Snow was scattered across the northern lands.
It had been about four months since we set out.
Autumn and the beast race's mating season had long since passed.
We were approaching the season that would plunge us into a long winter.
Even the Stomach Forest had snow piled up to its ankles in its thick undergrowth.
If we'd been another month later, the snow would have been up to our waists.
If that had happened, traveling the rest of the way to Sharia would surely have been impossible.
"
If anything attacked, we'd cut it all down. Mana wasn't an issue.
The armadillo was shivering, but it would be fine if I warmed it with magic now and then.
There was no problem.
--- That night.
The watch was mine and Elinalise's.
She brought up the subject abruptly.
"
I had a pretty good idea what it was about.
It would be about
I sat seiza directly in front of Elinalise.
I sat in a position where I could drop to my knees in apology at a moment's notice.
Elinalise sat with her legs folded to one side.
What kind of words would she use to scold me?
For neglecting
Or for sleeping with Roxy?
"Rudeus, you weren't a Millis follower, were you?"
Elinalise's opening question was neither of those.
"...?"
I didn't understand what she was getting at.
But there was only one being I could call my god.
Now and forever, that hadn't changed.
"That's right."
"That's what I thought. Sylphie isn't a Millis follower either, is she?"
"No, I don't think she is."
Sylphie didn't follow any religion.
In fact, among the people I knew, the only devout Millis follower was
Cliff always wore the Millis Church's symbol around his neck, and once a week he went to the town church for something like mass.
At the very least, Sylphie didn't carry the Millis Church's symbol and didn't go to church.
Compared to Cliff, anyway. She might secretly be a believer.
But at least I'd never heard anything about that.
"My Cliff is a devout Millis follower."
"That's right."
I'd just been thinking about Cliff, so I agreed immediately.
"Did you know? Millis followers have a rule that you can only take one wife."
"So I've heard."
"It's a rather rigid doctrine—love your wife for your entire life—but when you're on the receiving end of that love, it's actually quite pleasant."
I could see that.
To love one person with everything you had, and to be loved in return—that was truly wonderful.
And yet, my fickle heart was drifting toward Roxy.
I loved Roxy. There was no mistake about that.
But I remembered all too well those wretched days of impotence.
The one who had cured that and given me a life of fulfillment was Sylphie.
I wanted to return to her a love equal to what she'd given me.
That feeling, too, was undeniable.
"But Rudeus."
"Yes?"
"I don't necessarily think it's wrong to love multiple people at the same time."
"I figured you'd say that, but isn't that dishonest?"
When I pressed the point, Elinalise shook her head.
"If you had abandoned Sylphie, that would be one thing. But as long as you truly love her, it's not dishonest."
"But if there are two people, you'd only be able to give half your effort to each, wouldn't you?"
"It's not as though you'd be together all day. It wouldn't be half—it might decrease a little, but that's all."
If it decreased, was that really a problem?
Humans might be indifferent to gains, but they were acutely sensitive to losses.
If Sylphie felt that she was loved less than before, that would be a serious problem.
"Think about it. After
Happy or unhappy.
The argument had shifted a little off-topic.
But now that she mentioned it, Zenith hadn't become unhappy, really.
Things were the same as before.
If anything, she and Lillia had become closer than ever and she seemed even happier.
Paul might have become a bit unhappy being attacked by two wives.
But that, too, was a form of happiness.
That kind of happiness would never return.
"...So in the end, what are you trying to say, Elinalise?"
I asked.
Thinking of Paul made me feel a little sad.
If I kept talking, I might feel even sadder.
So I wanted to hear the conclusion.
"Rudeus. Marry Roxy. You love her, don't you?"
Her words stung me slightly.
"...Are you serious?"
"Yes, of course I'm serious."
"Elinalise. You're saying this? You—you're Sylphie's grandmother, the one who should wish for Sylphie's happiness—"
I had no right to blame Elinalise.
I was the one who had cheated.
I'd broken my vow to Sylphie and slept with Roxy.
No matter how it happened, the facts didn't change.
But I found myself speaking in an accusatory tone anyway.
"Yes, I'm saying it. If not me, who can?"
Elinalise looked at me with a proud expression.
"I know I shouldn't say it this way, but before I became Sylphie's grandmother, I was Roxy's dear friend."
I didn't understand for a moment.
