Touching on the core of the information he'd been wanting to hear, Subaru tilted his teacup.
He let the hot tea wash down his throat, swallowing a few questions along with it and settling them in his stomach before carefully weighing what he should say next. Then— "How much of my questions are you actually willing to answer?"
"...I seem to have a rough idea, but don't get your hopes up. Given the nature of our contract, there's precious little information I can give you, Subaru-kun. I've been strictly forbidden from interfering with the 'Trial' from outside the Tomb."
"Your tone already gives off the vibe that you're scattering hints at me, but—strictly forbidden, huh?"
"————"
At his repeated pressing, Ryuzu chose silence.
Given her behavior and words up to this point, the number of people who could exert that kind of influence over her was extremely limited. Nine times out of ten, it had to be Roswaal's doing, but— "That makes it even harder to figure out what he's after. Does he want us to clear the 'Trial' or not? Is he willing to help or isn't he? I can't tell any of it."
"He'd probably say he'd prefer you arriving at that answer on your own. Ros-kun has always been a roundabout and difficult boy. He may have grown taller, but at his core, I doubt he's changed."
Perhaps because of how long she'd known him, Ryuzu spoke of Roswaal's childhood with casual familiarity. Being told he hadn't changed was a chilling prospect for Subaru, who only knew the perverted side of the man—meaning Roswaal had been like that even before his limbs had fully stretched out.
"Well, surely he was a little cuter back then. Yeah, probably, maybe."
"Ros-kun's childhood... hmm, that falls under the Mathers family's confidential records, so I can't say any more."
"Guhh, now I'm curious... wait, am I even curious? I don't really need to know that much about his personality, do I?"
Subaru crossed his arms and tilted his head, then aimed his question at the source itself: "Alright, I'll throw that one out. What I need isn't to understand his intentions—it's to know them."
"My, how nonchalant you're being again."
"There's no point worrying about things you can't change no matter how hard you try. In the end, human beings just aren't built to understand each other from zero to a hundred. And yet you still want to understand—that's what love is, I guess. And I can love
At Subaru's refreshingly blunt dismissal, Ryuzu nodded as if impressed. Then, saying "Well then," she placed a hand on her own chin: "It seems like there's hardly anything left I can talk to you about..."
"Whoa, hold on. But my question time isn't over yet—I'm still carefully feeling out the boundaries of your contract. I'm tossing Roswaal's personality out the window for now, but there are other personalities I'd like to ask the
"Hmm. Well, listening is free, so I'll hear you out. Just remember—breaking the contract doesn't just cause trouble for me. Don't you dare forget that, okay?"
The little girl leaned forward and glared up at him in a threatening manner. Honestly, she was so adorable-looking that it carried zero intimidation whatsoever, but Subaru clutched both his shoulders and shuddered with exaggerated fear, making his eyes glisten as he whined "Nooo, scary," before— "Alright, now that we've established the dynamic of terrifying perpetrator and helpless victim, it's question time."
"I don't like being made the villain out of that exchange."
"The old saying goes 'that's that and this is this.' So—Frederica and Garfiel said they were siblings, but Frederica was in the 'Sanctuary,' right?"
Subaru chided the unconvinced Ryuzu with a polite smile, then steered the conversation to the main topic. As Ryuzu's expression shifted, Subaru wagged a finger at her: "Frederica, who should've been in the 'Sanctuary,' is currently at Roswaal's mansion serving as a maid. But when I connect the dots from what I know, this situation doesn't add up."
"Hmm? How so?"
"If Frederica and Garfiel are siblings, that means she's a half-blood too. And if she's a half-blood, then with the 'Sanctuary's barrier still active, she shouldn't be able to leave."
The barrier of the 'Sanctuary' that reacts to half-blood heritage, pulling them inside and not letting them out. Its existence—which had knocked Emilia unconscious and kept Garfiel and Ryuzu locked inside for ages—remained one of the great walls standing in Subaru's way.
