"You're truly a mystery, you know that? Here you are at the mansion of
"Well, in a way, it was practically illegal entry..."
More like "I blinked and suddenly I was in the country" — that was the level of understanding Subaru had.
"I can't believe you. You just blurted something like that out so casually — what do you think would happen if we reported you to the Management Bureau? You'd be thrown in a cell in no time and torn to shreds."
"Torn to shreds? That's not exactly a term you hear every day."
"Don't joke around. Hey, Subaru. Are you really okay? Is everyone around you like this, or are you the only one who's especially clueless?"
Feeling genuinely guilty about how Emilia was sincerely worried about him, Subaru scratched his head and reflected on his behavior up to now.
"Ah, I guess I'm a little special when it comes to being forgetful. So if it's not too much trouble, I would be ever so grateful if you would grace me with an explanation."
"When you can talk like that, you seem like you must come from some kind of respectable family, but..."
If Subaru went out into society using such sloppy language, his social career would be over on the spot. Emilia's susceptibility to surface-level impressions made Subaru somewhat suspicious.
"Something's off here. Emilia-tan doesn't seem all that knowledgeable about this stuff either, does she? What you just said was a total mess of honorifics and humble language all jumbled together."
"Ugh... I can't deny that."
Emilia shrank a little at Subaru's observation. Subaru was surprised that the girl who seemed to know everything had this blind spot, but it was Roswaal, who had been sitting quietly at the head of the table, who came to her rescue.
"Emilia-sama is still in the process of studying such matters right now. Of course, I understand your observation as well."
"Studying, huh? Could that maybe tie into what we were just talking about?"
"Ahaha, how astute. You're really thinking, aren't you? It's precisely because you're thinking that you let slip those statements that make it sound like you're not thinking at all."
"Well, thinking is just basic human nature, isn't it? Even if your limbs are achy, your nose is running, and your insides are showing, thinking is still a human obligation."
"That's a disturbing metaphor, but somehow it feels weirdly sincere..."
Of course it did — it came from real experience.
Moved by Subaru's words, Roswaal extended his hand, and the twins promptly handed him a notebook and pen. He jotted down a summary with practiced ease, then turned back to Subaru.
"That was good too. Being around you really sparks all kinds of ideas."
"How many times a day do you fill that notebook? And what number is it in your lifetime?"
"That question pertains to the secret arts of the Mathers family. Too bad — I can't tell you."
Seeing a grown man turn his head away with a theatrical "hmph," Subaru groaned inwardly.
He was growing increasingly exasperated dealing with someone who had a more colorful personality than himself. It was Emilia who threw him a lifeline, clearing her throat and steering the conversation back on track.
"So, to get back on topic — do you know what kind of situation the Kingdom of Lugnica is in right now, Subaru?"
"Not a single thing. Nothing at all. Not even a little bit."
"When you put it that bluntly, it's actually refreshing. I'm constantly amazed by the way you live your life. I'm genuinely starting to get worried about you."
Emilia's exasperation had crossed into the realm of looking at Subaru like he was a small child. She hadn't exactly been trying to play on his protective instincts and appeal to his maternal side, but the result was that the mental distance between them had widened to roughly that of a mother and her toddler.
Trying to bridge the age gap he'd somehow created, Subaru shook his chair back and forth, pestering her for the rest.
"You're like a child. So, the current state of Lugnica is one of martial law. In particular, travel to and from foreign countries is under strict control."
"Martial law... That doesn't sound very peaceful."
"Ahaha, 'peaceful' is not the word for it. — After all, the Kingdom of Lugnica right now has no king."
Roswaal delivered the conclusion. Subaru weighed those words, grasped their meaning, and quietly held his breath.
He glanced at Emilia and the twins, then at
"No need to worry! It's already become common knowledge throughout the city."
"Ah, good. For a second there, I thought you'd let me in on a secret only to kill me for knowing it."
"We wouldn't broadcast it ourselves just to do that. — In any case, the whole country is on edge because of this situation."
"Martial law is part of that too, then. With the king absent, neither bringing foreign trouble here nor the reverse would be desirable."
Subaru nodded in understanding.
A kingdom without a king was, from an administrative standpoint, probably fatal. Whether the king had died of illness or from other causes, the sudden 'death' of the king had thrown the nation into turmoil.
"Hm? But wait — isn't this the kind of thing where the king's kid inherits the throne and everything's solved? And if they're too young, you just appoint a regent or something."
"Oh, you're following along with this conversation. Ordinarily, you'd be right. But the roots of this go back half a year — to around the same time the king passed away, there was an epidemic that swept through the castle."
Roswaal explained that it had been announced as a contagious disease that affected a specific bloodline.
Through this, the king and his descendants who had been living in the castle were wiped out.
"So it's really a kingdom without a king, then. What happens to the country? There's no royal bloodline left — do they just hold an election for prime minister based on popular vote?"