But then I realized she was talking about the order in which they'd met.
Elinalise had met Roxy first, and then later met Sylphie.
"Honestly, I can't stand watching Roxy like this. That girl—she wants to throw herself at you and cling to you for all she's worth, but she's planning to step back. Just because the timing was bad."
Hearing that, Roxy did seem pitiful.
But putting myself in Sylphie's shoes, Sylphie was the one who deserved sympathy.
"If she breaks up with you like this, she'll have a terrible life. She'll be deceived by some awful man, treated rough, and in the end, she could be sold to a brothel to pay off debts and forced to bear a child for a man whose name she doesn't even know."
"Aren't you exaggerating?"
"I know women who lived exactly that kind of life."
Her voice was dead serious.
Surely it wasn't based on personal experience.
"I want Roxy to be happy, even if it's just a little."
"Well, of course I want that too."
"Rudeus. You can do it. You can love Sylphie and Roxy equally. You're Paul's son, after all. You should have that much capability."
Could I?
I could.
Yes, I could.
Because I loved them both equally. There was no way I couldn't.
But was it really okay?
Saying something so self-serving.
Saying something that was far too convenient for me.
No.
...This was a devil's whisper.
I shouldn't lend it my ear.
"No, I'll only—"
"I didn't plan on saying this, but—"
Elinalise cut me off and raised her voice.
Then she said, quietly: "When we were drinking at the bazaar, Roxy said 'that day' hadn't come."
"...Eh?"
What was a period again?
No, that wasn't the point.
Wait, no—there was no way— "Well, it's not confirmed yet, but..."
But the deed had been done.
So there was a possibility.
And that day, Roxy had weakly pounded on my chest.
Had that been some kind of signal?
Elinalise leaned in, peering at my face.
"Rudeus, if Roxy were pregnant, what would you do?"
When I heard those words.
The image of Paul flashed through my mind.
Yes—the Paul who had gotten Lillia pregnant.
That Paul had been pathetic.
He'd wavered, unable to decide between them, and I'd had to help him.
Paul was a man worthy of respect.
But that wasn't something I should imitate.
"...I'd take responsibility."
"How?"
"I'd marry her."
I'd marry her, I said.
I felt like I'd been pushed into it.
I had been. But it couldn't be helped.
But now that I'd said it.
Something settled into place in my heart.
I loved Sylphie.
But I also wanted to be bound to Roxy through marriage.
I didn't want Roxy to be taken by someone else—I wanted her to be mine.
What an outrageous thing to ask.
After telling Sylphie all those things, even having a child with her.
And then wanting another woman too.
It wasn't something that should be forgiven.
Thinking this way made me human garbage.
For the longest time, I'd been calling Paul garbage.
But I was a man too.
If I'd fallen for two women and wanted them both.
Was it so wrong to try to have them both?
Just like Paul had.
And if that meant Sylphie lost all respect for me and Roxy abandoned me too.
And in the end, I lost both.
Hmm, yes.
This wasn't just my problem.
"...But whether Roxy and Sylphie would say yes is another matter."
"Indeed. Then I'll go get Roxy."
"Wh—"
Elinalise stood up and, in one smooth motion, ducked into the tent pitched nearby.
Fast.
After a moment, only Roxy emerged.
She didn't look sleepy.
She was watching me with a tense expression.
Perhaps Elinalise had told her something.
"What did you want to talk about, Rudeus?"
Roxy sat seiza directly in front of me.
I straightened my posture without thinking.
What should I say?
It was a little too soon.
I hadn't prepared any words.
No—I didn't need to prepare anything.
My feelings for Roxy weren't something that required thought.
"Um, I think I told you this a long time ago, but—"
"Yes."
"I love you, Roxy. From the old days until now, I've always loved you. But it's not just love—I respect you too. You seem to worry that your magic isn't as good as mine, but regardless of that, your teachings have saved me many times. Because you were there, I was able to keep living until now."
Roxy's face turned crimson before my eyes.
I was probably just as red.
Confessing face-to-face like this was embarrassing.
"T-thank you for that."
"But, um, well—I already have a wife."
"Yes, I know."
Would I ask her to become my second wife?
Wouldn't that be terribly rude?
I couldn't think of the right words.
What should I do?
But I had to say it.
No matter how I phrased it, it was all the same.
