——The dreary, overcast sky might as well have been a mirror of Subaru's current state of mind.
Six dragon carriages lined up before the Karsten estate. Some were already loaded with villagers from Alarms——a place with that kind of name, apparently——who had fled the Roswaal domain alongside them. The last carriage, still empty, had been prepared as a special vehicle for Subaru and
The journey would be long. They hadn't brought the children along for a reason: there were mountains of things Subaru needed to discuss with Emilia along the way, and even he wasn't so tactless as to leave those two together with the kids.
"I'll miss them, though."
A voice came from behind Subaru as he quietly watched the row of dragon carriages.
He turned his head to find Crusch looking at him. Long green hair brushed by the damp wind, her eyes downcast, Subaru scratched the back of his head.
"There's no progress being made if we stay, and we can't just keep imposing on you indefinitely.——Ideally, I should be taking it easy and recovering, but..."
He opened and closed his fist, then let out a bitter smile, considering his own condition.
Looking back, Subaru had come to this estate in the first place to recover from his deteriorating health. Roswaal's hidden hand had been at play there, and irritating as it was, that clown's wish had been granted in spectacular fashion. The facade had collapsed, and the achievement itself had been trampled, but still.
"If
"I appreciate the offer, and I'm sure there's plenty I could learn. But we've got our own mountain of problems to deal with back home. The
Subaru shook his head in response to Crusch's generous words, his thoughts turning to Julius and the rest of Anastasia's camp.
Right now, if they only considered the matter of the White Whale subjugation and the Sloth subjugation, this three-way joint operation had been an overwhelming victory for Crusch's side in terms of gains versus losses.
Crusch's camp had accomplished the monumental feat of slaying the White Whale—a deed four hundred years in the making. However, the damage sustained by Crusch herself, as the faction's head, could not be taken lightly either.
The same was true for Subaru and Emilia's camp, which had served as the main force against Sloth. Having the situation progress without Roswaal, who was intimately familiar with the circumstances, was not a good sign. The damage, while not as devastating as what Crusch's faction had suffered, had left wounds far too deep for Subaru.
As for Anastasia's faction, which had lost part of its mercenary company but retained its candidate, its knight, and other fighting forces in good condition—they hadn't been the main force in either subjugation, but had played significant roles while sustaining minimal losses. That was the best kind of deal.
Given the scale of the earlier damage, both other factions were hesitating to publicly claim credit for the victory. The fact that Anastasia's faction didn't have that problem was a huge advantage.
Still, as a way of keeping Anastasia's faction in check, Subaru would need to maintain the close ties with Crusch's faction.
But to Subaru's judgment—which carried those ulterior motives—Crusch let out a listless sigh. Subaru furrowed his brow at the gesture, and she waved her hand with a slightly embarrassed expression.
"No, that was a wishy-washy thing to say. It's just...being unable to offer any meaningful help to someone to whom I owe such a tremendous debt—I can only feel ashamed of my own inadequacy..."
"Thinking of debts as something to be repaid immediately is easy for the creditor, but you don't need to worry about that when you've got your own hands full. Besides, I already got my proper compensation."
Subaru said this to the apologetic Crusch, glancing at the lead dragon carriage in the procession.
Compared to the others, it was somewhat over-decorated—a high-quality vehicle signaling VIP treatment. And pulling that honored carriage was an earth dragon—— "That's awfully generous of you. Healed an injured earth dragon and you're letting me have him as a gift?"
"Your life-saving dragon, then. The time I spent with him was short, but in terms of close calls with death, he might be the partner who's dragged me through the most of any in my life. I do worry, from
"On that point, you needn't worry."
It was Wilhelm who gently defused Subaru's words, glancing at the earth dragon. The old swordsman had been checking on the condition of the carriage Patrasche was pulling, and with an apologetic nod for interrupting their conversation, he spoke up.
"For one of the notoriously difficult Diana-lineage earth dragons to throw its body in harm's way to protect its rider—that is no common occurrence. You've earned quite the bond with him, Subaru-dono."
"I don't really remember doing anything special, though. Before the White Whale battle, when they told me to pick whichever earth dragon I liked, he just sort of stood out to me, and that was that."
Their compatibility was likely genuine. Including that factor, he'd been lucky.
If he'd been paired with any earth dragon other than Patrasche, he didn't think he would have survived the White Whale battle or the subsequent fight against Sloth. Which meant— "I can never be satisfied by any earth dragon but you... Hah! Patrasche, you lady-killer!"
