——Most mornings begin with a sudden shock.
"Come on, get up already!"
"Bea-trice!?"
A bright voice rings out, followed by a decidedly un-bright impact slamming straight into my stomach. I let out a yelp and snap awake, and there it is right in front of me — my adorable little sister's face, as lovely as ever.
"Yo, Bea. Pretty, cute, and lovely as always today, huh?"
"Obviously. That goes without saying, since Betty is always pretty today too. Now come on, it's a nice morning, so get up and have breakfast with me!"
"Aha! You haven't understood a thing, have you! You're going back to sleep! That's a back-to-sleep position!"
"Ugh, come on, Bea. I want to treasure every minute I get to eat with you in my limited lifespan. But I want to savor this decadent morning time just as much…"
"Muu! That's unforgivable! Ni… Subaru! What's more important to you, me or going back to sleep?!"
"Such a tasteless line straight out of a daytime drama— wait, hold on, that actually works!"
"Huh? What are you suddenly— kyah!?"
I reach out to the little girl swaying on my stomach and drag her right into the covers with me.
I settle her head snugly against my chest and pat her hair, then lazily drag Beatrice into my decadent naptime. —Now this is what I call hitting two birds with one stone: sleeping in with my little sister!
"This way, Bea gets to enjoy a second round of bliss too. The effect is double… no, it's multiplicative, exceeding even twice the happiness of a normal second sleep!"
"There you go spouting nonsense again! L-Let go! Betty isn't so childish that she'd sleep with you anymore!"
"Aww, it's been so sad without you sleeping with me lately… So I'm going to take this opportunity to absorb every last drop of 'Beatrix.' Sniff, sniff."
"Don't sniff me!"
Beatrice squirms in my arms, putting up an adorable fight.
For the record, "Beatrix" is a special neurotransmitter I invented that you can only absorb by touching and doting on Beatrice. If a Natsuki family male doesn't get his dose, he shrivels up and dies. The only documented samples are me and dear old Dad.
Anyway, while I'm goofing around with my sister, the ironic thing is that I actually start to wake up.
"Grr, damn it… Was this Bea's scheme all along? Using her own cute body as bait to separate me from my drowsiness in a diversionary tactic… I've been had…"
"I-I don't even know what's going on anymore, but let go already! My hair and clothes are all a mess now!"
"Don't worry. Even a mess can't diminish your charm. There's a beauty in the mess. A messy Bea."
"Stop being so loud!!"
An annoyed Beatrice hops off the bed and sticks her tongue out at me cutely. As I scratch my head over my little sister's tantrum, I sit up and tilt my head in confusion.
The reason is the clock. More precisely, the time it's pointing to.
It says— "Come on, Bea. You woke me up a full hour earlier than usual. What a scatterbrain. Come on, let's keep sleeping!"
"Don't spread your arms like that! I'll want to jump in! No, listen — I have a reason for waking you up early this morning. Is that clear?"
"Is that clear…"
"Starting this morning, Betty has a meeting for the field trip planning committee. So I need to eat breakfast earlier than usual and get to school looking sharp."
"I see, and I get dragged along for that… Why do I have to?!"
I protest against Beatrice's explanation, which has ruined my naptime.
No matter how cute my little sister is, there are things that are and aren't okay. I'm firmly committed to opposing such selfish thinking.
"The grudge I hold for having my sleep interrupted runs deep! What kind of logic can you use to defeat me? Come on, tell me, Bea! Why did you wake your big brother?!"
"Because… if Betty gets up early all by herself, I can't say good morning to Subaru, can't say 'I'm off,' and can't eat breakfast together, and that makes me lonely…"
"Damn! That's adorable!"
In the end, a siscon simply doesn't have the power to reject his little sister's adorable wishes!
To answer Beatrice's earnest feelings, I spring out of bed. My eyes are clear now, and going back to sleep at this point would feel wrong anyway.
It's a brother's duty to grant his cute little sister's requests— "Alright, if that's settled, then help me get changed, Bea."
"Do it yourself!"
Even she wouldn't go that far.
Anyway, since it feels like there's been a mysterious hiatus for a while, it's important to properly deliver the promised bit.
"Then, I'll be taking Beatrice-chan with me!"
"You're taking me."
Despite the early hour, Petra leaves behind a radiant smile and heads off to school with Beatrice in tow, having come to pick her up.
The two of them are inseparable, and apparently they're both on the field trip planning committee as well. They can barely hide their excitement at the novelty of going to school at an unusual time.
As her brother, I'm a little worried about my sister, who has high all-around parameters but occasionally shows some clumsiness — but Petra fills that gap perfectly. As a duo, they could probably conquer the world.
"I'm a bit lonely, but seeing my sister off on her big day with a smile is a brother's duty… If my oshi can make it to Budokan, I could die happy…"
"Hey now, don't go talking like you're already dead, son. Sure, our daughter's a lovely girl who could hold center stage at Budokan, but Papa's not giving permission for at least another five years."
I see my sister off at the front door, on the verge of tears, and Dad speaks up behind me. Dad's the half-naked type, but on days when Petra and other visitors come by, he at least wears clothes.
His T-shirt has Beatrice's smiling face printed on it — a piece of clothing that lets you feel his adorable daughter's presence even on days when she's left early.
"Don't worry. The back of mine has your smiling face from when you were little printed on it."
"I'm not worried about that. Just be mindful of the distance with your teenage son. Forget Bea — at this age, who knows what could trigger a family breakdown with a boy like you."
"Don't say such scary things. Sure, the face on my back is from your elementary school days, but I love you just the same now that you're a high schooler. You know that, right?"
"You say it once a day, so yeah."
Saying "I love you" and "I like you" to the people you love once a day — that's our family motto.
I respect Dad for cherishing it, but as a teenage boy, it's admittedly a tough motto to live by.
"Though saying it to Bea or Mom doesn't really embarrass me. Maybe it's about day-to-day conduct?"
"Tch, how un-cute. Anyway, Beatrice left early, but what about you? You've got plenty of time — want to wrestle with me until
"Wrestling with Dad first thing in the morning — when did I become a sumo wrestler? That said, I guess spacing out here isn't great either… Alright."
I hate to follow his lead, but I also don't want to waste time on something as pointless as wrestling with Dad. So I slip on my shoes at the entrance.
A rare early wake-up, a rare morning. Might as well make it a morning stroll.
"They say the early bird gets the worm — maybe something good will happen."
"Hmm, a stroll? Hang on, let me get changed."
"I'm not going with you, Dad! I'm going alone! Go be lovey-dovey with Mom!"
"Oh. Right. Sorry about that. I feel like I'm burdening you."
"Don't act like leaving the parents alone is some kind of burden! Stop making moves like you're pushing a shy classmate toward romance!"
After that uneasy exchange, I trudge out the house.
Somehow, it was a conversation that made it hard to come right back. Our parents have been married for about twenty years, but they're still as passionate as newlyweds, which makes them tricky for their son and daughter to handle. Of course, having parents who get along great is a blessing.
"A house full of fun with no fights to speak of — sure, stories about conflict forging bonds exist, but smooth sailing is always preferable."
Worries, unhappiness, obstacles — there's no reason any of them shouldn't be fewer.
So the Natsuki household is a thoroughly ordinary middle-class family, but with good family relations and an adorable little sister, we're more than blessed — a hundred percent fortunate.
"Born into a miracle of an era, giving a thumbs-up with everything I am, the sunshine blazing bright in the sky ahead, don't get in my way, I'm a runaway train."
