Having blown Subaru away and caught her breath,
She then turned the palm that had delivered the strike outward and shifted her gaze.
"Serve you right, I suppose. …Nii-cha, come over here."
"Yes, yes. Well then, I'll see you later, Subaru."
At the girl's beckoning,
It was the end of the opponent's turn to cut cards, and now it was Subaru's side. But Subaru, already battered and bruised, had considerably less willpower to draw his next card.
Glaring resentfully up at the twins—who were still standing on him as they neatly adjusted the angles of the furnishings—Subaru said: "Sure, I get that compared to me, who's not worth a single copper coin, your priorities lie over there, but still… a maid who tramples on guests? What kind of service is that?"
"Oh my, did you hear that, Sister? He's saying something rather absurd."
"Yes, I heard,
"What a jerk! Anyway, if you're done, get off me already! You've even coordinated your underwear in blue and pink—I'll give you points for tha—*mrphhh*—"
Trampled in the face by twin heels, his speech was cut short. "Kyaa, nooo" they intoned in flat unison, receding into the distance. The two watched Subaru rise with footprints on his face, then clasped hands and leaned their faces together.
"But you see, the customer—rather, Subaru-kun will be a coworker, won't he?"
"But you see, the customer—rather, Barusu is in the same boat as a fellow underling, right?"
"Hey, one of you—my name just became a blinding spell."
A gag virtually guaranteed to come up at least once in elementary or middle school. The peach-haired girl tilted her head in bewilderment, having unwittingly delivered a crossover reference from his old world.
Still, there was some truth to their words. Which was to say— "So my position is like that, huh. Pretty much the lowliest servant guy in the pecking order."
"Under the current arrangement, the best bet would be for you to help out with work around the mansion under
"If I have any complaint at all, it's with myself for just now mixing up 'employ' and 'take care of.' …Well, it's all about perspective, though! Who knows, maybe seeing a man hard at work will make that special someone's heart flutter!"
There was something to be said for labor, for service to society—the notion that a real man proves himself through honest work.
He cast furtive glances at
"Um, I don't really get it, but do your best, okay?"
"You bet! Just think of this as boarding the most luxurious ocean liner ever! I've never worked a day in my life, though!"
Zero work experience—hell, he'd never even resolved to gain work experience. The remarkable progress of this particular good-for-nothing good-for-nothing was almost something to be proud of.
But his surroundings showed no inclination to share in his sunny disposition.
"Sister, Sister. I was a fool for thinking work might progress even a little."
"Rem, Rem. I was a fool for hoping there'd be even a sliver of slacking off."
"Sister, you've gotta learn to wrap your real feelings in a thin layer of tact!?"
The twins made no effort to hide their disappointment. Subaru desperately tried to argue, but even Emilia beside him was sighing with a weary look, threatening to crush what remained of his spirit.
Perhaps his face looked so pitiful, because Emilia hurriedly added a qualifier— "Still, judging from the feel of Subaru's hands and fingers, it can't be helped. He's stubborn so he won't say it, but he must've been in a position where he never had to work."
"Somehow, hearing that makes my position sound seriously sketchy."
"I'm doing my best to cover for you, so don't joke about it!"
When she added that, she poked him in the forehead with a "Hey!" and Subaru caught Emilia's outstretched hand in the process.
"Oh—" He caught sight of her startled expression and marveled at the delicateness and beauty of her fingers. If anything, she was the one who didn't have the hands of a working woman.
"Partner."
"That pronunciation is *horribly* off-putting. Besides, we're not partners. I can handle everything around myself just fine, thank you. I may be living under this mansion's roof now, but I originally made my way alone."
She freed her hand from his grip and puffed out her chest with a faint "Hmph." Having picked up domestic skills, she must have felt she held the upper hand over Subaru.
That slightly childish quality was absurdly cute, though she herself seemed to mistake the gesture for something 'elegant' or similar.
"That aside, I'm not okay with being treated as useless! For the record, it's not like I can't do any housework at all. I've got a strong subject too!"
"Oh, that's a bit surprising. What are you good at? Cooking, laundry… cleaning?"
"Sewing!"
"Another unexpected skill emerges!"
Struck by what felt like an attack from a blind angle, Subaru pouted and sulked to vent his frustration.
It wasn't a bluff or a lie—he really was skilled with needle and thread. Threading a tiny needle with painstaking care and using it to mend things was one of Subaru's hidden talents.
"I can sew buttons back on, patch up small accessories, that sort of thing! And another specialty of mine is… adding a little embroidery accent to clothes and accessories."
"A skill so precise it's almost too specialized to know what to do with…"
Even as she said it, Emilia seemed to agree.
Compared to the orthodox household duties of cooking, laundry, and cleaning, sewing skills fell a notch short in terms of general applicability. The fact that it wasn't one of the daily essentials made it especially so.
"I wonder what Subaru's family was thinking, teaching him that…"
"I don't think they were thinking anything. Rather than being taught, I kind of just picked it up on my own."