Subaru ran his palm along Patrasche's smooth flank and looked up at the dragon with exaggerated swooning. Patrasche, however, gazed down at him with an expression of utter revulsion, then shook its body, trying to make Subaru jam his finger.
"Whoa—! Even as a way of hiding your embarrassment, that's too much! Jamming my finger—that hasn't happened since I wiped out with the cleaning rag in middle school! Major flashback trauma!"
"Oh my. That's just a dragon's playful way of teasing. The fact that you can bicker like this is proof of your unshakable bond."
"It doesn't look like bickering!? It's more like I'm talking and Patrasche is rejecting me with body language!"
The kind of trust forged in the heat of battle—even without words—could dissolve into this once you stepped away from the killing fields. High-maintenance personalities turned out to be surprisingly difficult to handle. Though, for all its aloof attitude, Patrasche would eventually let him pet it.
In any case— "They said I'd get credit for the White Whale subjugation, I protected Emilia and the Sloth issue, and on top of all that, I get a dragon I actually like. ...The compensation's pretty great, right?"
"You truly have no idea how momentous the slaying of the White Whale was—that humility of yours is, if nothing else, a virtue, Subaru-dono. Perhaps someday, the world will repay that great deed in a more fitting way. I look forward to that day."
"I don't think anything that grand is gonna happen. The honest truth is I was just running around wagging bait in front of a whale's snout."
Rather than modesty, this was just Subaru being honest, and Wilhelm regarded him with a gaze that was somehow fond. Feeling a tickle of embarrassment from that warmth, Subaru shook it off.
"Well, putting Patrasche aside...this means we'll be parting ways with you for a while too, Wilhelm. Take care of your wounds."
"You have my apologies for the concern.——Apparently the bleeding has stopped, now that I've moved some distance away. Someday, I will stand beside Subaru-dono again. On that day..."
Wilhelm's wound—the one that refused to close, given to him by the previous Sword Saint, Theresia. Before the fact that this old wound had reopened, the light in Wilhelm's eyes was sharp. His thoughts were fixed on the two Sin Archbishops who had attacked Crusch: Gluttony and Greed.
If something other than the White Whale had been involved in the Sword Demon's wife's death, those two—who had been the most proximate—were the prime suspects.
Subaru, too, harbored a deep grudge against Gluttony.
Someday, he would inevitably face off against them. They were the Sin Archbishops he'd least want to meet—his number one pick out of that whole lot—but Gluttony was a different story.
He had to defeat that particular Archbishop and recover all that had been taken. Crusch's memories, and above all else—— "Subaru-kun.
This from the cat-eared figure leaning out of the dragon carriage:
Not in her usual maid outfit, but clad in a light, pale-blue garment—a blue-haired girl. A girl who slept an unending sleep, her very existence forgotten by everyone around her.
The girl who had loved Subaru—and whom Subaru had been trying, so he thought, to love in return.
"She's not gonna fall off or anything, right?"
"I've taken care of that, nya. I'm a healer, you know? Though her external injuries were healed long ago, so it's hard to really call her a patient."
As Subaru gazed at her peaceful sleeping face, Ferris's tone remained light as ever. But his profile was a far cry from his usual airheaded expression—he, too, carried the sharp sting of feeling his own power fell short.
Of course, the reason he felt that powerlessness so acutely wasn't because of Rem, but because of his incomparable master.
"So you're really taking her back?"
"I'm bringing her back. There's no point staying here and resting if it's not going to cure anything...and that last part wasn't me being sarcastic toward you or anything."
"I know that, nya. Subaru-kun isn't that mean."
Ferris smiled wryly as Subaru tried to cover for his harsh words. Then, his pupils narrowed, and he held up a finger.
"But more importantly, the bigger problem here is you, Subaru-kun."
"Me?"
"Don't play dumb. You forced your Gate again, didn't you, nya? You dumped a ton of mana through a Gate that was still mid-repair. The entry and exit points must have sustained at least some damage. Feeling any fatigue?"
Subaru rolled his shoulders and neck in response.
He twisted this way and that—his external injuries had fully healed, and there was no sign of anything out of the ordinary. He jumped up and down on the spot, but nothing that matched Ferris's concern emerged.
"Hmm. Seems fine. It was a part I wasn't really using anyway. Gate or no Gate, magic's not something you use in everyday life."
"That's the kind of thinking only a non-mage would have, nya. From Ferris's perspective, not being able to use magic is an emergency on its own...but I guess if you're okay with it."
Ferris let it go, apparently giving up on further probing. But he turned back around, those big eyes of his spinning.
