1. Route No.07: A Straight Line to World Unification
Elisabeth von Habsburg, Third Imperial Princess of the Habsburg Empire, sat in her study. Lately, an incident had stirred up trouble in the palace, and the princess had a splitting headache over it. Namely, some commoner had fallen into the lake inside the imperial palace.
The fact that the palace—renowned for its ironclad security—had been breached by a mere commoner sent shockwaves through every member of the court. Moreover, this incident carried political implications for Princess Elisabeth, who wielded influence over the Imperial Guard.
What was she to do? While Elisabeth wrestled with her thoughts, the prison warden she had previously bribed came to her with word. The commoner who had fallen into the lake was desperately begging to meet her, weeping and clinging on. Hoping that she might be able to use this human to her advantage, Princess Elisabeth secretly made her way to the prison.
A slender young man spotted Elisabeth and immediately launched into a rapid-fire tirade.
"Greetings, Glory of Habsburg! To cut straight to the chase, I am aware that Your Highness burns with the passion to resurrect the Empire, and I intend to offer my loyalty and cooperation without reservation. First, Rudolf von Habsburg is holding noble-born sex slaves captive on the second basement floor of his mansion—if this is uncovered and exposed, Your Highness will easily win the succession war. Furthermore, the Levelo Trading Company with which Prince Ferdinand von Habsburg has a contract is in fact an anti-Imperial faction backed by the Kingdom of Bretagne. If you ransack their headquarters like you're hunting rats, you can charge them with treason. Additionally, regarding Count Decabrite, who currently commands the Capital Defense Force—his two adjutants are ready to stab their superior in the back at any moment. That's because his wife has been eaten by him. You look troubled. Of course, I understand that all of this seems unbelievable. But please believe me. I also know that when Your Highness was around ten years old, you disposed of your younger brother, Prince Robert, in the woods behind the secondary palace, under the cherry tree… Your Highness? Are you alright, Your Highness? Your face has gone completely white. In any case, I'm not sure whether the First and Second Imperial Princesses are still alive at this point, but this is a golden opportunity. There is a young lady named Laura of the Parsene family in Sardinia—you absolutely must recruit her. Deploy the 'Shadows' that Your Highness possesses and as quickly as possible, even one day sooner… Wait. Your Highness. Please don't faint. If Your Highness and I join forces, continental unification will be as good as done—"
2. Route No.12: Your Pattern Is 'Strong-Weak-Weak-Strong-Strong-Strong-Weak-Strong-Medium-Weak'
The great Demon Lord Bael was stunned. The human before him had infiltrated his Demon Lord's Castle precisely eleven hours ago, annihilated every Demonkin battalion without triggering a single trap, and moreover had defeated Bael himself in single combat. And on top of that, the human was a 'girl'—and one who looked no older than fifteen, at that!
Bael, with the holy sword still piercing his heart, barely managed to open his mouth.
"How… how did a human body obtain such power?"
"Demon Lord Bael. Rank 1. When receiving a physical attack, he activates the True Dragon's innate magic; when receiving a magical attack, he activates the Azure Dragon's innate magic. However, when attacked simultaneously by a large number of contracted familiars, he has a pattern of removing his anti-magic cloak. Taking this into account, it would be most efficient to switch to a Magic Swordsman class and attack directly."
"You—what nonsense are you spouting…?"
The girl wore a vicious grin far beyond her years.
"I've gotten bad endings from you exactly eighty-nine times, you mutt."
3. Route No.28: Might As Well Destroy the World While You're At It
VenusPants flew into a rage after losing a keyboard battle. Once her brain overheated, no one could stop her—so VenusPants hopped into her Reincarnation Truck No. 2 and ran over that goddamn unlucky bastard.
However, she made a critical mistake here. When deciding which rank of Demon Lord the target would be possessed as, she was supposed to enter '72'—but she accidentally pressed '2' one extra time, entering '722' instead. Later, VenusPants tried to excuse herself by saying, "I had soju last night…" but the situation had already spiraled beyond anyone's control.