Oh, before I knew it, I was hyped enough to start rapping.
Sure enough, waking up early really clears the head. Walking through the slightly less crowded streets than usual with the cool morning breeze on my skin is pleasant and— "Ah, good morning, Subaru. What a coincidence running into you here."
"Whoa!?"
Just as I'd unconsciously started skipping, a voice suddenly calls out to me, and I nearly jump out of my skin.
Of course I'm shaken — there's a real possibility that person just heard my rap, and to make matters worse, the voice is like a beautiful silver bell.
Only one person in all of history has a voice like that.
"Emi-
"Hehe. I get that you're surprised, but 'alive' is a bit much. Even when Subaru isn't looking, I'm still carrying on with my life, you know."
"Th-that's true. Ha ha, heh, I was so surprised, fufu…"
Damn it, this unexpected encounter has me laughing like a creep.
But ignoring my moment of self-reflection, the girl before me — transfer student Emilia — gazed at me with gentle eyes and smiled like an angel.
She's a captivating girl with long, beautiful silver hair like moonlight and long, slender limbs.
As a new transfer student, she doesn't have her uniform yet, so she wears her old academy's uniform at school, but right now she's in something different.
A thin shirt and a softly flaring skirt — she's in casual clothes.
"Wow, your casual outfit is so cute…"
"Hm? Really? Thanks. Subaru, your casual clothes are also… hmm…"
"Oh, this? This is My Sweet Lovely Sister Beatrice. Isn't it cute? This is the face she makes first thing in the morning with her bedhead…"
I tilt my head and proudly show off my T-shirt in front of Emilia.
Unlike Dad's version, mine has Beatrice's face printed on both the front and the back. I appreciate Dad's sentiment, but mixing an impure element like me into the experience of doting on Beatrice just feels wrong.
"Oh my, your sister? She's so, so adorable!"
"Oh yeah, you get it? She really is the cutest sister. She's been a little rebellious lately, but back in the day she'd follow me everywhere going 'Nii-cha, Nii-cha'… Not to brag, but I basically raised Bea."
"Huh?! What were your parents doing?!"
"They contributed too, of course, but if you combine their efforts, I'd say it's 7-3 in my favor."
"Wow, Subaru, you must be so hardworking…"
It's my usual brand of light banter, but Emilia takes everything at face value so readily that my tongue just keeps going. Anyway, my initial shock has faded, and I'm starting to savor the joy of unexpectedly encountering a beautiful transfer student.
"Still, what were you up to, Emilia-tan? You're out awfully early?"
"Hmm? I was on a walk. See, I just moved here for the transfer, so I don't know the area at all. I need to study it for
"Heh, so dedicated… Wait, Puck?"
"Yes, Puck. He's a cat I have at home… Look, he's right over there."
Following Emilia's gesture, I spot a gray ball of fur curled up on top of a brick wall a short distance away, its long tail swishing lazily.
Looking more closely, it's clearly a cat.
When the cat notices my gaze, it turns its round, glassy eyes toward me and— "Yo."
"Wha—?!"
"What—what's wrong?! Why did you suddenly yell like that—"
Beside me, Emilia is startled by my reaction.
But I'm the one in trouble, because that cat just— "Talked to me, right? It waved at me and said 'Yo'…"
"That can't be. Come on, don't start that. Even if you're trying to tease me, I'm not falling for it."
But when I try to confirm what I heard, Emilia doesn't buy it for a second. No — her reaction was actually the normal one. If Emilia had said something like, "Oh yeah, Puck talks! Isn't that amazing?" I'd have been at a loss for how to handle that.
"Well, I probably just misheard or imagined it. Phew, that startled me."
"Exactly. Let's just go with that. You wouldn't want Riia to be scared or to be thought of as weird, right, Subaru?"
"Don't talk to me so casually out of the blue, you!"
The cat — Puck — has climbed down from the wall and is curled up at my feet, chatting away like it's the most natural thing in the world. Its sheer audacity as a non-human creature blows my mind, and I pick Puck up.
*Paf.* Puck's paw pad presses against my face. What incredible fluffiness.
"For the record, I don't have any special ability to talk to animals. In other words, the weird one here isn't me — it's you."
"Sure, if Subaru wants to claim that, I'm not going to stop you, but you're the one who'll be looked at weirdly if you keep it up. Here, take a look."
At Puck's words, I glance to the side. Emilia is staring wide-eyed, looking back and forth between me and Puck as we glare at each other up close.
"It really does look like Subaru and Puck are having a conversation. And Puck's never this calm when a stranger holds him — this is unusual."
"Is that so? By the way, what did it look like to you, Emilia-tan?"
"Hmm? Puck was going 'Nya nya' cutely, and Subaru had this mean look on his face while saying something…"
"My image is terrible! Wait, seriously, is that what happened…?"
Judging from Emilia's reaction, it really does seem like no one else can hear Puck's voice but me. As I panic over this, Puck slips from my grasp and lands gracefully on the ground.
Then, washing its face with its paw, it says: "Don't worry, this isn't going to kick off some strange story. I'm not going to turn you into a magical girl or grant your wishes or start rambling about the entropy of the universe or anything, so relax and enter into a contract with me."
"I'm not entering any contract! The word 'contract' is about as far from 'relax' as you can get!"
"Just joking, just joking."
Puck chuckles and hops up into Emilia's chest. Emilia catches the cat and strokes its back.
"Still, I'm glad Puck and Subaru are getting along. I was a little worried."
"Worried? Why?"
"Because Puck doesn't really get along with my other friends… Ah, Subaru, is it okay if we're friends? I'm not being too forward?"
"No no no, not at all! Not at all! I'd be honored to be your number one friend. I'd even like to aim for a promotion from that friend position eventually."
"Sorry, I have no idea what you're saying."
When my tongue gets going, I can't help saying extra stuff — it's a bad habit of mine.
Anyway, meeting Emilia like this must be some kind of fate— "Since you were out for a walk anyway, mind if I tag along? We're both heading to the same school in the end, so why not call it a date?"
"A d-date… Going out with a boy! You're right!"
"Oh — could this be your first time?"
Seeing Emilia's eyes light up, I remember she grew up at an all-girls school from kindergarten through high school.
If she's been a sheltered girl her whole life, she probably never had the chance to go out with a boy. In that case— "It's my first da-date… What do I do?"
"Hold on! If it's Emilia-tan's first date, I want to do it properly! At the very least, this T-shirt with a girl's face printed on the front, back, and armpits isn't appropriate!"
"A hidden Beatrice-chan under the armpits…!"
Originally, if I'm going to get serious about a date, I'm the type who wants to do it right.
If this is going to be etched into our memories, I want the stage set perfectly.
"When I think about it calmly, I don't really have date experience either…"
"Really? But Subaru, you seem to get along with everyone in class…"
"Well, just going out with a girl isn't that rare. I go shopping with Rem, my childhood friend, all the time, and I get dragged along on errands by
But counting those outings with a childhood friend as "dates" would be too sad, wouldn't it?
Of course, I've also gone shopping with Crusch,
"Your outside doesn't match your inside, huh. Yeah, yeah, I get it. That's totally the vibe you give off."
"You're a cat, so pipe down! Don't read my heart without permission!"
I yell at Puck, who's purring away in Emilia's arms. But Puck plays innocent, and Emilia gives me a puzzled look. Dammit.
"Fine! Whatever! Today's walk is NOT a date. It's a walking-date… Yeah, it's in a separate category from a date. That's how we'll do it."