"However, pushing yourself is still strictly off-limits. I flushed the toxins from your body, but the Gate damage from that is still there. It needs to be repaired carefully, over time... Give it two months and see how things stand, nya."
"Two months. For a guy who went seventeen years without using magic, that's a pretty low bar."
He quipped about the diagnosis, then remembered—he'd only been in this world for less than two months. Subjectively it felt closer to four, but in real time it had been roughly a month and a half. He'd come so far.
Given everything that had happened in that time, though, he wasn't sure exactly how steep a two-month rest really was.
"Well, it's not like I'll be caught up in crisis after crisis forever... Wait, didn't that last thing I said totally smell like a flag!? I think I heard a ping!"
"Unfortunately nya, treating the head is outside Ferris's specialty, nya."
At Subaru's horrified realization, Ferris's response was ice cold.
With that, Subaru figured it was about time to wrap things up here. Then, after a moment's thought, he quietly extended his hand to Ferris.
"What's this, nya?"
"I don't think I ever properly thanked you for everything. My treatment, and honestly, there were tons of times during the White Whale and Sloth fights where things would've gone sideways without you. ...Rem, too. I'm grateful."
"That...I don't think you mean that sarcastically, but it still doesn't quite land the way you'd think, nya."
"My skill, 'Not-a-Member,' just activated. Bear with me."
It was a sincere expression of thanks, but it didn't sit well with Ferris. Still, the sentiment must have gotten through, because he clasped Subaru's hand back and they shared a proper handshake. Feeling his hand up close— "Slender fingers, small hands. Rough and callused, manly in their own way... I thought this was going to turn into some kind of bishōnen reveal, but I guess not."
"No way am I going to show Subaru-kun a disappointing reveal like that, nya! No body hair, no rough skin, entirely natural. This is the real deal."
Proudly, Ferris lifted his free hand and flashed a glimpse of white leg from beneath his skirt. The translucent beauty of those legs was boldly on display, and Subaru slumped his shoulders in exasperation.
"But you're a guy."
"That's right. Ferris is a man through and through—body and soul, nya."
"You've got that pride, but you dress like that? What does that even mean for you as a man?"
Subaru wasn't so archaic as to find effeminate dressing unacceptable—but even he could tell that Ferris's mannerisms were hurtling down the polar opposite of anything masculine.
At Subaru's question, Ferris pressed a finger to his lips and swayed his hips.
"Because Crusch-sama said this outfit suited Ferris, nya~. That each being has its own appearance, the one that makes its soul shine the brightest.——Ferris responds to Crusch-sama's words with every fiber of his being."
"But that's..."
Subaru almost said "That's something the current Crusch doesn't know," but stopped himself.
Ferris knew that already, without Subaru saying a thing. Voicing it would only cause pain, and more importantly, inflicting on him something Subaru himself couldn't stand was out of the question.
If Subaru bristled at having Rem mentioned like that, then Ferris surely didn't want to hear that kind of thing from Subaru either.
"—No matter what happens to
"...Huh?"
Without warning, it struck Subaru's eardrums with startling clarity.
Quiet. Cold. A voice frozen of all emotion. And despite just having heard it moments ago from right in front of him, it took him a beat to realize whose it was.
Ferris's face was hidden behind hair that had fallen over his forehead.
Still looking down, Ferris gripped Subaru's hand tightly.
"I will protect Crusch-sama. That is a promise."
"Fe-Ferris?"
"I said——!"
Ferris suddenly looked up, his voice bright and cheerful, as if the frozen moment had never happened. The face looking back was his usual mischievous self, making that fleeting transformation seem like a dream.
"You have to keep your promises too, Subaru-kun! Otherwise, the mana inside your body will go haywire and you'll die screaming, nya!"
"Don't smile while saying something that terrifying! And don't threaten your ally!"
"More like a death sentence?"
"That's worse! Honestly..."
Subaru pulled his hand free as if to shake the moment off and turned away from Ferris. He glanced over to see if all the commotion had stirred Rem——but that was too hopeful a wish.
He let out a small sigh, discarded the disappointment, and stepped out of the carriage. There, Emilia was exchanging words with Crusch and the others, a bundle of belongings from the estate in her arms.
"Oh, Subaru. Was Rem's bed all set up properly?"
"Yeah, Ferris handled it. Now even if Patrasche and I pull off some kind of death-defying circus act, she won't fall out."
"I don't really get that, but it sounds really bad, so please don't do any circus acts?"
