"Well now, you two have done splendidly. I'm truly impressed."
I spoke toward the crystal orb. I was lying face-down, receiving a massage.
─ …....
The person shown in the crystal orb was Saint Longwy. My posture was hardly befitting an audience with the Saint, but this wasn't an official meeting — and the other party was in the same position as I was. The Saint was also lying face-down, getting a back massage.
"Oh my. You don't look too happy. Wasn't Bretagne's territory just expanded? Surely you can afford to look a bit more pleased."
─ I almost died because of you!
Saint Longwy suddenly screamed at the top of her lungs. Her volume was so ear-splitting I thought my kidneys might drop out. Dying because of me? I had no idea what she was talking about. When I tilted my head in confusion, Saint Longwy flailed around like a monkey in heat.
─ That look! That utterly clueless look is what makes me furious!
"I don't know what you mean. The Saint's prestige has soared once more, and the people handed over territory of their own free will. The Bretagne army entered the Piedmont region without spilling a drop of blood. Every way you look at it, this is nothing but good news. Honestly, I think I deserve some gratitude."
─ I received a flogging! Do you have any idea how much it hurt!
Ah. So that was what this was about.
When I finally showed a look of understanding, Saint Longwy grew even more indignant and demanded answers.
─ I passed out cold from the whipping! Good grief. How could you order something like that on a lady like me... I can't believe it!
What a racket. It was only twenty lashes — what was there to whine about?
I had once received a full seventy lashes. A few whip strikes in exchange for expanded territory was an incredible bargain. She'd probably slathered on potions afterward and wouldn't even have a scar left on her back. So there was no real problem at all.
I said flatly:
"Yes, yes. I am terribly sorry for damaging the skin of the noble and sacred Owl Saint. I, Dantalion, express my deepest regret from the bottom of my heart."
─ I will absolutely kill you someday!
"Oh my. How terrifying. Will I ever be able to sleep at night thanks to the Saint?"
─ Eeeeeeek!
The number of people who wanted to kill me lately had really shot up. And they all seemed to be women — or was that my imagination? Well, if I had to die, I'd rather a beautiful woman's hand do the deed than some haggard brute. Dying at the hands of a pretty woman felt like it doubled your chances of getting into heaven. At least that was the vibe I got.
The jokes ended there. I shifted my tone.
"It's about time the southern nobles' momentum broke as well. Southern Frank wasn't swept up in civil war. The citizens are prosperous because of that, but the flip side is they have no immunity to war. A classic case of pros and cons."
─ ...Unless they've lost their minds, they won't stand against our Bretagne army. Is that what you mean?
I nodded my head.
If someone were to hire mercenaries on a large scale from somewhere, the story would be different, but it was already far too late. While they recruited mercenaries, the Bretagne army would be cheerfully pillaging their territories. And using half-decimated militia to intercept the fearsome Bretagne army was out of the question. The southern nobles were thoroughly cornered.
"The southern nobles will almost certainly raise the white flag to Frank's new government. If they surrender their independence and bow their heads to Frank, the war ends."
Under the treaty, Bretagne was prohibited from invading Frank. Once the southern nobles submitted to Frank again, the Bretagne army would have to withdraw from that moment on.
"That will put the southern nobles in debt to Frank's central authority. This is the key point. Hmm."
I raised my upper body from the massage table. Daisy stopped massaging and stepped aside. I extended my right hand, and without a word she pulled out my pipe and handed it to me. Ahh. That first drag after a massage was impossibly delicious.
─ Ah.
"See? The roles are reversed. If the southern nobles had submitted to the central government from the start, the one who would have ended up in debt would have been Minister Bercy instead. They could have achieved full independence, yet chose to cooperate with the government. But now the situation has flipped entirely."
─ ...Uh, um.
"Minister Bercy's authority will only grow stronger. The great nobles' power weakens, and prestige consolidates around the central bureaucrats. Frank is going to become a rather decent country."
─ H-Hold on a moment. Court Count.
The face of Saint Longwy, as shown in the crystal orb, had turned red for some reason. She was deliberately averting her gaze while stealing glances over here.
─ Put some clothes on. What a shameful display for a woman to see.
I was in the middle of a massage, so naturally I wasn't wearing a shirt or pants. I only had a loose piece of cloth wrapped around my waist like a towel. It seemed the finely raised Saint found the sight of a man's bare skin rather embarrassing.
"Huh? We're hardly adolescents. Two thoroughly rotten adults — what is there to be embarrassed about?"
─ You may be rotten, but I am not.
Saint Longwy averted my gaze. Her voice lacked its usual sharpness too. From that reaction I instinctively caught wind of some truth. As if lightning had struck, my mind flashed. I opened my mouth.
"Could it be..."
Perhaps she sensed the ominousness in my voice. Saint Longwy hesitated.
─ Wh-What?
"Could it be, Saint, that at your age you're still a virgin?"