He'd been racking his brain trying to figure out how to deal with that wall, yet there had been an exception who'd crossed it and gone outside. Which meant— "There's either some kind of back door in the barrier. Or the barrier is a complete lie to begin with."
"A lie... that's a rather unpleasant thing to say. In truth, I have never once seen the outside world since the day I was born. All because of that barrier's existence."
"You could look at it as a cruel contract designed to deceive you, right? If the risk of actually testing it is too high, the thought of verifying it might never even occur to someone. However—"
The possibility that every resident of the 'Sanctuary' was collectively lying about the barrier's existence. Since the existence of the 'Trial' in the Tomb was confirmed without doubt, this was in reality almost impossible. And while he couldn't entirely rule out the possibility that some petty calculation about keeping the Arlam village refugees here to boost Emilia's reputation was at work— "Considering the backlash if the truth came out, the downside is way too huge—it lacks any realism. So the latter possibility gets automatically eliminated... leaving only the former."
"A back door, then. But even if you learn of it, what will you do?"
"If the back door is usable by everyone, then it might take some time, but couldn't we just let every resident of the 'Sanctuary' out through it? That way, nobody would need to take the 'Trial' at all."
Subaru made this outrageous suggestion with complete nonchalance, and Ryuzu stared at him with her mouth hanging open. Subaru held up both hands, fingers spread, and waved them side to side: "Sure, there are probably benefits to be gained from completing the 'Trial.' Honestly, having received a small boon myself, I can't deny that. But the 'Trial'—or should I say 'the Past' in this case. Even facing that 'past,' there are times and opponents where it shouldn't be forced."
"You mean Lady Emilia? But hardship doesn't choose convenient timing. When calamity comes eventually, running away now won't—"
"I didn't say anything about running away. I'm talking about a strategic withdrawal—retreating so you can prepare properly to intercept it head-on. Sure, there are times you have to fight on unfavorable ground, but isn't scrambling to secure the best possible ground also a measure of the person and those around them?"
Ryuzu tried to interject, but Subaru talked over her, piling justification upon justification for running away. Turning your back on something—refuting the notion that it was shameful.
"Even if she doesn't face it now, Emilia will eventually have to face her past. Ironic as it is, the 'Trial' forced her to remember it. So whether she buries it or swallows it whole, she has to choose. If that's the case, then my role is to create the least painful situation possible for her to do so."
"...You have a habit of trying to shield others from pain, yet you never let them escape the most painful part of all."
"If she ran away from that, that'd be a choice too. But I believe she won't do that—Emilia won't."
"How can you believe that so strongly? At the very least, I can't. After seeing her so distraught coming out of the Tomb, holding that kind of expectation—"
"Because I'm crazy about Emilia-tan."
As Ryuzu tried to pile on one denial after another, Subaru cut in with a breezy declaration.
Sure enough, the woman who had been left speechless several times already throughout this conversation froze with the most dumbfounded expression yet.
A bashful smile crept across Subaru's face at her stunned look. Scratching his cheek, he said: "I love Emilia, and I think she's super cute. And I believe that the super cute girl I love is the kind of strong person who can overcome anything—no matter how painful, no matter how hard. I trust that she'll come through. I believe it, I believe it, I believe it."
"That... that doesn't answer anything at all. No matter how much you care about someone, there are things the heart simply can't overcome. Surely even you understand th—"
"Of course I do. Emilia is a girl. She's not just the strong parts—she has weaknesses, and a lot of them are so small you'd barely notice, and some are even ugly. Those exist too."
"Are you going to admit it or not..."
"Believing that despite all those weak parts, her strong side still shines through—that's what devotion means, right?"
Devotion. In Subaru's heart, that was etched as the most powerful expression of love. He remembered the happiness of offering it wholeheartedly with everything he had. And so— "I'm going to give everything I have to Emilia. I believe she'll overcome her weak side and lift her head up, proud and strong. And I'm going to work my ass off to bring about the ending where I can smirk and say 'I was right to believe in her.'"