"What a shame. I was hoping for some of that bridge-effect excitement to make Emilia fall for me through sheer heart-pounding terror."
A scheme consisting of nothing but a conflict of interest: the "Driving Myself to the Brink of Death to Make Emilia Think This Heart-Pounding Must Be Love!" plan.
In any case, hearing Emilia say "Rem-san" sent a barely perceptible stab of pain through Subaru's chest that he couldn't stop.
Emilia's eyes narrowed for an instant as she watched Subaru fall silent, cutting short his usual banter. But before she could comment, Ferris hopped down from the carriage behind him.
"Well, the carriages are all ready, nya. Staying any longer would just make the goodbye harder.——Crusch-sama, do you have any final words?"
"Yes, I do."
As Ferris took the lead and ushered his master forward, Crusch took a step toward them. Not wanting to be rude from above, Subaru hopped down from the carriage just as Ferris had, and stood beside Emilia. With both of them in her sight, Crusch took a deep breath, placed a hand over her heart, and spoke.
"First—I know I've said it many times, but I owe you both my deepest gratitude. Even as I lost my memories, I was able to preserve my life, and my desires from before that loss have been carried forward—all because of your cooperation. Thank you."
"N-no...there's nothing I deserve to be thanked for by Crusch-sama. I was on the sidelines for most of these past few days' events..."
"Well, Emilia-tan was basically riding coattails, but that's only because I was there doing all the heavy lifting. So rest assured—my achievements are Emilia-tan's achievements."
Subaru thumped his chest casually, covering for the flustered Emilia. Hearing this, Emilia glanced at him sideways and gave a small nod.
"Thank you.——Though I still haven't decided that I belong to you."
"Guh. The strategy of declaring my claim before a third party so she can't deny it on the spot—seen through...!?"
"You can't let your guard down for a second. ...Ah, sorry, I got sidetracked."
Emilia blew out a breath at Subaru's dramatic recoil, then turned to apologize to Crusch, whom they had left hanging. But Crusch watched their exchange with an amused expression.
"Not at all. It's lovely to see you so close—it makes me envious. I need to rebuild my rapport with Ferris and Wilhelm soon as well."
"Ferris is always wide open for Crusch-sama—heart and body, nya~!"
Hands on his cheeks, Ferris swayed back and forth like a cat. Behind him, a catboy wriggling like an octopus—Crusch accepted it all without a hint of change in her expression and offered a womanly smile.
"Let's meet again soon, without fail. I hope to maintain a warm friendship with Emilia-sama and Natsuki Subaru for a long, long time to come."
There was no falsehood in it—Subaru was sure of that.
Even stripped of her memories, her nobility had not eroded from its core. The two words "sincere integrity" that defined her way of life had no need for the ornament of lies or flattery.
Perhaps that was why Emilia's eyes went wide in surprise, her lips trembling faintly.
"I am...a rival candidate to Crusch-sama. Even if we've formed an alliance, we'll surely return to being adversaries someday."
"Yes, that's right. If Emilia-sama is a rival candidate, then I must work hard to keep up as well."
"Even so, I'm a half-elf. A silver-haired one, at that. ...Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Emilia-tan, you don't need to——"
Subaru tried to stop her—it was a question she didn't need to ask. But the earnestness and desperation in her profile stopped him. Once he understood the weight behind it, he couldn't bring himself to interject.
Emilia was asking this question in absolute sincerity. Having even a glimpse of what she carried in her heart, he couldn't bring himself to cut in carelessly.
And above all, the person she was directing this question to was
"The way a soul exists determines its worth. For oneself and for others alike—what matters most is living the most radiant life possible, a life the soul need not be ashamed of."
"————"
"That is what I used to say all the time, apparently. In a way...now that I can look at it objectively, it does come across as rather condescending, doesn't it?"
Crusch covered her mouth with her hand, biting back laughter at her past self. Emilia simply stood there, dumbfounded.
"Emilia-sama—do you consider your way of life something to be ashamed of?"
"...No. I've always lived trying to make sure that no matter what others think of me, I never come to hate myself."
"Then there is nothing to regret and nothing to fear. Polish yourself, work hard, and stay true to who you are——you possess a wonderful soul."
Crusch smiled and extended her hand—still placed over her heart—toward Emilia.
"I'm glad to have met you. There is no fear here. None at all."
"——!"
Emilia bit her lip as though feeling a pang in her chest and looked down at the offered hand. Crusch didn't rush her, simply waiting in silence.
Eventually, tentatively, Emilia's fingertips intertwined with hers, and a gentle handshake was exchanged.