Since there was no Demon Lord of Rank 722 in the world, the system malfunctioned. With no assigned rank, it randomly rolled—and thanks to the world's abundance of malice, opportunistic plot developments, and noble-class clichés, the target just so happened to be possessed as Bael, Rank 1. And so the strongest of all Demon Lords let out a thunderous roar. The possessed Bael was stupidly powerful—the strongest among all Demon Lords. He defeated gods and Demonkin alike. He beat them all when they ganged up on him. The possessed Bael was one of a kind. Anyway, he roared. The world was destroyed.
4. Route No.29: No Way My Korea Is the Jushin Empire!
It was here that VenusPants made a critical error.
Since no Demon Lord of Rank 722 existed in the world, the system malfunctioned—and guided by the world's abundance of malice, nationalistic plot developments, and noblesse-oblige clichés, the target ended up reincarnating in none other than the Korean Peninsula of the sixteenth century.
The original owner of the body he reincarnated into was Prince Haeseong-gun, Yi Gyun—the boy who would later become King Seonjo.
5. Route No.50: If Only Cleopatra's Nose Had Been a Little Lower…
Following the noblesse-oblige cliché, Dantalion became an extraordinarily handsome man.
His former scarecrow of a frame vanished, replaced by a refined physique with just the right amount of muscular definition. His devastating good looks were the sort that, if he reincarnated into a romance novel, the crown prince would swoon; if he reincarnated into a Romance of the Three Kingdoms gender-swap, Cao Cao and Liu Bei would tear each other apart fighting over him; and even if he reincarnated into a raid novel, he could absolutely strut through the world trampling a hundred thousand beauties under his feet.
When Dantalion killed Andromalius and stood trial at the hearing, Paimon—who had originally intended to interrogate Dantalion—could only stammer.
'Y-you're too handsome!'
A living, breathing replica of God's marble sculpture stood before them. Barbatos, who had been sipping wine, dropped his glass on the spot. Gamigin's centuries-old composure—the acting she had carefully maintained for hundreds of years—shattered. Every female Demon Lord in the room felt their hearts bounce violently.
The problem was that the attendees of the hearing were not limited to the female Demon Lords. Every male Demon Lord present also fell for Dantalion. A war nearly broke out among the Demon Lords over Dantalion, but at his earnest plea, a temporary ceasefire was brokered. However, this was nothing more than the prologue to tragedy.
"All of history until now has been a history of class struggle!"
Dantalion shouted from the center of the Brun Plains, before a hundred thousand humans and a hundred thousand Demonkin. He was delivering a historic, impassioned speech—but not a single word of it registered with anyone in the crowd.
'So—so handsome!'
'It's like the God of Beauty himself has descended!'
'He's so handsome I'm getting dizzy!'
And so, the battle to claim Dantalion drew in Princess Elisabeth, Queen Henrietta, and the monarchs of nations in droves. Dantalion desperately tried to prevent the war, but to no avail—every ruler of the Demon Realm and every ruler of the Human Realm, regardless of age or gender, threw themselves into the fray, and a world war of shock and horror erupted on a scale never before seen. Just as Dantalion had wished, an age of chaos unfolded.
To everyone's surprise, the final victor was Sitri.
6. Route No.99: If the Demon Lord's Constitution Had Been Just Slightly Different…
"Then let the hearing commence,"
Marbas said solemnly.
Marbas had always been the one to handle disputes and took pride in that, but of all things, he would have preferred to avoid moderating today's hearing. However, the Demon Lords clamored that no one but Marbas could fill the role of mediator, and to put it more frankly, no one else was willing to step up, so Marbas had no choice but to come forward.
"Defendant Dantalion."
"Yes."
Dantalion nodded gravely.
"Are you aware that our Crescent Alliance Army is currently at a critical juncture where we must advance onto the continent?"