"...Even so, facing the most painful part of one's own heart is something only the person themselves can do."
"Obviously? I can't be at Emilia's side while she faces the 'Past.' If I existed in that 'Past,' I could've taken the hand of that girl who was crouching and crying, helped her stand up, and cheered her on with everything I had. But I'm not there. I have no involvement in what happened in the 'Past.' Even if I reach out, my hand passes right through. A TV viewer can't interfere with the drama on the screen."
It was the truth. The 'Past' was the 'Past,' and it could not be touched.
The 'Past' that Subaru believed he had faced and overcome was nothing but fiction—it hadn't reached his real parents in any way whatsoever. All he'd gotten was his own self-satisfaction.
But— "Getting something—anything—is better than getting nothing at all. I can't lend a hand to Emilia facing the 'Past' in reality. But there's no rule against my present self lending a hand to the insufficient version of myself from the past, right?"
"————"
"I can't lend my hand, but my words, my actions, my love... well, I'd be happiest if she put me first, but beyond that, she also has things she's gained from various people. At the very least, she has more to work with than Past-Emilia did. If you have more weapons at your disposal, then reaching back to the lacking 'Past' becomes possible. Isn't this 'Trial' supposed to be calibrated to that kind of challenge?"
Having experienced it firsthand, Subaru could weave the same words over and over.
"I'm going to help Emilia. I'll do everything in my power so she can overcome the 'Past' as the person she is now. If that means a back door, breaking the rules, or pay-to-win cheatery, I'll do whatever it takes. That's how I devote myself."
"What a... staggeringly selfish way to love."
"Call me neither herbivore nor carnivore—call me an omnivore!"
He snapped his fingers, flashed his teeth, gave a thumbs-up, and struck a pose with a wink.
At Subaru capping the conversation with this routine, Ryuzu let out a long, resigned sigh: "You sure know how to pile on the pretty words just to justify cheating, don't you?"
"Heh heh."
"Fool. ...I'm sorry, but I can't tell you the details of that back door. And if you're counting on it, I'm going to have to tell you now—it won't work. Frederica getting out of the 'Sanctuary' was an exception. You can't lead everyone out."
Ryuzu shook her head, denying Subaru's vision. Disappointed, Subaru let his shoulders drop as if about to collapse to his knees—except he didn't.
"Well, can't be helped. If it works out, that's a bonus. I'll take it. So then, my next question..."
"Don't give up, Subaru-kun—even though it sounds silly coming from me."
"If I broke down this easily, how many times would I have woken up inside a whale's stomach? I say it myself, but all I've got as weapons are stubbornness and love. That's it."
His cheerful resignation in the face of helplessness was refreshing to see. Subaru clapped his hands, ready to move on, facing Ryuzu's exasperated expression—which by now he'd seen countless times in the past hour.
"I know the most heroic thing would be for Emilia to fully unleash her own ability and conquer the 'Trial' head-on. But as a veteran 'Trial' challenger, Ryuzu-san, don't you have any opinions on that?"
"That's quite an unflattering way to address me. And even if you ask me, all I can say is I don't know. After all, I've never taken the 'Trial' myself—how could I possibly have the answer?"
"Huh?"
Subaru tilted his head and let out a dopey sound in response. But that was a statement that definitely couldn't be ignored. Because— "Wait—did you just say you've never taken the 'Trial'?"
"Why the sudden formality? Of course I haven't. The 'Trial' is meant for outsiders—I was never permitted to take it. The same goes for everyone else. At least in the seventy years I've known, nothing like that has ever happened. You're the first, Subaru-kun."
"No, no, no, no—that doesn't make sense! Hold on—stay, wait—this info is all over the place. Give me a minute; I need to check it against the notepad in my head."
"Five minutes. No more."
Grateful for Ryuzu's unexpected patience, Subaru pressed his fingers to his temples and desperately retraced his memories.