"Please stay well. I look forward to seeing you again before long."
"I as well...no, I also promise to be standing tall in front of Crusch-sama by next time. Until then, please take care."
The two royal candidates vowed mutual strength, and an oath was exchanged.
Watching them from the side, Subaru felt a sense of completion fill his chest. It was a feeling only achievable through struggle, desperation, and wounds—finally earned.
Not everything had been picked up. Not every thread had been followed to its end.
"But I don't want to blame you for the reason I can't smile at a moment like this," he murmured.
He glanced at the dragon carriage, picturing the sleeping girl in his mind.
He couldn't forgive himself for using Rem as the reason to look down during this moment that deserved celebration. She wouldn't have wanted that either—or was it selfish to think so?
"Natsuki Subaru-dono, please be well also. I pray from the heart for your future endeavors, and...for her recovery."
"I'd kind of rather not be in a situation where I need to do something amazing, honestly. ...Truth is, I'm only useful as a last resort when even a cat's paw would come in handy. When it comes to Rem, this isn't just someone else's problem for you either, Crusch. I'll figure something out. I swear it."
Subaru received the hand extended toward him as well. Feeling somewhat awkward about doing a formal handshake, he covered her hand with his palm instead—a quieter gesture.
A soft, dry sound of contact, and their touch was done. Crusch blinked softly at the hand he pulled away, then said: "Let us meet again. Surely."
With those words, she and her attendants bowed crisply at the waist, and watched as Subaru and the others departed.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ——On the road back, the dragon carriages were filled with a subtly heavy air.
The carriage Patrasche pulled—a reward from Crusch—was likely another token of her gratitude. Beyond the decorations, its build was clearly expensive: the seat was plush, the interior was lustrous, and the whole thing radiated a quiet opulence.
The interior was spacious enough to seat nearly ten people comfortably, and when only three of them actually occupied that space, the emptiness was almost oppressive.
Right now, the only ones inside the carriage maintaining silence were Subaru, Emilia, and Rem—soundly asleep in her perpetual slumber. Subaru, seated beside the sleeping princess, had no intention of leaving, and Emilia—whether out of consideration for the unconscious Rem or something else—didn't seem inclined to open her mouth either.
The result was an atmosphere thick with awkwardness.
"——Mmm."
This is no good, Subaru thought, folding his arms.
Causing a scene was out of the question, but there were plenty of topics they needed to discuss. Their future stance on the royal selection, for one—and they hadn't even finished syncing up all their intelligence from the past several days that had led to the alliance with Crusch.
As for Rem's situation, with no one besides Subaru retaining any memory of her, it was painful to think about how she'd be received back at the estate. Just imagining what
"I know you're being considerate, but the brats would've made this less painful, at least..."
Among the dragon carriages heading back to the Roswaal domain were, naturally, the vehicles carrying the village children who had ridden along on the way there. The children should have been with their parents right now—the villagers had taken the initiative to separate them, knowing there were things that shouldn't be overheard. That kindness, Subaru felt, had backfired.
Now what?—As Subaru looked up, pondering his options for once— "Say, are you guys struggling because there's nothing to talk about? Because I seriously cannot handle this heavy silence thing anymore."
The one who strolled right in and blurted that out was Otto—face poking through the connecting hatch between the carriage and the driver's seat, where he served as coachman.
"How'd you even pop in like that? ...Wait, were you there this whole time?"
"What's that supposed to mean!? Of course I was here! Do you even remember the conditions under which I agreed to help you, Natsuki!?"
Otto flailed his head back and forth with an exaggerated spray of saliva, still squeezed through the hatch. Subaru cocked his head at the outburst.
"Right, right...if I recall, the deal was that you wanted me to introduce you to Roswaal. ...But, I dunno, the whole running after a man thing...is that really what you want?"
"What!? What do you take me for!?"
"A hype merchant?"
"I'm being treated like a joke!!"
Otto's eyes went wide with genuine offense, and Subaru shook his head in a helpless sort of way. Watching their exchange, Emilia's eyes went round.
"You two are...incredibly close. I'm surprised."
"Oh, come on, Emilia-tan, don't say stuff like that. Being lumped in with a money-starved ghoul like this guy... I'm a ghoul starved only for your love."
"A ghoul! He called me a ghoul! And for the record, I am not a ghoul!"
"Otto, pipe down."
Subaru sighed at the traveling merchant's commotion, stood up, and marched forward. Grabbing the hatch cover— "Hey, hey