"Hmm?" Emilia gave him a curious look, but Subaru waved it off, stammering "It's— it's— forget it, forget it."
He then turned back to the twins and declared with unnecessary chest-puffing arrogance: "So. What kind of work are you going to assign me? I'll follow the wisdom of you senior maids! Ready for some—"
"Pulverize—"
"—bones."
He'd lost the word for a split second, and all three pointed it out in unison.
Watching the servant group that already displayed impressive coordination, Roswaal nodded with satisfaction, stroking his chin.
"Harmony is a beautiful thing. No lingering friction between you either—quite satisfactory for an employer as well, wouldn't you say?"
"I'd say we get along—like, our wavelengths just match, you know? Definitely more compatible than with that loli over there!"
"I suppose he really didn't like how well he clicked with Beatrice…"
Emilia murmured that with a pitying tone, and those words served as the closing note to the boisterous exchange that had stretched across the entire breakfast table.
Clapping his hands lightly, Roswaal gathered the attention of the remaining four, then pointed at a framed object hanging on the wall.
Following his gesture, Subaru furrowed his brows in confusion.
—Because set inside that frame was not one of the paintings he'd glimpsed here and there in the hallways, but a crystal roughly the size of a fist.
A faintly dark blue, like the depths of water, the crystal shimmered with an eerie glow, vaguely receiving the gazes of the five people in the dining hall. The tall man pointed at it and said: "Now now, the Water half of the clock has already half-elapsed. Time is finite—let's be brisk about things, shall we? —Ram and Rem, do as we discussed. Emilia-sama, please stop by my room first. That concludes the gathering."
With Roswaal's words, the breakfast gathering came to a complete end.
Rem began briskly clearing the dishes from the table. Emilia let out a languid sigh, apparently thinking about the schedule ahead. Roswaal approached Subaru with an almost bouncy step, tapped the shoulder of his conspicuously left-behind figure, and said: "Well then, I'm counting on you to show me what you can do. Naturally, since I've hired you, I'll be paying wages, so don't you worry about that."
"We can hammer out the details of the employment arrangement later… but thanks for pulling strings for me in the meantime. Should I be calling you 'my lord' or something?"
"Oh my, outside of guests' presence, 'Roswa' is fine. Honestly, having people call me by a nickname like that is rather refreshing." He winked his yellow eye, gave a light wave, and exited the dining hall. Just before leaving, he exchanged a brief glance with Ram. The peach-haired girl flushed crimson and nodded repeatedly as if receiving a silent order.
The twins were creatures of limited expression and tone, but their composure only broke when dealing with Roswaal. The word "loyal dog" flitted through Subaru's mind.
"Well then, Barusu."
"Oh, so we're fully committing to that name now."
"Yes, we are, Barusu. Per Roswaal-sama's instructions, I'll first give you a tour of the mansion. Keep up and don't get lost."
"I'm not Emilia-tan, so don't treat me like some scatterbrain—"
"Su—ba—ru!"
Emilia puffed her cheeks at his teasing. Freshened by the way she deliberately enunciated each syllable when calling his name, Subaru grinned and pointed at her: "It's a droll party joke. If you can't even laugh off a quip like that, you'll never make a splendid queen, *Fräulein*."
"*Fräulein*? What's that…?"
"All part of your continuing education. Life is like climbing an infinite mountain path with nothing at your side. If you neglect knowledge collection—called 'item pickup' at each waypoint—forget the summit, you'll drop out around the third station, won't you?"
Emilia fell silent, her eyes wide, clearly moved by his words.
There was a certain weight to the pronouncements of a man who'd dropped out of school mid-career. Nursing his own private sting from the self-deprecating joke, Subaru turned to Ram and said: "Alright then, much as it pains me, let's be off, senpai."
"Let's, Barusu. Emilia-sama, I'll see you later."
Ram gave a small bow, pinching the hem of her skirt, then headed for the door. Subaru followed behind the girl as her peach-colored hair swayed. Emilia called after him one last time: "Subaru. Me too, but… you do your best as well."
"That's so encouraging—I'm overflowing with motivation now, you goddess, you!"
He pinched the hem of his tracksuit pants, mimicked Ram's bow, and left the dining hall after that left Emilia with a thoroughly bemused expression.
Ram had stopped in the corridor. Having witnessed Subaru's gesture, she contorted her otherwise stoic expression into the faintest of grimaces.
"The conditions expected of a maid and the conditions expected of a servant are different, you know."
"I know that. But if I'm going to do some housekeeping, I wanted to do it with elegance and panache. Hey, do you have like a uniform or something?"
Starting his life as a servant in a tracksuit felt rather underwhelming, even by his standards.
Of course, when it came to ease of movement, the tracksuit was truly second to none, but— "When you're going to be employed at a nobleman's mansion like this, you kinda yearn for something with a bit more class, you know? I think formal wear would suit me surprisingly well."