"I don't really get it, but if that works, then sure. So, what should we do?"
"Hmm, let's see. Emilia-tan, you're basically trying to get a handle on the geography around your house while picking out Puck's walking route, right?"
Thinking about it calmly, cats aren't really the type you walk on a leash like dogs, but she doesn't seem to have any doubts about it, so I won't push the issue.
The question is what kind of route to recommend— "For my part, I'd like somewhere with a good view where the breeze feels nice. I'm not big on exercise, so somewhere without too many hills would be appreciated… Also, I haven't formally introduced myself to the stray cats in the area yet according to cat protocol. So if you could avoid the territory of the boss cat, that would be great."
"You're awfully specific with your demands… Though I guess I appreciate that."
"Right? When someone says 'Anywhere is fine' on a date, it's a real headache."
Despite Puck's know-it-all tone, stricter selection criteria do make it easier to narrow down options.
So, the route I chose for my walking-date with Emilia was— "Alright, then let's go along the riverbank. There's a huge river flowing right next to it, so the view is spectacular and it feels great."
△▼△▼△▼△ And so, with that pitch, we arrived at our town's riverbank.
This riverside promenade, with a famous large river flowing right beside it, is a popular spot for New Year's Day sunrise viewing on holidays, and on weekdays it's known as a jogging course for exercise-enthusiastic youth and elderly residents.
Of course, plenty of people visit the riverbank for the same reason we do, and here and there you can see dog owners chatting cheerfully.
You can see them — but— "As expected, there aren't any cat owners around…"
"Cats hate collars and leashes, so that's probably why… But Puck does come wake me up saying he wants to go for a walk."
"Heh, really?"
"Yep. Because a new day doesn't feel like a new day unless I'm with Riia."
The purpose may be a pet walk, but the details reveal very different types of owners, and even Emilia, still carrying Puck, has a troubled expression.
Emilia's reasoning sounds like nothing more than an overly doting owner's selfishness, but based on Puck's actual comments, it doesn't seem to be one-sided. My prejudice that most cats in the world consider their owners to be servants was apparently wrong.
"Speaking of which, you've been carrying Puck this whole walk."
"Hmm? Yeah, Puck doesn't like walking, so I always carry him. But when he gets really, really chubby, I make sure to give him proper exercise."
"Is that so? I had this preconception that once an animal's body shape gets out of whack, it never goes back to normal. But you can do that kind of RiseUp thing?"
"Well, it's the fruit of effort."
"The chub was the fruit of laziness, though…"
My shoulders droop at Puck's smug expression.
Well, he's slim now, and he clearly has no intention of leaving Emilia's arms. As long as Emilia doesn't mind the weight, I've got no complaints.
"But isn't it tiring to carry a full-grown cat all the time? Puck may be on the smaller side…"
"It's fine. I'm actually kind of strong, believe it or not. Back at my old school, whenever there was heavy lifting, everyone would come ask me for help."
"The standards of girls at an all-ladies' academy calling you 'strong'…"
Her thin, white arms aren't really selling the strong-girl image, and her upper arms look soft, so it's not very convincing. For the record, I'm also pretty confident about being impressive once you strip down.
For issues like this, most of it comes down to an inability to objectively see oneself, so I'd say Emilia and I are pretty evenly matched.
Anyway, while we're chatting like this— "Hey, Subaru, what's up?"
I'm startled by a voice I know extremely well.
No need to turn around to confirm. For me, this is the voice of someone as familiar as family — or even more so.
"Huh? Rem? What are you doing here?"
"I came along to accompany my sister this morning. But I never expected to run into Subaru-kun… As expected, my sister's divine protection is extraordinary."
"You don't have to treat her like a shrine goddess — Ram is just your sister."
I give Rem a wry smile at her usual deadpan and respond.
In that familiar manner, standing on the riverbank was Rem in a lovely casual outfit. She visits on her days off often enough that the novelty has worn off, but adding the weekday-morning element suddenly makes her look radiant. Mm, the weekday effect.
"Hey hey, Subaru. That girl is from your class, right?"
"Hmm? Ah, yeah, yeah. This is Rem. My capable childhood friend who's great at everything."
I poke Emilia on the back, realizing I'd left her out, then step to the side and introduce Rem.
Then— "As Subaru-kun knows, my name is Rem. We've known each other since we were dunked in the same tub."
"Liar. The one who was dunked in the same tub as you was my sister."
"Oh, that's right. I meant swaddled in the same blanket."
"That was also my sister."
Well, I wouldn't remember since I was barely conscious right after being born, but Rem and I were born about two months apart, so that wouldn't have happened.
"Ah, thank you for the lovely introduction. I'm Emilia. And this is Puck, the gray cat."
"That self-introduction sounds like a delivery service…"
"Wow, what a cute cat! May I pet him?"
"Of course. Here, Puck, show your belly."
"You're so demanding, nya."
Puck rolls over belly-up without much resistance, and Emilia and Rem play together with gleeful giggles. I watch them, arms crossed, and tilt my head.
"Rem, you mentioned earlier that you were accompanying your sister. But why the riverbank? What does this have to do with Ram?"
"That's because my sister is training."
"Training?"
"Yes."
Rem answers while tickling Puck's belly with her finger, smiling proudly.
Whenever Rem shows off like this, it's always about Ram or about me. I can take it when it's about Ram, but having someone brag about me to others is embarrassing — though I do the same when talking about Rem to people, so I guess it's fair.
"Rem, your older sister — she's Ram from my class, right?"
"Yes. She's an amazing sister who's more than Rem deserves."
"Just so you know, Rem's favoritism toward her sister is basically a chronic condition, so take everything with a grain of salt."
"Muu, that's not true at all."
Rem puffs out her cheeks and turns away with a huff. Turning her face away like that, she begins telling us about Ram.
"As Subaru-kun knows, my sister's extraordinary athletic ability means she gets asked to be a substitute for various club activities…"
"Yeah, I've seen her. She's always going all-out in different clubs. The fact that she can keep up even surrounded by guys — that's pure talent…"
Whatever Ram does, she improves at it with eerie speed. But especially in skills-based sports, she's outstandingly good at everything.
So Rem's enthusiastic praise isn't actually exaggerated.
"So what happened with Ram, this amazing girl?"
"Well. Because she's so reliable, she was asked again to be a substitute for a certain club… She decided she wanted to take it seriously, so she started training in the mornings."
"Ram?! Being that earnest?!"
I'm genuinely floored. This is completely out of left field.
Ram, who's always come across as someone coasting on innate talent, is basically arrogant, overconfident, and has always delivered results to match.
So I assumed she had nothing to do with actual effort.
"And besides, isn't she busy looking after that novelist Roswaal right now? She shouldn't be going out of her way to burn the candle at both ends…"
"That's a separate matter. She's been working hard on this too. So I wanted to support her feelings, which is why I've prepared all of this."
"Wow, impressive. And that's why we've got this picnic setup going on?"
Behind Rem are picnic baskets and thermoses laid out on a leisure sheet, along with a first-aid kit for emergencies, a towel set, and other essentials.
Being meticulously prepared at all times is Rem's virtue, but her tendency to overthink and prepare unnecessary extras is her one flaw.
"Well, I'm sure Ram's grateful for all this… But what kind of substitute gig would require her to go this far?"
"The girls' judo team."
"The girls' judo team… I didn't even know our school had one."
Listening to Rem's explanation, I can't picture the girls' judo team at all.