"I am."
"In other words, do you recognize that in the current situation, the loss of even a single Demon Lord from our ranks could deal a devastating blow to our forces?"
"I am aware of that as well."
Marbas slammed his fist down on the desk with a resounding bang.
"Then why did you impregnate all the Demon Lords in one fell swoop!"
In the witness seats, Barbatos, Agares, Paimon, Gamigin, Sitri, and seven other female Demon Lords were seated in a row. They were all cradling their bellies with tender affection, each one swollen like a hill.
"This is slander. I never intentionally induced pregnancy in any case."
Dantalion replied with his expression still perfectly composed.
Marbas gritted his teeth as he flipped through the documents.
"According to the testimony, within a single month alone, you had sexual intercourse with Barbatos eleven times, Gamigin seven times, Paimon seven times, Sitri three times, and each of the remaining female Demon Lords at least twice. When you add it all up, you engaged in sexual intercourse sixty-seven times in thirty days!"
For reference, this was only counting the female Demon Lords. If ordinary Demonkin and humans were factored in, the number tripled in an instant.
Just reading the documents containing these facts was, for Marbas, an experience bordering on horrific.
"And this didn't happen for just one month—it went on for a full six months. And yet you still have the nerve to claim you didn't do it intentionally? Go on then, explain yourself, Senior Advisor."
Dantalion's expression had not changed in the slightest.
"The probability of pregnancy is, as you know, quite low to begin with, and for it to happen in a group would be even more statistically improbable. And yet it actually happened."
"Because you're screwing around every single day, pregnancy is inevitable!"
Marbas shrieked.
Horribly enough, the female Demon Lords had collectively requested "pregnancy leave." Accepting this would leave the Crescent Alliance Army's fighting strength thoroughly halved. If they lost the subsequent war, historians would summarize the cause of the Crescent Alliance Army's defeat in just two letters: "pregnancy." It was nothing short of a nightmare.
"Like dogs in heat, the lot of you! If you'd just held back for a moment during wartime, this wouldn't have happened!"
"Are you perhaps telling us to suppress our sexual urges? Forgive me, Marbas, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean... How exactly is one supposed to suppress their sexual urges?"
"Barbatos only has the body of a 'twelve-year-old'! Damn it all! How is he supposed to give birth?!"
"Since the mother will always maintain her youth, the child will surely be happy as well."
Dantalion calmly replied as though he genuinely believed that. Marbas realized it. This man was a lost cause.
Bang!
The messenger kicked the door open and stumbled in, breathless. Marbas scowled and shouted.
"You insolent wretch! How dare you make such a racket here of all places!"
"F-forgive me, Legion Commander! But an urgent matter has come up that I must report immediately... Lord Bael has become pregnant!"
What?
"Allow me to repeat. Lord Bael has become pregnant and has announced that she will be taking pregnancy leave."
What?!
"W-what are you talking about. Bael is a man..."
"She has been concealing her gender all along, but she was in fact a woman. She had been using an appearance-alteration spell. Commander, the Seventh Legion is currently in complete chaos. As word spreads, the remaining legions are also falling into panic. According to Lord Bael, the father of the child is... Lord Dantalion..."
"..."
Including Marbas, every Demon Lord's jaw dropped wide open.
Struck by looks of shock and horror from all sides, Dantalion quietly murmured with a face that truly could not comprehend any of it.
"That's strange. I only did it 'once'..."
============================ Author's Afterword ============================
There's a Harry Potter fanfic called *Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality*. It's a masterpiece. Among its chapters, there's one called an "Omake" that was written as a side story, and after reading it, I found it so entertaining that I decided to try writing a side story in a similar style.
And that brings up one problem.
Was Bael really a woman, or not?
However, since Bael is already dead in the main story, there's no way to confirm it — so this question will remain as "Schrödinger's Bael," an eternal mystery for scholars around the world……