"Not bad. Everything's going to be alright now."
I leaned back comfortably against the couch. Gently stroking Ivar Lodbrok, I pressed the girl's face firmly against my own. And so, I became drenched in her tears as well.
This was still a time when lies were needed.
"Like a camel walking through the desert… slow and unhurried, yet with steps that cannot skip even a single one. If you endure that long, long night, dawn will slowly approach from afar. Everything will be alright."
I whispered as gently as I could. Like a sorcerer casting a spell upon a girl. As though telling her that I would accept her completely and without reservation.
"Everything, truly everything. Ivar Lodbrok. Proud True Ancestor."
"……."
Suddenly, the girl looked up at me with her tear-filled eyes, her gaze blurry. The two of us were surrounded by darkness. The candlelight only made the darkness deeper. Her violet eyes reflected nothing but me.
The girl murmured softly.
"……Your Highness."
I was not so dense as to not understand what that implied.
A man and woman who understood each other. Two people who had vowed to walk forward together. A dimly lit room, candlelight, and the thick, lingering scent of wine that threatened to melt one's entire body. I nodded. Slowly, I brought my face closer to hers.
"……."
Ivar Lodbrok closed her eyes. Her pale pink lips looked smooth and inviting. Yet I did not go there — instead, I merely pressed a fleeting kiss against her small forehead. Ivar Lodbrok blinked.
"Why……"
"I am not so rude as to take a lady as precious as you in my cups, Ivar Lobrodk."
I gave her a brilliant smile.
The girl, already red-faced, flushed even deeper. A loud, clinking sound effect rang out.
"Vampire Ivar Lodbrok's Affinity increases by 14!"
This was truly the first time her Affinity had gone up. Among the upper-class demons, a heroine who was already an upper-class demon having her Affinity jump by 14 in one go — the breaking of the Affinity ceiling was clearly having an effect.
Ivar Lodbrok averted her gaze and started rambling.
"M-My lord, I did not mean… I am deeply honored, but merely, that is…"
"You know, you're actually rather cute."
"…!"
The girl's face flushed crimson all over again. It was as though she were trying to demonstrate just how close a human could get to the color red. A holographic notification window popped up announcing that Affinity had risen by another 2. It was, quite literally, an Affinity bonanza.
Ivar Lodbrok flailed her arms, trying to pull free from me. It was to little avail. Drunk, her gestures were a floppy mess, and she couldn't push my body away, so she slipped off easily.
"Y-Your Highness. The night has grown exceedingly late. I mean, that is to say. I am— mmph!?"
She couldn't finish her sentence. I cut her off midway.
Gentle when she approached, aggressive when she tried to retreat — that was the tactic I enjoyed using. Ivar Lodbrok's eyes went wide at the unexpected strike, and she waved her arms about. Her resistance was far too feeble to call resistance.
"Mmph… mmph, hah. W-Wait… nngh."
Our lips pressed together and our tongues intertwined. Whenever a gap briefly opened between us, hot breaths spilled through. Ivar Lodbrok's mouth was as sweet as the fine wine she had been drinking all night. At some point, the arms that had been trying to push me away gradually went limp.
Once I confirmed that, I slowly pulled my lips back.
I whispered playfully.
"How is it? Sober up a little now?"
"…."
Ivar Lodbrok hung her head low. She murmured in a jumbled rush.
"P-Please take care of me."
Even her voice was stained red with embarrassment.
When a woman consents to intimacy, it is important to distinguish whether she truly means it from the bottom of her heart or has simply gone along with the mood. If I were thinking of spending a single night with this woman and moving on, it wouldn't matter. But if I intended to build something over a long stretch of time, I had to start in a way that left no regrets on either side.
Judging that is usually very difficult. Even more so when both parties are drunk. But……
"The Vampire Ivar Lodbrok's Affinity increases by 14!"
There really are people in this world who can detect sincerity through the strangest methods. The system being one of them.
"Mm……"
I stroked the girl's cheek and kissed her once more. This time there was no resistance at all to push me away. We naturally gave in to gravity and lay down on the sofa.
That night, the girl who had lived forgetting what men were for thousands of years thoroughly remembered what pleasure was.
Ivar Lodbrok lay sprawled naked on the sofa.
"Mm, mm……hhnnn……."
The aftershocks of pleasure apparently hadn't faded, as she let out the occasional moan in her sleep. Traces of vigorous lovemaking trailed down her thighs, her hair, and between her legs. The pale white body glimpsed in the flickering candlelight was almost blinding. I stroked her head a few times and got up.
"Haaah."
I lit a cigarette.
"……I may have been a bit too rough with someone who just got her body back."
I'd apparently gone a little overboard.
I honestly admitted my fault. Dealing with Laura all the time had raised my standards way too high. Laura, whose sex slave level had surprisingly hit S, would keep up with me all day long, passing out only once or twice before going all the way.
Laura and I had a baseline of six hours. Having grown used to that, I'd lost all consideration for my partner and gone off the rails. Oh man—I should have considered the fact that Ivar Lodbrok had returned to a woman's body for the first time in thousands of years!
The result was obvious. Ivar Lodbrok had flat-out passed out.
"Ugh. I gave her way too intense a memory for a first experience."
Idiot. Imbecile. Fool.
Strictly speaking, Ivar Lodbrok wasn't a virgin. After all, hadn't the original reason for swearing revenge against the Demon Lord been her past lover?
But thousands of years had already passed. You could say there was an expiration date on virginity, and if you hadn't experienced being a woman for several thousand years, you might as well be considered a virgin again. Just like how Brother Beleth, the thousand-year virgin, was still a virgin.