Lugunica Academy is a fairly active school when it comes to club activities, and we often put up decent results at the prefectural championships.
So for any well-known club, I'd normally have at least heard of them.
"Our own handicrafts club and home economics club are regulars at the national tournament, after all."
"Oh, really? That's amazing… Wait! The handicrafts club and home economics club are at nationals?!"
"You're surprised? Let me tell you, around here we're basically a sports-oriented… you could even say a cultural sports club. They race to see who can do running stitches the fastest, compete on how many needles they can thread within a time limit, and there's also precision in setting up sewing machines…"
When you push the competitive aspect, handicrafts turns out to have surprising depth.
By the way, at the national tournament, it's usually the handicrafts club and home economics club competing against each other, and they tend to knock each other out.
We chalk that up to the coaching battle between our advisors, Frederica-sensei and
"Anyway, the most famous club at our school is the light music club led by Liliana-chan. They even go on national tours — they're a pretty big deal in the indie scene."
"That doesn't sound like a club activity at all!"
"Lugunica Academy is pretty lax about those things, so it's allowed. Apparently, Liliana-sensei's passion won over Principal Wilhelm."
"A legendary face-to-face negotiation where Liliana-chan's teeth guitar pierced Wilhelm-principal's heart… I wish I'd been there to see it."
Despite appearances, Liliana-chan and the principal share a passionate devotion to the things they love, so their compatibility is actually quite good.
Apparently, Liliana-chan's song "Sword Devil Love Ballad," inspired by the principal's love stories, is a huge hit in the light music club's setlist, and the jacket even features a photo of the principal and his wife.
"But anyway, enough about Liliana-chan — I get the judo team substitute thing, but why is Ram training?"
"Well, you see…"
"——Why are you so eager to know every little thing about Ram's movements? What a pervert."
"Wha—gyah?!"
A cold voice suddenly flies in from behind, and I practically leap into the air.
Cutting off Rem's answer and clawing directly at my eardrums is Ram — also my childhood friend. In a hoodie and jogging shoes, she's lightly out of breath as she glares at me with those rose-colored eyes.
"So, what is Barusu doing here? Don't tell me you tracked down the fact that Ram is training and came specifically to taunt her?"
"I wouldn't waste my time on that. As you know, I'm the type who wants to squeeze out every last second of sleep. That's why I chose the school closest to home."
"That's why you chose that school, and why Ram had no choice but to go there too… Sigh. So thoughtless."
Ram puts her hand to her forehead and brushes away beads of sweat with her finger, sighing.
Behind this exchange between Ram and me, I hear Emilia whispering to Rem.
"Hey, why did Ram have to go to the same school Subaru picked?"
"That's simple. Because Rem decided she'd go wherever Subaru-kun went. And Rem wanted to go to the same school as her sister, so she asked her sister to do the same."
"I see. …Wait, so it was Rem's selfishness?"
"Yes. Big sister was too kind to listen to Rem's selfish request."
Rem's cheeks flush slightly as she savors the feeling of being loved by her sister.
As our conversation makes clear, while Ram may come across as the domineering one, in terms of actual power dynamics, Rem is overwhelmingly in the upper hand in this sister relationship.
Of course, Rem's respect for Ram is genuine — Rem would never try to use her sister for her own convenience. She's just very, very good at being spoiled.
"Well, whatever makes Rem who she is — I'm surprised she's actually putting in the work to break a sweat like this. Is Roswaal doing a feature on the girls' judo team or something?"
"Can you please stop connecting everything back to romance? Your hormones are showing."
"Hormones is going too far!!"
I fire back at Rem's sharp words, but she dismisses me with her usual "Hah!" through her nose. Without the Roswaal connection, though, I'm at a loss.
I never imagined Ram would go all-out for anything other than Roswaal and Rem.
"The girls' judo team has very few members, and when the third-years retire after the next tournament, they won't be able to maintain the club. So my sister wants to step in as a substitute and deliver proper results for them."
"I see. Ram, you're really so kind…"
"————"
Rem's explanation resolves my疑惑, and Emilia clasps her hands together while Puck, sprawled on the ground, nods approvingly.
I'm convinced too. Despite appearances, Ram treats everyone with cold indifference, but she actually has a deeply caring side.
"…What's with that look?"
"No reason? Just thinking that Big Sister is surprisingly kind, that's all. Ouch!!"
A low kick slams mercilessly into the back of my knee!
I drop to my knee, and Ram, who launched the kick from a perfect stance, pulls her foot back.
"It was a practice sweep. Seems like it's working."
"If you actually land a sweep like that, the judo team will get banned from the premises on the spot!"
"Don't worry. After this tournament, the girls' judo team is disbanding. No lingering grudges either."
"Even if it's embarrassment, that's some harsh talk!"
Shaking my head at Ram's attitude — too proud to even accept being called kind — I rock my knee and stand up. Good, the leg still works.
There was that one time I got kicked by Ram too much after running my mouth, and my leg swelled up purple-red until I couldn't stand.
"That time, I said I got caught by an anaconda in the garden…"
"Even by your standards, anaconda is a stretch, right? That's not really something you encounter in a garden."
"How am I going to tell people I got kicked so much by a childhood friend that I can't stand?"
Being lectured on common sense by a cat — I've really hit rock bottom.
For the record, Rem, who knew the truth, desperately told everyone the next day that "An anaconda did it! Not Big Sister!", so my protests were in vain.
"So? Setting aside Rem, who's accompanying her, what brings the chronic oversleeper Barusu here at this hour? And you've got a cute transfer student with you too… How perverted."
"Don't jump to conclusions! I got up early because I was hanging out with Bea, and I just happened to run into Emilia-tan! Suspicious thinking!"
"Annoying."
"Snake Fist?!"
Ram's comeback to my retort is a move from a Chinese martial art called Snake Fist — a terrifying killing technique modeled after the movements of a serpent. Why she's learned it remains a mystery.
"Subaru's telling the truth. We just happened to run into each other while walking in the neighborhood. It was a coincidence."
"Let me warn you — are you sure that was really a coincidence?"
"Huh? You don't mean… It's really a duel…?"
"Don't say unnecessary things, sister! And you're still hung up on yesterday!"
Putting Ram's suspicion aside, Emilia's interpretation is completely wrong.
As for how Emilia got the wrong idea — thinking I was picking a fight on purpose after giving her a school tour after class — please refer to "Academy Re:Zero! Period 2!" for details. Anyway— "Sorry, we've been chatting a while, but I'm in the middle of showing Emilia-tan around town. You and Rem look busy, so we should get going."
"Yeah. As much as I'd like to stay…"
"Ah… Is that so. It's a shame to say goodbye to Puck-chan too."
Rem looks disappointed, her brows drooping slightly, as we prepare to leave. Ram feels the same way, but honestly, Rem's sad face is my weakness. Just as I'm racking my brain for a solution, faster than I can come up with one, Ram lets her shoulders drop.
"Rem, go with Barusu and the others. Ram will be fine on her own."
"But… that's not fair to you, sister. You have so many things to carry…"
"They were prepared by Rem for Ram's sake. I won't waste a single one, nor will I consider it a burden. —You can make that guy carry it."
"Huh!?"
Ram gently strokes the cheek of the flustered Rem, then points down the road. Walking toward us in a tracksuit is Otto, looking absolutely bewildered.
It seems Otto was also out for a morning jog, and at the sudden nomination, his eyes go wide and his expression crumbles.
"Um, what have I suddenly been dragged into? And why are all you non-sports-club people on the jogging course at this hour?"