"I have absolutely no idea what the latter half of that means, but the country's current administration is being handled by the Council of Wise Men. They're all prominent figures whose names appear in the Kingdom's history — basically an assembly of aristocrats. The impact on actual governance isn't that significant."
He paused, then continued, his expression hardening.
"However — a kingdom without a king should not exist."
"Well, obviously."
Even if the king were merely a figurehead with no real administrative role, an organization without a head couldn't function. And that was doubly true for a nation.
Even in Japan, no matter how much people whispered about popular sovereignty, there was still a prime minister at the top. That person held the position of ultimate responsibility, and even if people in that role were replaced willy-nilly, the structure itself persisted.
"So a kingdom without a king needs to choose a new one. But the bloodline is almost entirely extinct. That means they have to find a way for everyone in the country to accept who becomes the next ruler."
"Wow, Subaru. You're such a strange boy. You don't know anything, yet your mind works like that. You really are the very definition of a wise fool."
"Don't praise me like that. I'm not used to compliments, so I'll fall for you."
He tossed that off as a deflection and turned his face away from Emilia.
He slapped his own cheeks, turning the red flush into a comedic moment, then turned back toward Roswaal, raising a finger as he organized his thoughts.
"I'm starting to get it now. So the Kingdom is without a king, caught up in chaos over the selection process, AND it's in a semi-isolationist state with reduced foreign relations. And then on top of all that, a mysterious foreigner shows up — me! I look super suspicious!!"
"And to add to that, you made contact with Emilia-sama and became involved with the Mathers family as well. If someone were jumping to conclusions, that alone would be enough to..."
Roswaal closed his eyes and drew a finger across his neck in a guillotine gesture.
Watching this from the corner of his eye, Subaru couldn't stop the cold sweat that came with his bad premonition.
"Whoa! Based on that pervert's comment, I think I've roughly figured it out! The Mathers family is a prestigious house like it looks, and there's a possibility they're connected to the Council of Wise Men — or maybe something even more central —?!"
Given the flow of the conversation, that was the largest possibility Subaru could imagine.
The way Roswaal seemed to enjoy dropping hints, the way he had guided the conversation — it didn't feel like the words of someone observing the situation from the outside.
If that were the case, he could only be an insider, and as the owner of such a grand estate, the standing of his family must be considerable.
"I-I humbly offer my little finger as an apology for my lèse-majesté. If you would accept its removal, I would be eternally grateful..."
"I have good news for you and your frightening imagination. You can relax. I am not a member of the Council of Wise Men, and I'm not currently in a position that involves the royal throne. — Isn't that right, Emilia-sama?"
Roswaal laughed off Subaru's offer of his little finger as though he'd just heard the finest joke. He then sought confirmation from Emilia, who responded with a sullen silence.
For a moment, Subaru nearly exploded at Roswaal's coy behavior, but he quickly registered a discrepancy and his thoughts ground to a halt.
Yes — he'd been noticing it for a while now, repeatedly.
"Why... does the master of the house address Emilia-tan with an honorific?"
The person with the highest status in the mansion was treating her with the utmost respect.
Anxiety sprouted and began to bloom its dark flowers before Subaru's eyes. He confirmed his suspicion by directing his gaze to Roswaal, who said: "Well, it's only natural, isn't it? When addressing someone of higher standing than yourself, you use an honorific."
With a malicious smile, Roswaal folded his hands on the table.
Subaru stood there dumbstruck, mouth hanging open. He looked at Emilia with a stiff, mechanical motion — it practically creaked — and she let out a sigh of resignation.
"I wasn't trying to deceive you or anything like that."
"U-uh, so Emilia-tan is basically..."
Still stubbornly attaching "-tan" to her name, Subaru refused to accept this reality.
And to deliver the killing blow: "My current title is one of the forty-second generation Royal Candidates of the Kingdom of Lugnica. With Marquis Roswaal as my backer."
At those words, Subaru felt the hurdle of his romantic prospects shoot up as high as an orbital elevator.
A certain line flashed through his mind: "The girl I fell for was a queen." Well, strictly speaking, a queen candidate.
"Somehow, the phrase 'queen candidate' has a kind of erotic ring to it."
"I don't really get it, but I'm being serious here!"
"Guh, that icy stare gives me a little shiver too... As expected of a queen. Please don't look at me like I'm a lowly pig."
"I'm not looking at you with a mean expression! And I really don't want to be the one criticized by you for my eye expression!"
Subaru writhed under the scolding beauty at close range, collapsing onto the table and trembling. He buried his face to hide his expression, but inside, his heart was pounding.
Above all, he did not want Emilia to see the pathetic face he was surely making right now.
Queen candidate — to be blunt, for Subaru, who didn't understand authoritarianism, the idea of a world with a king at the top was a concept he was unfamiliar with outside of manga and games.
Even so, he understood how far removed a potential head of state was from ordinary people.
And Subaru didn't even have citizenship in this world. His standing was questionable even for the category of "ordinary citizen."