─ What kind of question is that to ask a woman!?
Saint Longwy screamed once again. It was undeniable. The wavering pupils, the cheeks flushed with shame, the voice that couldn't conceal the humiliation — every piece of circumstantial evidence vehemently confirmed Saint Longwy's virginity.
I couldn't believe it.
"Incredible. You really haven't dated a single man by the time you turned thirty? Seriously? There must be some serious defect in your personality, right? With looks like that, what on earth have you been doing with your life..."
─ Even if, in the infinitesimal chance that I remained a virgin my entire life, that doesn't damage my character!
Saint Longwy roared like a lioness.
─ Unlike a scoundrel like you who casually makes fun of women's lower bodies, maintaining one's chastity is an admirable virtue! Don't look at me as if I'm some inferior person! You're the one who's unclean!
"How tragic... shackled by such anachronistic prejudices, you've lived your entire life — a full thirty years — without ever knowing life's pleasures... and now all that's left is to grow old, having wasted the most delicious days of your existence..."
─ So stop looking at me with those pitying eyes! Athena preserve me! Why on earth must I receive that sort of gaze from a worthless man like you!?
No, I'm sorry, but I genuinely pitied her. Wasn't this practically a natural monument? Come to think of it, this was actually the first time I'd met a virgin. Daisy was a virgin too, but she was only fifteen, so she couldn't compare to a Saint.
Somehow I felt a pang of guilt.
"Well, what can I say? If the Saint feels that way, I have nothing further to say. I'm sorry for bringing up such an uncomfortable topic in various ways..."
─ Don't apologize! When you apologize, it makes it seem like I did something wrong!
"I see. My apologies. No, let me apologize for apologizing. I was lacking in consideration. But I must say, I'm truly surprised. A virgin... I'd completely forgotten that such a word still existed in this world."
─ I really will kill you!
Saint Longwy wailed. To me, it sounded like a pathetic and sorrowful cry.
Afterward, while consulting with Queen Henrietta about this rebellion, I casually requested, "Please introduce the Saint to some decent men." Queen Henrietta furrowed her brow with a displeased expression.
─ Even without you telling me, I've already arranged dozens of introductions. But she turned every single one of them down.
"Good grief. How impossibly high are her standards?"
─ Ever since she was twelve, she's insisted she'll only get involved with a prince on a white horse. A pure, kind prince who has eyes only for her.
"......"
─ .....
"Let's settle the Piedmont region by ceding one-third to the Frank central government. Minister Bercy will likely go there personally to negotiate, so please take care of it."
─ Agreed. I concur.
We tacitly agreed never to discuss this topic again. But the pity in both our eyes never faded. From that point on, even when Saint Longwy threw tantrums over nothing, I accepted them with extraordinary generosity. Old-maid hysteria was an incurable disease — there was nothing to do but be magnanimous.
In late January 1513, the southern great nobles bowed their heads to Frank's central government.
The great nobles enjoyed considerable autonomy, as Minister Bercy had promised, but it was far from the independence they had originally coveted. They could not mobilize troops without the central government's permission, nor could they enter into diplomatic agreements with foreign powers.
At the same time, the Bretagne army withdrew. They were merely abiding by the Treaty of Le Havre, which stipulated that "Frank and Bretagne shall not invade each other."
In addition, portions of the Piedmont region that had surrendered to Bretagne were ceded to the Frank central government. The Sardinians, who had just succeeded in their rebellion, protested — but our Habsburg Empire played a hand there as well. In exchange for Frank conceding one step, they freed every slave of Piedmont origin without any reservations.
And so, everyone who participated in the rebellion received a happy ending.
The Sardinians proved they were no longer docile subjects.
Bretagne obtained a substantial amount of territory at virtually no cost.
Minister Bercy sat back and brought the southern great nobles to heel.
The only ones who bore the brunt of the losses were the great nobles themselves, but that was simply the way of the world — it always demanded sacrifices from the few. I hoped they wouldn't feel too cheated. After all, they had been far too greedy from the start.
Thanks to this rebellion, Frank was officially dubbed the "Frank Regent Empire."
The imperial family's power was entrusted to a Regent who governed the state in the emperor's stead. This Regent was elected by a single vote from every city council and every landed noble in all of Frank. In short, it was an aristocratic republic with guaranteed civic participation.
Duke, count, baron — regardless of rank, one vote each. The landed nobles were promised equality. Though the common people could not exercise their rights, at least the city councils participated in the vote. It was half-baked, but a republic was still a republic.
The Regent served for life. A new Regent was only elected upon the death of the previous one. Minister Bercy would likely survive for a long time and continue to rule Frank.
"......"
For the first time in a while, I visited the Habsburg Imperial Palace.
Deep within the palace, Paimon had been placed. Inside a coffin made of transparent crystal, Paimon lay in peaceful slumber. Magical preservation had been applied, preventing the body from decaying. I spent half a day there before quietly slipping away....