I wasn't going to leave Sylphie, and on top of that, I was trying to make Roxy mine.
And I was putting off consulting Sylphie about it.
I was planning to get Sylphie's approval after the fact.
That was exactly what human garbage would do.
But if I didn't say it now.
Roxy might disappear somewhere.
She was the type to leave as soon as things were settled.
If I didn't stop her, it might be too late.
...Fine.
If it came down to saying "I wish I'd done that" later, then I'd rather be garbage.
"My wife's name is Sylphiette
"Yes, I've heard."
"Roxy—wouldn't you like to change your name to Roxy Greyrat as well?"
For a moment, Roxy looked puzzled.
Then she seemed to grasp the meaning and covered her mouth.
But she quickly composed herself again.
"...That's very kind of you to say. But don't you need to get your wife's permission first?"
Of course, I'd have to talk to Sylphie about it.
A stranger was going to become family.
I'd have to explain things to my sisters too.
I should probably tell Lillia as well.
"I do need to get her permission."
"Then—"
I was going to be rejected.
Roxy wanted me to choose her alone after all.
That thought had just crossed my mind when— "Then please ask me again afterward."
Roxy said it with a serious face.
Amidst the scattered snow.
"Afterward, ask me again."
The fact that she hadn't refused set my body on fire.
--- Approaching the magical city of Sharia.
I told Lillia about Roxy as well.
She responded in her usual expressionless manner.
"I see. Understood."
That was all she said.
She didn't blame me in any way.
Perhaps it was because she'd been in a similar position to Roxy.
No—that wasn't it. The truth was that the concept of monogamy was pretty much exclusive to Millis.
In any case, having made a promise to Roxy and gained Lillia's approval felt like a weight had been lifted from my heart.
All that remained was to go home, tell Sylphie and the others about the journey, and bow my head to them about Roxy.
Telling
But I had to let them take it in.
Would Norn be angry? Would she blame me?
Would Sylphie cry? Would she blame me?
I intended to face them without running away.
I wouldn't regret it.
"...Regret?"
At that moment, a sense of unease reared its head inside me.
It was about the Human God's prophecy.
He had said I would "regret it."
Indeed—Paul had died, Zenith had become a vegetable, and I'd lost my left hand.
I'd lost a great deal.
But strangely, I didn't regret anything now.
I could say that thanks to Roxy, I hadn't reached the point of regret.
There were parts where I wished I'd been stronger, certainly.
If I'd learned swordsmanship more deeply.
If I'd been strong enough to defeat that Hydra.
I had those thoughts too.
But at the same time, I strongly felt that it was impossible.
In this world, I didn't have particularly high aptitude for combat.
I couldn't even wrap myself in Touki, and I didn't know how.
With swordsmanship, without Touki, there was no way to improve.
And the opponent had been a Hydra, immune to magic. Even if I'd mastered
I wondered if there had been some other method, but...
So there wasn't much regret there.
Paul had died.
But in the end, that had led me to re-examine myself.
I'd caused trouble and worry for the others, but in the end, there had been something positive for me personally.
No regrets.
All that remained was sadness.
Yes, only sadness.
On the Begaritt Continent, only sadness remained.
Not regret.
So if I were going to regret anything, it would be from here on.
Perhaps.
Had something happened to the sisters I'd left at home?
No—remember the Human God's words.
He'd said something about Linia and Pursena.
Did that mean something had happened to them?
Had I needed their help to solve some problem?
Or—could it be.
Could it be that something had happened to Sylphie, who was pregnant...
That was the only thing left that I could possibly regret.
Even with that unease, I couldn't rush the journey.
The weather worsened and the snow grew heavier by the day.
The others seemed fine, but Zenith was struggling, so I used earth magic to make a makeshift carrying frame and carried her on my back.
The armadillo looked cold too.
Maybe I should have left it behind after all.
No—it was too late for that.
At the very least, I'd give it a name so it could die whenever.
Jiro.
Yeah, Jiro would do.
Hang in there, Jiro.
The journey there had taken five days—a trip that was too fast.
The return took over ten days.
Considering everything up to this point, it wasn't a long journey.
But of all the trips I'd taken, it had felt like the longest.
--- We arrived at the magical city of Sharia.
I headed straight for home.
I could feel my feet picking up speed.