"Don't worry about the details, Otto. You're in charge of the bags."
"Whaaat?!"
"Thank you, Otto-kun. Please make sure my sister drinks warm tea regularly so she doesn't get cold. I'm counting on you."
"Hey?!"
"I don't really know what's going on, but Otto-kun, you're being relied on a lot. I think that's really admirable, so do your best!"
"Even the transfer student?!?"
Otto flails in a panic, but we don't explain anything and just shuffle away.
Sorry, Otto. You were born under that star. I know being in Big Sister's company is tough, but that's what you get for walking by at the wrong time.
"Isn't this just far too unreasonable?!"
"Stop making a scene and get ready. A man whining and carrying on… That's no good."
"Don't order me around if you're the one making me carry your stuff!"
Behind us, the absolute power imbalance between oppressor and oppressed is on full display.
Resistance is futile, so Otto might as well give up and accept his fate. Still— "You'd think the ace of the soccer team would get more respect than that…"
For the record, Otto is genuinely just the ace striker of the soccer team — not a substitute or anything — though he has absolutely zero aura of one.
△▼△▼△▼△ "Still, it's amazing how many people I keep running into on an early morning like this…"
"When you think about it, these early morning hours we don't usually wake up for are like treasure chests. You feel glad you got up, and it's so much fun."
"Emilia-san is so positive. Rem thinks it's wonderful too."
"Nya-nya."
Having handed Ram's care over to Otto, the three of us and one cat resume our walk.
Along the way, we exchange nods and greetings with people passing by, savoring the joy of sharing a fresh morning.
Fortunately, Emilia isn't the shy type, and she's surprisingly getting along with Rem, whose personality is quite strong. The one keeping things from getting too intense between them is Puck, being bounced back and forth.
"So cute… How old is Puck-chan?"
"Um… that's the thing, I don't really know. Puck has just been by my side for as long as I can remember… At least ten years, I think."
"Ten years for a cat — that makes you a pretty old guy, huh."
"Well, I understand the impulse to convert to human years, but let's just think of me as some kind of supernatural cat and keep my age under wraps, yeah."
"That's not fooling anyone."
Being casually called a supernatural cat is a bit much to process.
Still, the fact that I'm the only one who can hear him talk does lend some credibility to the supernatural cat theory… Or maybe I'm the one who's gone crazy.
"Waking up every morning to Bea's hip attack might have triggered some kind of awakening… These days, getting hit by a truck and reincarnating to gain power is all the rage, but awakening through catching your little sister's butt repeatedly isn't just unconventional — it's too avant-garde to be accepted."
And so begins "Bea Butt Wars," where everyone fights to the death for the sake of the butt that contributed to her brother's awakening.
"Wait, Bea's butt… Bea's butt is splitting into two…!"
"Subaru seems to be saying something weird…"
"Don't worry. When it comes to his little sister Beatrice-chan, Subaru has a tendency to overthink things a bit. But that's just Subaru being a wonderful, doting brother. It shows how much he cherishes his sister."
"I wouldn't dote on someone else's little sister like that. And Rem is precious to me for completely separate reasons…"
"Ha, you really said 'precious for life'… How embarrassing…"
"I didn't say that! I didn't say that!"
Rem's cheeks flush and she's about to take off, so I wave my hand dismissively.
While chatting like this, we're about to nod to another dog-walking couple we pass — when I realize the dog's owner is someone I know.
"
"…Crap, spotted."
"Crap" is quite the greeting, but the one who makes a deeply annoyed face at me is my classmate, the Cinderella Girl, Felt.
Not that she's an idol or aspiring to be one — Felt gets the "Cinderella Girl" treatment (self-declared) because she's being pursued by a prince.
That prince is the handsome young man standing beside Felt —
The finest-looking guy in school, in town, maybe even in the prefecture — a perfect superman excelling in both academics and athletics — Reinhard is somehow head over heels for Felt. And Felt seems genuinely annoyed by Reinhard's relentless pursuit— "A secret date this early in the morning. Could it be that your whole act at school has been a cover—"
"Shut it! I knew you'd say that, which is why I didn't want to say anything! I'm only here because of Romie!"
"Romie…"
I glance over and spot the dog connected to the red leash in Felt's hand, barking.
It's a pretty large dog — the kind of powerful animal that might drag the petite Felt around, but Reinhard seems to have it under control.
Or rather, what is the relationship between this dog and Reinhard?
"Good morning. You two are classmates too, right? Reinhard and his buddy Felt…"
"We're not buddies! And you — even the transfer student looks at me like that?! Argh, dammit, I'm not kidding!"
Felt ruffles her own hair roughly, irritated by Emilia's words.
Emilia looks surprised by Felt's overreaction, but Reinhard gives a wry smile and says "Sorry."
"Don't let her scare you. Felt seems a bit on edge this morning. She's always like this when I'm around, but she's actually a much kinder person. I'd be grateful if you didn't misunderstand."
"Are you my mother or something?! What kind of look are you giving me?!"
"Hm, I see. It's fine. I can tell, because the doggy is so fond of her."
Emilia casually ignores Felt's protests and points to Romie, who's rubbing against Felt's legs, smiling.
The truth is, despite her sharp tongue, Felt is actually caring and capable. Her rough-and-tumble personality contrasts with her cute appearance, and she's surprisingly popular with the boys. Of course, most of those boys give up the moment they learn Reinhard is in the running.
It's like playing rock-paper-scissors against a nuclear bomb. In other words, pointless.
"But how does this Romie-chan connect to the two of you?"
"Originally, Romie was a stray. When we found him, Felt and I were walking home together… We couldn't decide what to do about him."
"…My place doesn't have room for a dog, so I told him to keep it. Then this guy said he'd take care of it but leaves everything to me."
"So I walk Romie in the morning like this, and on holidays we take him out to play. That way, Felt shares the responsibility."
"Heh…"
I see — they found the stray together, Reinhard took it in, and Felt helps with its care. That's why we ran into them on this morning walk.
It sounds like a heartwarming episode, but— "Felt, I feel like you're getting slowly dragged in without realizing it…"
"Don't say it. I'm vaguely aware of it…"
Felt has been rejecting Reinhard's passionate advances so far, but between the mere exposure effect and everything else, it's obvious to everyone that she's gradually losing the ability to refuse.
If this keeps up, her surrender is just a matter of time — to me, it's already in the countdown phase.
"Recently, Felt's been coming over to my place, so Grandma is happy to have someone to cook for. Your feedback is straightforward and honest."
"If something tastes bad, I'll say it tastes bad. The only reason I've never told Grandma's food tasted bad is because her cooking actually IS good. …Honestly, if it weren't for you, I'd hang out at your place all the time."
"That's… a bit of a mixed compliment."
Felt says it with genuine feeling, but even Reinhard can only smile wryly at that.
I'd put it more harshly, but Reinhard doesn't seem bothered — the man has a heart of steel. At his level, rejection probably just rolls off him.
"Just knowing I'm getting any kind of reaction from Felt makes me surprisingly happy. I didn't even know I was capable of feeling like this."
"Well, they say love is blind. If you've been walking with your eyes closed all this time, it'd make sense that things feel different when you actually open them."
"…Hmm. An interesting perspective. I think I'll adopt that."
It was just an off-the-cuff remark, but when someone genuinely takes it to heart like that, it makes me feel like I said something profound, which is strange.
"Anyway! I'm only here for Romie's sake, stuck with this guy. Don't get it wrong. And don't go spreading it at school!"