I should have been more considerate. Damn it. The sight of the game's official heroine gasping raw in my arms had quietly blown my brakes to smithereens. Something exploded.
Looking at the girl who had collapsed limply onto the sofa, I scratched the back of my head.
"……At the very least, I should give her a bath."
I lit the fireplace myself.
I found a suitable tub and filled it with water. Then I dropped stones heated in the fireplace into the water. Steam rose as the water warmed up. Hot water, complete!
I tore a strip from my cloak to make a makeshift towel. I soaked this towel in the hot water and carefully, slowly, so as not to wake her, wiped down Ivar Lodbrok's body.
"Hm hm hm, hm~"
A hummed tune slipped out of me on its own.
It wasn't exactly grueling labor. If anything, it was enjoyable. There was not a man alive, I could say with absolute certainty, who would refuse to tenderly wipe down the body of a beautiful young woman.
"Mm……hn……"
Here and there, Ivar Lodbrok moaned. I paid it no mind and gently cleaned her slender forearms, her smooth calves, and even her modestly swelling chest with the warm towel.
This was simply basic courtesy.
Say a woman went at it hard and passed out. She wakes up with great effort, and what do you know — her body is covered head to toe in a sticky, slippery liquid. Without warning, she's living the worst morning of her life!
"Oh, dear."
God, just imagining it is truly horrifying……
May every woman in the world wake up to a refreshing morning.
Having lost control last night and failed to be considerate, I at least owed her a "decent morning." After all, no matter how rough the main event might have been, if you feel good when you wake up, people just believe that "last night was amazing!"
In short, all of this was prework to make sure she had a good impression of me.
"Cleaning complete!"
A short while later, Ivar Lodbrok was spotless. From fingertips to toes, her skin was white and smooth once again.
I laid her down on the sofa, then pressed my palms together in prayer.
I bowed my head solemnly.
"Thank you for the meal."
"Hngh… nngh…"
"It was truly delicious."
To the goddesses of Olympus, who once again bestowed upon me my daily bread, I offer my deepest gratitude.
Yesterday it was Gamigin, today Ivar Lodbrok, and tomorrow Paimon and Sitri are already on the schedule — if this is not the blessing and grace of the goddesses, then what else could it be?
I am but a humble servant of Goddess Aphrodite, and I merely practice and cultivate love as the Goddess has commanded of this world; if there is any shortfall in me, I pray for your magnanimity, and if there is anything praiseworthy in me, I ask for even greater grace to be bestowed upon me.
"Amen."
With the hand motions I learned back in my days as a priest, I drew something resembling a sign of the cross.
In truth, I am not a priest of Aphrodite but a priest of Artemis, and the Goddess Artemis has no such creed as "Amen"; moreover, she is none other than the guardian of virgins and chastity — but I interpret the Goddess's will through reformed doctrine as follows: 'Go forth and gather up all the virgins and chastity this world has to offer.'
After all, every religion needs its revolutionary reinterpretation.
"Hm, done. Perfect."
I gently draped my cloak over Ivar Lodbrok like a blanket.
Then, feeling lighter, I walked out of the guild building.
"Hm-hmm~. Forward, sons and daughters of the homeland~."
Was this the fruit of faithfully following the Goddess's merciful will once more today?
My steps leaving the guild were wonderfully light and incomparably refreshed. I strolled down the street with a carefree swagger, smoking a cigarette. The cool morning air mingled with the fragrant scent of tobacco, creating the perfect mood.
"Take up your bayonets, citizen comrades~. Hoorah, lead your units to the forefront~."
The sunlight struck my body with a bright, radiant warmth.
There are times like these when I'm reminded not to take the world more seriously than it needs to be.
Isn't the world this beautiful?
"…!"
Ivar Lodbrok sucked in a sharp breath and bolted upright.
She looked around as though possessed by something. But there was nothing in the room. When the girl furrowed her brow and tried to recall the events of the previous night, a tremendous headache crashed over her without warning.
"…Ngh."
A hangover.
Only then did the empty bottles strewn across the floor come into view. Thirty bottles, fifty bottles, seventy bottles… Counting items by instinct was a merchant's habit, but the headache kept getting in the way. She managed to reach seventy-two before giving up.
Her head wasn't working at all.
Ivar Lodbrok knew from long experience what to do in situations like this.
"So… I met His Grace Dantalion, and…"
The girl began thinking out loud rather than silently. Borrowing the power of spoken words, she traced her way step by step through the events of the previous night.
"We made a wager… and drank… and then…"
And then it came back to her. What she had done.
"…."
Ivar Lodbrok clutched her head in both hands and screamed without a sound.
What the hell had she done!
Mixing bodies with the most dangerous element in the Demon Lord's army — was she out of her mind! No matter how drunk she'd been, how could she have been that stupid, Lodbrok! You fool!
"…No, wait. It's not a 'deal' with nothing but losses."
The girl muttered in a panic.
"That's right. If I deepen my relationship with Lord Dantalion, I can intervene in the Demon Lord's army from a different angle. From now on, I need to use that to my advantage... Very well. I'll pretend to be a lovestruck virgin and deceive Lord Dantalion..."
Perhaps she struggled too much.
Something slipped from her body with a soft thud and fell to the floor. When Ivar Lodbrok looked down, a rather luxurious cloak lay there.
"..."
The girl picked up the cloak and drew it up. This, too, remained in her memory. It was Lord Dantalion's cloak. She spread it out with both hands and stared intently at it for a while.
Ivar Lodbrok discreetly brought his nose to the cloak. He silently took in its scent.
"..."
Fortunately, no one was watching her.