He went back to the day before the previous loop, then to the moment right after he'd cleared the last 'Trial,' chewing through the small discrepancies in his recollection— "Huh?"
He finally noticed that within those memories, a discrepancy that shouldn't exist had already taken shape.
His face stiffening at the realization, Subaru swallowed the question "What does this mean?" as a murmur inside his own mouth. But the seed of doubt that had surfaced could not be stopped from sprouting, extending its stem, and blooming.
In Subaru's memory, Ryuzu had said this on the eve of the 'Trial': —No one has ever taken the 'Trial.' Not once since she was born—no challenger had ever appeared.
In Subaru's memory, Ryuzu had said this right before and right after the 'Trial': —She herself had taken the 'Trial' and survived, even if she hadn't completed it. Proof that taking the challenge posed no harm.
Within a single day, her position had done a complete about-face.
If this were mere emotional inconsistency, that would be one thing. But when the content concerned actual experience and facts, it was an entirely different matter. A reversal this dramatic could only mean one of two things: information had been tampered with, or she had deliberately lied.
Subaru cast a sideways glance at her, still in his thinking posture. Ryuzu toyed with her pale pink hair while waiting for him, dangling her feet—which couldn't reach the floor—from her seat on the bed, passing the time with idle boredom. Despite the old woman inside, she looked every bit the young girl.
Given how she'd behaved until now, he didn't want to believe she was deliberately toying with him out of malice.
"When two contradictory pieces of information show up, which one do you believe?"
Subaru's usual stance when encountering conflicting information was to believe whichever one he wanted to. But when Emilia's life was on the line, he couldn't make that kind of hasty judgment. This was, quite literally, a matter of life and death. He had to be careful.
This was the third time he'd brought up the 'Trial' with Ryuzu. Once she'd said she'd taken it; twice she'd denied knowing anything about it. It wasn't a matter of majority, but perhaps her true position really was the side that claimed ignorance of the 'Trial.' Thinking about it that way, the time she'd claimed to have taken the Trial—he could view that positively as a considerate gesture to calm an anxious Subaru. But even so, a heads-up afterward would've been nice— "Maybe there was a reason she couldn't do that... or maybe the senility is kicking in..."
"You were just about to reach a very rude conclusion about me, weren't you?"
"I was trying very hard to interpret it in a positive light—please respect that effort and let us call it even, Subaru says with his signature confident face."
Ryuzu sighed at Subaru mixing lighthearted quips into his defense, then shook her head wearily.
"Did you reach a verdict after consulting your heart?"
"Not so much a verdict as a 'maybe it was something like this' conclusion. You know, Ryuzu-san, I just realized—were you maybe worrying about me? Back there, in front of the Tomb?"
"Worrying?"
Ryuzu echoed his question back. Subaru nodded, then pressed his fingertips together in a girlish gesture: "During our talks, you said you hadn't taken the 'Trial,' but in front of the Tomb you were all like 'Yeah, I took the Trial, but it wasn't that big a deal.' I just realized maybe you were being protective—or cautious?—out of concern for a scaredy-cat like me..."
"Oh—so that's what it was."
Ryuzu's voice suddenly carried the tone of someone clicking onto something. At Subaru's quizzical frown, she smiled.
"Subaru-kun, let me tell you one good thing. A special one."
"A good thing?"
"Due to the nature of my contract, I am unable to tell lies. Therefore, when asked an inconvenient question, my only option is to remain silent. There are no exceptions—it doesn't matter who it's for. I'm forbidden from lying. Not just me—every single resident of this 'Sanctuary.'"
"You... can't lie?"
At this sudden confession, Subaru could only be bewildered.
Because if that was true, it overturned the entire foundation of his thinking. No—before that, if her words were genuine, then the doubts he'd just harbored about her were contradictory in themselves.
—If she truly couldn't lie, how could she have created a situation that could only exist through lying?
"Well..."