"Yeah, yeah. My lips are sealed."
"I'm serious — no emails or LINE messages either!"
"Tch, she's sharp."
After Felt's warning, I reluctantly pull out the phone I'd been hiding behind my back. I was planning to secretly share this with everyone in class, but I guess this can't be helped.
"See you at school later."
"Don't you dare spread it!"
I part ways with Reinhard, who waves cheerfully, and Felt, who remains suspicious to the last.
Given how things are going, the day Reinhard's efforts bear fruit doesn't feel far off.
"Why does that make me feel a little lonely…"
"Like a friend being taken by a girl?"
"Or maybe because Subaru-kun is going to lose his bet on how long Felt can keep running from Reinhard's advances."
"Five points to Rem."
"Yes! I'll make a note."
"Hey! What, what! No fair, no fair!"
Seeing Rem diligently scribbling something in a notebook, Emilia panics. But it was just an impulsive, meaningless point system — there's nothing to accumulate.
And even if I did accumulate points, what would I even get? I don't remember ever agreeing to this.
"With this, Subaru-kun's total points have surpassed two hundred thousand. There's a real sense of accomplishment."
"I never racked up that many points!?"
"Wow, what an aged notebook… What happens when you save up points?"
"I'm not sure. But Rem keeps her heart fluttering, wondering if someday Subaru-kun will surprise her with something in return for all those points."
"The pressure is immense. I wish you'd said something when I was still at, like, a hundred points."
Two hundred thousand points — even at five points a pop, that's forty thousand rounds of the game. How long has this been going on?
And what could I possibly do to repay two hundred thousand points?
"How about this — spend ten points and I'll pat your head?"
"Then you'd need to pat me twenty thousand times."
"My neck would snap!"
I promise to make Rem a proper point-redeeming chart later to get her off my back. But honestly, if we're going by my standards, I have no idea what I'd need to do for Emilia to give me high points.
"For example, Emilia-tan, what would you want me to do to make you happy?"
"Me? Hmm, let me think… Oh, if we could go for walks together like today, that would make me really happy. It would be so much fun. Waking up early wouldn't feel hard anymore."
"E-M-T…"
"Huh? What's wrong all of a sudden?"
"I don't know. Something warm just overflowed from my lips."
It's because Emilia-tan basically said something so angelic it was unreal.
It wasn't the most useful data point, but hearing that from a girl is incredibly gratifying as a teenage boy.
"By the way, what about morning walks, Rem?"
"I'm very happy about it. But watching Subaru-kun sleep in the morning is also a childhood-friend privilege that only Rem has, so it's very difficult to choose between them."
"Who gave you that childhood-friend privilege? God?"
"God."
"Is that so…"
When God himself grants a privilege, there's nothing you can do — a force of nature beyond argument.
Walking along like this, we gradually see ahead of us the magnificent cherry blossom trees lining the riverbank — the blossoms are just starting to open, giving us a stunning view of full pink.
"Wow…"
"Pretty nice, huh? This area is known as a cherry blossom spot, and during hanami, tons of people come out."
"There's also a cherry blossom festival this weekend. If you'd like, we could go together."
"Really?"
Glancing at the frameworks being set up for festival stalls, Emilia looks surprised at Rem's invitation.
Hearing Emilia's reaction, Rem and I exchange glances and nod in unison.
"Of course."
"Did something bad happen? Oh, did you already have plans with someone…?"
"N-no, nothing like that. It's just — I only just transferred here, and the two of you… well, not just you two, but everyone has been so nice to me, and I find it kind of unbelievable."
Emilia's words come out haltingly, a hint of bewilderment in her expression.
Even hearing that, I don't quite get it. I don't think we've done anything that special — and for classmates, isn't this just normal? Add to that the fact that she's a beautiful girl, and it's even more of a no-brainer.
"Isn't this just normal? Right, Rem?"
"And the fact that Subaru-kun can casually do 'normal' things so effortlessly is also wonderful. Rem is impressed."
"But it IS normal?!"
"Pfft."
Rem's trademark reaction unexpectedly makes Emilia burst out laughing. Her body shakes with the urge to laugh as she says "I'm going to die, I'm going to die…"
"…Okay, I understand. I'll let your kindness spoil me. I'd love to go to the festival together."
"That's the spirit!"
I snap my fingers at Emilia's answer and let out a cry of delight.
Waking up early, gaining a small fortune. —Getting something this good out of it made the early rise worthwhile.
△▼△▼△▼△ Thanks to waking up early, I got to make plans to go to the festival with Emilia.
So to sum up this morning: waking up early every once in a while isn't so bad.
That said— "I doubt there's anyone in this class who wouldn't go to the weekend festival."
"It's a gathering of festival lovers. There's no one who wouldn't show their face. Naturally, I fully intend to conquer every food stall."
"The princess has spoken, but as the one dragged along, I'm not thrilled, to be honest. Let me tell you, a grown man's stomach can't keep up with the youngsters."
While saying that, Al flexes the high-performance prosthetic on his left hand with a click-click.
Priscilla, the granddaughter of the Lugunica Academy board chairman, often brings Al along to school like this. Al is a mysterious figure — he has a prosthetic arm, and he covers his head with something different every day.
But if you actually talk to him, he's just a world-weary middle-aged guy, and that gap is part of his appeal.
"Still, must be nice being in the thick of youth from the morning. A cute childhood friend and a beautiful transfer student… If I'd been in a class full of beauties like this back in my student days, I might have tried my luck at a more youthful lifestyle too."
"Yeah, I get the feeling. It took me a while to get used to the sheer concentration of attractive people in this class. Every day felt like I might crumble into dust."
"What nonsense are you spouting? With me alone, you'd be plenty scorched. You might as well turn to ash right now. Well?"
"There's nothing I can do about that."
I stick my tongue out at Priscilla, who waves an absurdly expensive-looking fan and makes her grandiose declarations.
For the record, Priscilla herself makes a massive contribution to the beautiful-girl ratio in our class, so it's hard to argue with her assessment.
I'm not weak enough to say something like "You're not even that pretty" out of spite.
——The morning walk ends, I head home, change into my uniform, and arrive at school.
That might sound like just a brief morning episode, but arriving slightly earlier than usual reveals all sorts of things, just like the morning walk.
For instance, this conversation with Priscilla and Al is one of them.
"I never thought Priscilla would be at school this early."
"The princess is actually surprisingly an early riser. I'm the one who's been remodeled into a morning person because of it. Can barely keep my eyes open for late-night anime."
"But streaming's gotten pretty good now. I watch too — 'Isekai Wanted.'"
"Isekai Wanted" is some kind of crossover anime mashup of various isekai series. Since the original works have different authors, the directing staff must be working under hellish conditions. I'd like to take this opportunity to commend their effort.
Anyway— "The weekend cherry blossom festival… Could this actually be a full-on date with Emilia-tan?"
"Oh, a date, you say?"
"A man and a woman agree to attend some kind of event together… If that's not a date, then what is?! Even if it started from a group hangout, given this morning's events, it's definitely a date! I'm getting fired up…!"
"What a sorry state. First of all, you hang out with that twin sister's younger sister all the time anyway. With that experience, why are you getting worked up now?"
It's kind of hilarious that I'm casually consulting Priscilla about my love life, but her dating credentials are absolutely useless.
"Rem and I have been together since kindergarten, you know? Honestly, we've gone out together so many times I can't even count — it's useless as reference."