"Hey, Boss. What's wrong? You look green—shouldn't we cast detox on you or something?"
Geese called out with concern.
But I ignored him and kept pressing forward.
"Whoa, so this is the center of town. Well, let's grab an inn for now. We can't just barge in on the Boss's place with all these—"
Someone was talking behind me, but I couldn't hear a thing.
"Hey, Boss, are you lis—RUDEUS!"
Before I knew it, I was running.
Leaving everyone behind, I ran toward home alone.
Running along the streets I'd walked for over a year.
Passersby looked at me with puzzled expressions.
I nearly tripped as I ran.
Something was off with my balance.
Was it because I didn't have my left wrist? I couldn't run properly.
Just as I was about to fall, someone caught me.
"What's the rush?"
It was Elinalise.
"It's nothing—"
"What's wrong? You've been in a panic since a while ago. Is something the matter?"
"Ah, no—it's just, I had this feeling like Sylphie might be in danger."
"Danger? Do you have a reason for that?"
"No."
I shook Elinalise off and kept walking quickly.
I wanted to dispel this unease as soon as possible.
Home was right there.
Normally, Sylphie's belly would be quite large by now, and she should be home.
Or had the baby already come? In that case, it would be premature.
And if so, maybe...
Anything was fine.
Anything at all—as long as nothing bad had happened.
I reached the house.
Snow was piled up, but it didn't look much different from when I'd left.
There were a few more trees and potted plants in the yard, maybe.
Aisha's hobby, perhaps?
It looked a little livelier.
I dug a key out of my luggage.
I shoved it into the keyhole and rattled it around.
The key was cold. My hand was shaking.
It wouldn't open. It wouldn't turn.
"Tch."
I grabbed the door knocker.
I banged on the icy-cold knocker.
"Isn't it open?"
Someone said from behind me, and I grabbed the doorknob.
I turned it and pulled, and the door swung open.
How careless.
Thinking that, I stepped inside—and found myself face to face with someone who had been about to open it from the other side.
"Big brother?!"
"Aisha... are you okay?"
"Okay? What do you mean?"
Aisha looked at me, then at Elinalise beside me, with a bewildered expression.
And at the people behind me.
I turned around and saw Roxy there too, out of breath.
For the time being, I grabbed Aisha by the shoulder.
Aisha noticed the sensation on her right shoulder and looked down, her eyes widening.
She looked back and forth between her hand and my face in disbelief.
"What—what is this? Big brother, your hand—"
"You're okay. Where's Sylphie?"
"Huh? Uh... Sylphie-nee is right there?"
I looked where she pointed and noticed Sylphie standing behind Aisha, looking at me with a confused expression.
Her belly was quite large now.
Oh, and her breasts were a little swollen too.
She was about seven or eight months along, if I remembered right.
Would she already be producing milk?
No—none of that mattered right now.
"Rudeus... what's wrong?"
"Sylphie—are you okay? Nothing happened?"
"Hmm? Yeah, everyone took good care of me, and Aisha worked really hard too."
Sylphie was safe.
Of course—anyone could see that.
"Anyone else? Norn? Linia,
"Huh? What do you mean, 'okay'? Nothing happened."
"Nobody got sick or injured?"
"Um, no... nothing in particular."
The confused look on Sylphie's face.
The look that said she had no idea what I was talking about.
Seeing that.
I realized.
That nothing had happened.
"Big brother...?"
When I came to, Aisha's face was high above me.
She'd gotten so tall.
No—I had collapsed.
"I see."
The tension drained from me.
In the end, the regret had been about Paul's death.
And about my parents in the past.
I'd been worrying over nothing.
"Haa..."
From the bottom of my heart, I let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness."
Sylphie slowly walked over and placed her hand on my shoulder.
The warmth of her hand seemed to spread gently through my shoulder.
She knelt down and wrapped her arms around my back.
I put my arms around her back.
Even though I worried I might not hold her properly with my left hand gone, I held on tight.
I caught the familiar scent of Sylphie.
"Rudeus... welcome home."
There was so much I had to tell her.
About Paul.
About Zenith.
About Roxy.
I also had to go meet the others waiting at the plaza.
I'd come alone.
I'd rushed too much.
If nothing had happened, I should have taken my time.
But first, I had to say it.
"I'm home."
I had returned.