn't just tell a guy you'll do anything so casually!? A bad, evil guy like me might take you up on that with a 'gehehe' and a 'mufufu,' you know!"
"...That's fine with me. If that's what Subaru wants, I'll comply. Gehehe or mufufu, ahin-ahin or chome-chome, I'll—"
"Don't say such filthy things! And are you about to cry in the second half of that!?"
Subaru felt a wave of relief at the sight of Emilia, who was hugging her own shoulders and looking like she might burst into tears.
If she'd truly steeled herself with that much grim resolve, even Subaru wouldn't have known how to respond. Of course, he was choosing to overlook the rather unfortunate implication that being perceived as the type of person who'd do such things said something damning about his reputation.
Subaru placed his hand on the crown of Emilia's silver hair and gently stroked it.
For a moment, she seemed startled by the sensation of his palm. But seeing Subaru do it in silence, she simply yielded to the gesture without a word.
Finding her small, animal-like reaction endearing, Subaru turned back to Roswaal.
The tall man—who had been watching their exchange with thoroughly genuine enjoyment—noticed Subaru's gaze and raised his eyebrows, as if to say "Oh my."
"Oh? If we're in the way, that's perfectly fine. We'll take our leave, shall we?"
"A first time at the dining table is way too abnormal! What are you planning to use these silver utensils for, you depraved, corrupt noble...!"
"I never intended anything that extreme, you know."
At the tall man's resigned, wry smile, Subaru's lips curled upward. Then, with the hand that wasn't stroking Emilia's hair, he touched his own chin—pinching it between thumb and forefinger, just like a boy detective working through a deduction.
"W-W-Wait, listen up, Rozu-chi. Sure, I've got some ridiculously good terms dangling right in front of me—like a carrot in front of a horse's face, seriously. But I'm not so brain-dead that I'd just chase after it blindly. Before I go signing on to anything, there are still plenty of questions I need answered, y'know?"
"Ahh, do tell."
"Alright then, here's the question. Answer carefully and honestly, okay? If Emilia-tan is a candidate for queen... then what exactly are you?"
Pointing the finger he'd had on his chin straight at Roswaal, Subaru posed the question. The magician's lips curled at the edges, forming an even more delighted smile.