"That does sound pretty pathetic. So this is the first time you're actually getting serious and thinking about a date? How adorably innocent."
"Heh heh, right? I can already feel the acid rising in my stomach from nerves."
"Don't you dare throw up in front of me."
She snaps her fan shut and uses its tip to lift my chin. A proper chin-lift — and when she does it, it actually looks elegant.
"Just do your best. In every age, women adore a man's desperate struggle to entertain them. Unless you do something truly terrible, the girl won't think badly of you."
"Adoring a desperate struggle… That sounds like something a villainess would say… Wait, were you actually cheering me on just now?"
If so, this might be an incredibly rare moment — I'm genuinely surprised.
But the instant those words leave my mouth, the temperature in Priscilla's crimson eyes drops noticeably. Uh oh, I open my mouth to apologize for the slip— "What's what? Weren't we just talking about the festival?"
"…You sly fox."
The one who smoothly cuts into our conversation is, once again, the spirited beauty with the Kansai dialect — Anastasia.
At Anastasia's intrusion, Priscilla furrows her brow in displeasure.
The two of them are famously antagonistic in school, so everyone tries to keep them separated like volatile chemicals. But conflicts keep happening anyway — which may ultimately be due to the teachers' personnel decisions putting them in the same class.
But now isn't the time to escape reality. "What's up, Anastasia? You wouldn't normally barge into a conversation with Priscilla."
"Normally I wouldn't, yeah? But when you start talking about a festival, you can't just let that slide, right? Our merchants' association has stalls everywhere, and doing research on the customer base beforehand is useful for market research."
Anastasia answers with a wink. The merchants' association she mentioned is a coalition of independently-owned shops in the area.
Anastasia, who loves business and money more than anything, is involved with the merchants' association, mixing with the adults and running around day and night for regional revitalization. Her business acumen is extraordinary — behind the association's recent steady success lies a Victory Road built by Anastasia's shrewd tactics.
However— "How much of that is actually true is questionable…"
"…What's with that look? Is there something you'd like to say to me?"
The one who squints one eye at my stare is Julius, standing elegantly beside Anastasia. For the record, the Anastasia intel came from Julius — and I have no idea what kind of praise he's been heaping on this adorable cheapskate.
"Lately, fewer young people are coming to the festival, so it's tough for us on the organizing side. We welcome any ideas, big or small. Even something from a high-class princess might help!"
"Still as ill-mannered as ever, I see. Is that how you ask someone for a favor? If you want to hear my opinion, start by properly requesting it. Only then will I consider whether to grace you with an answer."
"Oh, it's fine, no need if you don't want to. My real target is Natsuki-kun here. The princess's opinions are hard to understand and useless for us commoners."
"Placing your own inadequacies on display while deliberately trying to belittle what is noble — I'm truly impressed. Your pettiness is so small you'd need to squint to even see it."
They exchange vicious barbs, and as always, it escalates into a full-blown war.
This time the start wasn't too bad, but why does it always end up like this?
"Ugh, a mystery. Speaking of mysteries, you're a mystery too for not stopping them even though you know they'll fight."
"Hmm. This is my personal opinion, but Anna doesn't hate Priscilla-san per se. They just don't click. I think she recognizes Priscilla's abilities — just as I recognize you, in a certain sense."
"What 'certain sense'? Every sense — you bastard."
There's absolutely no way to take that as a compliment, so naturally I shift into a fighting stance. In the end, Julius and I are parallel lines that will never cross.
And I was foolish enough to think I'd have a normal conversation.
"My, my, I can't laugh at Anna anymore either."
"Who said you could just agree with yourself? Oh, the student council's top two. How about the weekend festival?"
Ignoring the smirking pretty boy, I turn to Crusch and Ferris chatting in the seats in front and behind me.
"Us?" Crusch puts a finger to her chin.
"Naturally, I'll attend the festival. However, as student council president, I have a duty to supervise the students and make sure they don't go too far. So I'm not going purely for fun."
"Aww, that's so lame! It's a festival after all! Granted, it might be a bit early for yukata, but let's get all dressed up!"
"Hmm, you're right. Wearing the same thing to walk under the cherry blossoms in full bloom lacks novelty. And I do want to see Ferris all dressed up under the blossoms. Agreed."
"Heehee. Then I'll prepare outfits for you too, Crusch-sama~."
Ferris is completely smitten, and Crusch is indulging her — but that's just how their relationship works, so the usual lovey-dovey doesn't feel out of place.
In the end, the majority of the class will be attending, no question.
"As for my side, Bea… well, Petra-chan and Meili-chan can look after her. Or Dad's the one who'd be more worried about losing Bea to someone else."
"Huh? You're worried about your dad more than your little sister?"
Emilia, who's just finished her errand at the faculty office, arrives just as I'm voicing my inner thoughts. I nod at her question.
"Basically, my parents — especially my dad — haven't let go at all. He's always trying to keep Bea on a tight leash, so it's hard for me to monopolize her."
"Is that so… Wait, didn't you just say you wanted to monopolize her too?"
"Huh? Well, Bea is my Bea…"
Ideally, I'd want to keep her by my side every second of every day — carry her around in my bag, even. But recently Beatrice has outgrown fitting in bags, and she's built her own relationships, so that level of clinginess isn't possible. Still, I do wish she'd let me have her all to myself sometimes.
"What a lonely brother heart."
"Yeah… Actually, I kind of understand that feeling a little."
"What?! Emilia-tan, you want to eat Bea too?!"
"You wanted to EAT her?!"
Being called out so directly, I'm suddenly not sure what I actually want to do with Bea.
I've heard that cat owners who love their cats too much end up with increasingly incomprehensible ways of showing affection, and I think I might be getting close to that.
"So what did you mean by 'I understand the feeling'?"
"The part about not being able to let go. Actually, my parents also treasured me so, so much… It was, you know, difficult."
"Heh, difficult?"
"Even this morning, when I got home after parting ways with you all, I told them about our walk and it was chaos. 'Next time, bring that Subaru-kun! DEATH!'"
"'DEATH!'?!"
That's quite an aggressive inflection for a parent. But from the soft expression on Emilia's face when she said it, their family must be close.
Same with mine — a good family is a good thing. Sometimes it's annoying, and sometimes I wish they'd knock before barging into my room, but it's a good thing.
"Basically, every complaint about my home life comes from Dad…"
"Oh, that's right. Speaking of which, when I went to the faculty office earlier, Frederica-sensei seemed really frazzled. Something must have happened."
"Huh, really? Frederica-sensei is always running around."
It's mostly because she's in charge of a class full of problem children, but Frederica-sensei tackles problems with the kind of hardworking, passionate energy you'd see in a classic school drama.
Getting chewed out by Clind-sensei is also part of the routine.
"Still, Emilia-tan's transfer yesterday and now this — the events just keep coming."
"But isn't that amazing? Every day is full of fun things."
"Emilia-tan, you're a master at finding happiness."
"Really? Hehe, thanks."
As we're chatting, the bell rings to signal homeroom.
People in the classroom scramble back to their seats, and students from other classes or late arrivals settle in as well.
Once again, the full roster is here, attendance at one hundred percent — our beloved class— "Hm? Why does it seem like there's one extra seat by the window…"
"Alright everyone, I see you're all present."
Before I can voice my confusion, Frederica-sensei opens the door and appears.
She's standing tall and poised as always, but something in her tone of voice seems slightly worn out.
"Frederica-sensei, what happened? You don't look so good."
"…Natsuki-kun, you're quite observant. I was actually trying very hard to hide it, you know."