"That's the furthest I'm allowed to go in terms of what I can say. It's impossible for you to push me any further. If I break the contract, misfortune will befall both of us. If you want to know more, don't ask me—the one who stopped here. Ask the one who went further."
She preemptively pinned him down, and Subaru had no choice but to close his mouth and fall silent.
Rejected like that, he was truly out of options—left clinging to nothing but her goodwill. But even now, she was reaching out to him.
Just picking up on that fact alone, Subaru could sense with certainty that she was not lying about wanting to be freed from this place too.
"Got it. I won't ask anymore. Let's change the subject. Anything—just something different."
"My, you're a curious one. You've figured out you can't get any real answers, and you're still willing to keep this old woman company for tea?"
"I skipped breakfast, and I've basically got nothing to do until Emilia-tan wakes up anyway. Besides, getting irritated by Roswaal, having Garfiel bear his fangs at me, and making Otto exhaust himself running around—none of that appeals right now. I'd rather deepen this precious friendship with a lolibaba."
Subaru stood up and collected the two long-cold teacups. Then, with Ryuzu's gaze following him, he headed for the kitchen.
"Don't look so worried—I did work as a servant at Roswaal's mansion for a short while, you know? They taught me how to brew tea at least."
"Hmm. Then I shall wait with expectations."
"Whoa, pressure."
He refilled the cups and handed one back to Ryuzu, settling into his original seat. They faced each other and took their first sip of the fresh brew.
"Quite skillful, that."
"Even when I brew it myself, tea leaves are still tea leaves. Oh, changing the subject—"
"I won't listen to any more about the previous topic. But in exchange... well, I'll try my best to answer any other question sincerely."
"In that case, I'll take you up on that offer."
Ryuzu looked somewhat apologetic, and Subaru exploited the opening of her youthful profile with a sly grin: "Got anything on Garfiel's weak spots? Things he hates? Stuff that'd make him pass out on sight?"
"Subaru-kun... are you aware that your way of caring for people has gotten a little twisted?"
And with that, he'd given Ryuzu the most peculiar expression of the entire hour.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ After finishing their tea, washing the cups, and putting them away, Subaru left the building—leaving behind the lonely lolibaba who said she still wanted some time alone.
He figured it had been a little longer than the hour he'd estimated. The sun, which had only recently risen into view, had climbed higher in the sky, and he could feel the temperature had warmed up enough to make things more comfortable.
Subjectively speaking, it was probably just past ten in the morning.
"If I hung the laundry out to dry, the sunlight would be just about perfect. What a waste... my first thought upon stepping outside being laundry really cements my reputation as a shut-in, huh."
Basking in the sun, and the first thing that comes to mind is hanging out clothes—the ultimate indicator of reclusiveness. What an embarrassingly on-brand result. Anyway, setting that sentiment aside— "It's about time Emilia should be waking up. She's probably feeling vulnerable after everything—when she's in that fragile state, I need to plant my existence firmly in her mind."
He made this rather calculating remark, though inwardly his feet were already moving toward her of their own volition, driven by genuine worry.
He wanted to be by her side as quickly as possible and for as long as possible, to put her at ease.
Because— "Starting tomorrow, I'll have to keep my distance again for a little while."
Sometime this afternoon, Roswaal would formally propose releasing the Arlam village refugees. Once that happened, preparations would move fast, and they'd likely leave the 'Sanctuary' by tomorrow. Subaru would have to accompany them and return to the mansion.
"If you want to know what lies beyond where I stand, don't ask the one who stopped here—ask the one who went further... What a roundabout way of putting it."
She was in a position where she couldn't even convey what she wanted to without taking such circuitous routes. He felt sorry for how troublesome that must be, but he quickened his pace anyway, sighing: "Looking forward to hearing about your no-good brother and that troublesome hometown of yours, Frederica."
It had been a while since he'd begged for reader comments, so he'd do it here: Comments, please! Retroactive thoughts about previous chapters are fine, "I like X character" reactions are great too! That character might get more screen time! Whether it's good treatment or not is a separate matter!