"Mm, clothing is important. Let me see—there should be something that fits just right."
"Oh nice, let's start by getting changed, then! I'm basically a 'start from the surface' kind of guy! Even when studying for exams, I'd clean my room first to get myself in the right headspace!"
And then he never came back.
Subaru flashed a thumbs-up with a grin. Ram held up the fingers of both hands, murmured "Hmm—" and surveyed him from head to toe.
That apparently sufficed to measure his size, because she nodded in satisfaction, pointed upstairs with her hand, and said: "There's a servants' waiting room on the second floor, so change in there. At your size, Frederica's clothes from when she left last month should fit you."
"Oh, she left at the perfect time, that Frederica… She's a woman, isn't she?"
"She was about your build, more or less."
"But the sex is different?"
Ram stopped mid-step and turned to give Subaru a cold look. She then sighed wearily and touched her forehead.
"I was trying to accommodate your request for elegance and panache, so what exactly is your complaint?"
"If it were Emilia-tan, maybe, but what kind of person would benefit from me in a maid outfit?! What if I awaken to some weird fetish and end up benefiting myself?! There's a possibility, so I don't want the seed planted!"
These days, ever since crashing into another world, all sorts of unexpected proclivities were sprouting up with alarming vividness.
If he opened the door to cross-dressing as well, there would be nothing left of the original blueprint that was
Subaru's shouting prompted Ram to cover her ears in reaction. She then watched him panting from the shoulders and pulled a bored expression.
"Rem really is needed to keep you in check. Let's go already."
"More of a lone wolf than me, and you've got senior written all over you."
Could anyone survive without a spine that unshakable?
Facing his first-ever professional experience in either the old world or this new one, Subaru already felt the weight of the barrier ahead, and depression settled in.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ —A digression, if you will.
"The servants' waiting room on the second floor… the ones on the west side are all fine. Pick whichever you want as your own room. I'll leave a uniform there for you."
"Got it, thanks. Let's see, then…"
Led to the second floor of the mansion and presented with a uniform and provisional quarters, Subaru surveyed the candidate rooms.
That said, the layout was presumably identical regardless of which door he chose. In that case, one closer to the stairs would be more convenient for moving around.
With that thought, he turned the knob of an arbitrary door.
"Alright, I'll take this—"
"Nii-cha, how lovely. Fluffy is the best, fluffy fluffy fluffy."
The instant it opened, he discovered a loli thoroughly petting a small cat in the middle of a library.
Sensing his presence, a slow vertical-roll gaze turned toward him. Subaru looked at Ram in the corridor and confirmed her head shaking from side to side.
He then scratched his head and addressed Beatrice directly: "Congratulations. I hereby bless the birth of a new member of the Fluff Cult!"
"Just shut the door, I said!!"
Blown away by magical force, he crashed into the corridor wall once more.
With the back of his skull throbbing and his vision swimming, even Subaru couldn't help but seethe. He stormed to the door that had just been slammed shut, intending to fling it open and unleash his grievances on the cozy scene inside. But— "You laid a hand on *my* fluff child—pay reparations, repar— huh?"
Kicking the door open amid a flurry of spit, he found only a bare-bones room furnished with nothing but a bed and a closet.
The library from moments ago was nowhere in evidence. The effect of "Door Crossing," presumably.
"Once Lady Beatrice conceals her presence, there's no telling where she is. Unless you try every door in the mansion, she won't come out on her own."
Ram said that flatly, as if daring him to concede defeat.
He felt a consoling pat on the shoulder from behind, and that sensation made Subaru…
"God, that ticked me off. Like it's *my* fault—the nerve of that attitude!"
—refuse to concede.
Breaking free of Ram's hand, Subaru spun around and dashed down the corridor at full speed. In front of Ram's wide eyes, he sprinted to the door at the very end of the hall— "It's here!"
"Fluff?!"
"Amazing, Subaru."
The girl's shriek and the gray cat's admiration.
Having witnessed the look of panic on Beatrice's face as she was once again breached through "Door Crossing," Subaru now rolled into the library immediately, determined not to be blown away this time.
A handstand into a headspring. A cartwheel into a round-off with a twist. A backflip, and finally—a magnificent backflip with a twist—he landed before the girl.
"Alright! Ten points!"
"Dust got *everywhere*!"
"It's because *you* never bothered to clean the workplace properly! And for the record, don't bring a cat into the library! That thick cover is going to get shredded by clawing!"
"My hands have been thoroughly manicured by Subaru, so it's fine~"
Beside the bickering Subaru and Beatrice, Puck murmured lazily, but neither of the quarreling pair could hear him.
And so the two of them continued exchanging shouts that echoed throughout the mansion.
Ram, arriving late at the door leading to the Forbidden Library, watched the pair's argument and murmured under her breath: "Whatever their level of harmony, at least their compatibility seems genuine."
"——There's NO WAY that's true!!"
Their synchronized shout shook the Roswaal mansion that morning.