"Well, I'm right in front of the lectern, and Frederica-sensei is beautiful, so I tend to look at your face — is that not it?"
"————"
At my earnest answer, Frederica-sensei narrows her green eyes and falls silent. Unable to read her reaction, I lean over and whisper to Rem.
"Rem, Rem, did I say something weird?"
"No, nothing comes to mind. It was Subaru-kun as wonderful as always."
"That being the usual is what worries me."
Without being asked, the guy to my left tosses in his two cents. Annoying.
Anyway— "Ahem. Let's move on. Yesterday, Emilia-san joined this class, but actually, today I have another announcement for you all."
"Oh boy, what's with that lead-in? Don't tell me it's a new character drop—"
That's way too last-minute and shameless as a plot device, but I say it anyway for the momentum.
But at my words, Frederica-sensei lets out a deep sigh.
And then— "As it so happens, you're exactly right, Natsuki-kun."
"Wait, that voice…"
Startled by the voice I hear, I turn to see a figure appearing through the front door of the classroom. As she slowly steps forward, I'm struck dumb.
Head to toe in black mourning-gown-like attire, draped in an oddly decadent allure. Her long hair is pure white, as if all color has been bleached from it, and a butterfly hair ornament is strikingly eye-catching.
Yet another impossibly beautiful woman makes her entrance— "
"Thanks for the exposition. As Natsuki-kun so kindly introduced, my name is Echidna. Starting today, I'll be doing my teaching practice at this academy."
"A t-teaching practice student—?!"
Echidna smiles thinly and gives a small bow from the lectern, and we all stir with excitement.
A teaching practice student — someone with a subtly different distance and position from classmates and homeroom teachers, a rare role that adds color to school life.
Teaching practice, required to obtain a teaching certificate — meaning the trainee is technically a student, not a teacher. The unexpected encounter with a woman from a different age group throws the high school boys for a loop.
"I-I can't believe they pulled out a secret weapon like this… When we had tea together the other day, she didn't mention anything at all!"
"I wanted to surprise you, Natsuki-kun. And if I'd told you, you might have let it slip to the other students. Though the real goal was to see your surprised face… You are surprised, right?"
"Well, sure, I'm very surprised…"
I scratch my cheek sheepishly at Echidna's playful expression.
It's been less than a year since the six Echidna sisters moved in next door to my house, and this older woman seems to particularly enjoy messing with younger people. Right now, I'm her favorite target of sweet mischief.
I never expected her to come at me like this — the thoroughness is impressive.
"But still, Emilia-tan yesterday, Echidna-san today — you just keep piling on surprise events, don't you? Frederica-sensei, you're an entertainer!"
"Please stop making it sound like I'm the mastermind. And actually, that's not the end of it."
"Huh?"
Frederica-sensei puts a hand to her head, and I stare blankly, not understanding her words.
But the answer to my confusion comes not from Frederica-sensei, but from directly in front of me.
"————"
*Bang* — the door slams open with force. The same door Echidna entered through. From it emerges a silhouette taller than Echidna.
It's a tall woman with long brown hair tied back in a single tail. Wrapped in a uniform I don't recognize, she strides past the lectern and plants herself in a commanding stance.
—Right in front of me.
"————"
"Um… Who are you?"
She's a striking beauty with green eyes accented by a rare red pattern, brimming with intensity.
With only one button fastened on her uniform top, she shamelessly flaunts a figure whose aggressive visual pull rivals Priscilla's — the scale of it is on another level entirely.
But compared to that overwhelming partner in selfishness, it's this sudden in-your-face approach that concerns me most.
I can't rule out being challenged to a fight on the spot, and I've just seen a real-life example of a beautiful transfer student who agreed to a duel after school, so any absurd development is possible.
I also can't shake the lingering worry from Ram's low kick still affecting my knee.
As I tense up with anxiety, the beautiful woman's lips move.
"—Found you."
"Huh?"
"IT'S MASTERRR!!"
"Oof!!"
Her serious expression flips into a beaming grin as she lunges forward and embraces me head-on. She presses my face into her ample chest and squeezes tight.
"I've been waiting so long for this reunion! You've changed so much, but I knew you right away! Master, Masterrrr!"
"Mgh mgh mgh!"
"Hmm? Can't hear you. But don't worry, it's all good, don't worry! No matter how down and out Master gets, I'll keep loving you forever!"
Pinned by the raw power of her bust, I struggle desperately, but she won't let go. Her grip strength is inhuman — the lock is genuinely unbreakable. If this continues, I'll die. Cause of death: breasts.
"—Please let go! Who are you?! Release Subaru-kun at once! He'll die!"
"Hmm…"
Rescuing me from this heaven-hell situation is Rem, who forcefully grabs my arm and pries the woman away. She holds my right arm tightly while glaring daggers at the woman, who looks displeased.
"What do you want? Don't interfere with my reunion with Master."
"You're the one being way too sudden! Isn't Subaru-kun pitiful enough? Who on earth are you…"
"I'm
"—! Subaru-kun's childhood-friend-position belongs to Rem!"
Suddenly having her status threatened, an angry Rem yanks on my right arm. But the woman — Shaula — pulls my left arm in opposition.
"Gwaaaaah!!"
Two beautiful girls pull me in opposite directions, and both my shoulders immediately scream in protest.
In this moment, my mind flashes to a certain word — the Judgment of Ōoka. The birth mother and the adoptive mother tug at a baby, and the one who lets go out of concern for the child is the true parent…
In other words, the one who's considerate of my body is the one who truly cares for me— "Both of you, stop! You'll rip Subaru apart if you keep pulling!"
"GYAAAAAH!!"
Emilia, unable to watch any longer, joins in to try to stop them. As a result, she grabs my right foot, and I'm now being pulled from three directions.
And per the usual script in situations like this: "In that case, I suppose it's correct for me to hold the left foot."
"Th-there's nothing 'correct' about it — Echidna-san, help me…"
"Regrettably, this powerless me can't compete with them. But in terms of the depth of my feelings for you, I won't lose so easily… That's, um, a little embarrassing to say."
"Not the time!!"
Echidna's cheeks flush faintly, but unfortunately, I have no bandwidth to respond to such subtle emotional shifts. At this rate, I'll be torn into four pieces.
"Hang in there, Subaru! I'll help you now!"
"Subaru-kun's childhood-friend-position belongs to Rem…!"
"Master! I'm going to make you keep the promise you made when we parted…!"
"At the very least, let me hold on until the end — I'd like to prove my feelings for you that way."
My right arm, right leg, left arm, left leg — experiencing the sensation of having my limbs twisted apart, I gaze upon the hellish painting of beautiful girls fighting over me — which should, theoretically, be bliss.
It's almost as if it's a premonition of the hectic school life that awaits me— "Oh, the teaching practice student Echidna-san, and the transfer student Shaula-san, who arrived just yesterday. Everyone, please be kind and help them settle into class quickly!"
"Okay!"
The class responds with bright enthusiasm to Frederica-sensei's somewhat resigned words.
Sensing it all from far away, as if it's happening in another world entirely, my consciousness gradually, gradually drifts off to the infinite beyond.
"Wh-what's going to happen to me from now on…?"
"…I'm not sure, but it doesn't seem like anything good."
The last thing to slip into my fading consciousness was the mumbling voice of Otto, who has seamlessly settled into the "best friend in a dating sim" role.
—What's going to become of my school life from here on?!
"Academy Re:Zero! Continues in Period 4!"