The feelings that had already been crushed as an unrequited love far beyond his station took an even harder hit upon learning that Emilia had not only her beauty but also a status to match.
His mood was like trying to climb to the top of an orbital elevator with his bare hands.
"Oh Jesus, I can't believe it. I'm shocked at how bleak my romantic prospects are. Even Romeo, who loved Juliet, would sympathize with me."
"Hey, Subaru, are you okay? You suddenly went quiet..."
He raised his face with tear-filled eyes, and through his blurred vision, Emilia came into focus. The worried amethyst gaze looking down at him — skin white as fresh snow, and soft pink lips that produced a voice like a silver bell.
She seemed so impossibly far away, so utterly out of reach.
"——Heave."
Unable to help himself, Subaru pulled the girl beside him into his arms.
"——Huh?"
"Wow, you're so tiny. And so soft. You smell amazing."
For a moment, Emilia couldn't process what had just happened.
Holding her against his chest, Subaru indulged in the sensation to his heart's content.
For Subaru, who had minimal experience with interpersonal relationships, hugging a girl was an entirely novel experience. The time he'd shielded
Emilia, belatedly realizing the situation, flushed red and began to struggle.
"W-what!? What are you doing!?"
"Well, when you're right in front of me like this, my animal instincts just go wild. Besides, if I think about it calmly, this kind of thing was out of reach from the very start, so I figured it wasn't worth worrying about."
"I have no idea what you're saying!?"
"Hang on. Let me calmly analyze myself. — So basically, while I was thinking about whether this was within reach or not, you appeared right before my eyes, so I had a reflexive spinal-cord reaction where the 'manliness index' in my body surged with libido, leading to an embrace. And since I'd already gone through with it, I concluded that it would be wasteful not to savor it as much as possible and impossible to die with regrets. That's how this happy-for-me, unhappy-for-you surprise snapshot came about..."
"Even though you explained it in detail, I still don't understand!?"
Subaru was stalling with his long-winded explanation to extend the hug, but Emilia finally broke free from his arms.
Subaru was lonely after losing the hug. The red-faced Emilia pointed at him with tears in her eyes.
"Don't suddenly hug girls like that! It's because it was me that it's not such a big deal, but if it were a normal girl, she'd take it seriously!"
"I wasn't aiming to do that or anything! It was like I was being commanded by someone. Could it be that Emilia-tan used charm magic on me? What a villain!"
"I didn't do anything! That's a false accusation! And stop giving me that thumbs-up!"
His vigorous thumbs-up rejected, Subaru sheepishly lowered his right hand.
That said, the fact that his body had moved on reflex was undeniable. And the words he'd said afterward weren't lies either, but if anyone asked him to say them again, he'd die of embarrassment.
"The truth is your eyes stole my heart" — something like that.
"No way, that's too embarrassing. If I said that, I'd end up being all like 'How wonderful, hold me!'"
"My, my. You really are fearless, aren't you?"
Roswaal, who had been watching the entire exchange, pressed a hand to his cheek and said this with a barely suppressed laugh. Emilia glared at him with her face still red, but Roswaal, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, pretended not to notice.
"She's a future queen candidate, you know? There's a chance she'll remember this act of lèse-majesté for a very, very long time, and when she ascends the throne, she might just have you executed..."
"Are you telling me to regret today's happiness for the sake of an uncertain tomorrow? Don't look down on victims of permissive education who are hedonists to the core!"
Subaru raised his middle finger and delivered the line with terrible manners, then pointed at Emilia with his free hand.
"Even if she's a future queen, Emilia-tan in this very moment is just a girl. And I'm just a guy. No one has the right to complain about what a man and a woman do, no matter how fleeting the encounter! So —!"
He planted a foot on his chair, clenched his fist, and declared at the top of his lungs.
"Even if I'm executed tomorrow, I will hold Emilia-tan in my arms, sniff her hair, and live off the lingering warmth of that moment —!"
At Subaru's blood-curdling declaration, the dining hall fell into silence.
Everyone was struck speechless by his intensity. They swallowed the words — rough, yet proud — and gulped in unison. Then: "Sorry for interrupting breakfast. Now, let's all go back to our meals. Let's start the family dinner over and forget about this little disagreement..."
"You really piled on some grand rhetoric for what was basically just a pervert's outburst."
Subaru, trying to run a hand through his hair and recover the room's mood with sheer force of personality, was abruptly deflated.
The one who deflated him was Beatrice, sitting at a distance, watching them with a bored expression. She stroked the grey fur of Pack, who was lying on the table with terrible manners, and said: "In the end, you were simply seduced by that little minx's charms. And to think you were able to rattle off that much..."
"You really are my natural enemy, aren't you..."
At Beatrice's exasperated words, Subaru slumped his shoulders and could only respond with that.
Starting with Beatrice's snort of contempt, the other members gradually began to regain their senses.
Which was to say — the real inquest into Subaru's sexual harassment was just getting started.