"I sort of get it, but... only Tenma would get away with putting a noble heir to work like that."
Albert sighed with an exasperated look after hearing my explanation. In response, Cain—the main subject of this whole affair—gave a wry smile, while Lion left the two of them to handle things and went off to enjoy the barbecue alongside Mark and the others.
"Well, I don't mind being a decoy. I'd already heard about Amy from my father, and he told me to help her out if anything came up."
As he spoke, Cain began patting Amy on the head. Amy was startled at having an older man suddenly ruffle her hair, but she didn't seem to mind it one bit. Seeing this, Tida grew flustered and—for some reason—kept glancing over at me.
"Cain, why are you petting that girl? Could she be your type?"
The one who showed up in the middle of this situation was none other than Lion—the spineless meathead of the Three Idiots. At his words, Tida and I silently cheered "Now that's a question worth asking!" as we waited for Cain's response.
"No, it's not that! It's just that I almost never get the chance to interact with girls this much younger than me. She's sort of like a little sister to me... My family has a younger brother who's, well,
like that,
so..."
"Ah... sorry about that."
"Seriously. I've got an arranged marriage coming up, and if I ever made a move on Amy, it would be the end of me in every sense of the word... socially and physically."
Cain was indignant at Lion's question, but there was something in his words that we couldn't overlook.
"Huh? Cain, you're going through with an arranged marriage?"
"That's right."
Cain answered nonchalantly to Lion's clueless question. At his words, all of us were quite taken aback, but the most stunned of all had to be Kurif. He was so shocked his eyes looked ready to pop out of his head. It was probably because he collected noble intel as both a hobby and for practical purposes, yet here was information he didn't know popping up out of nowhere in the most unexpected place. It was such a rare spectacle that if I'd had a smartphone on me, I would have taken a burst of photos, saved them, and then made backups on top of that.
"I should probably start thinking about the future. Ideally, I'd like to have children by the time I inherit the Samons family, but at the very least, I should get married beforehand... Apparently, if something happens and I suddenly become head of the household without a spouse, it causes all sorts of trouble."
He added something along the lines of "Really, it's already overdue..." while delivering the whole thing in his usual dead-serious manner.
"So you've finally started thinking that way, have you?"
The one who reacted first to Cain's declaration was Albert. I was wondering why he'd word it that way when...
"Lord Tenma, Lord Albert already has a fiancée. As I recall, she's the eldest daughter of an earl's house."
Kurif whispered immediately, as though seizing the chance to redeem his honor.
From Albert's standpoint, having one or two fiancées wasn't exactly unusual, but—
when you considered that he already had a fiancée yet the three of them still went around doing idiotic things together, you couldn't help but feel a little sympathy for Albert's fiancée—someone he'd never even met.
"Let's set aside the question of your futures for now...
the meeting with Amy was a success—or rather, you're saying she'll back me up if the need arises?"
Beating around the bush with these three would be a hassle, so I decided to ask straight out.
I was a bit curious about why Lion hadn't said a word this whole time, but whether the purpose of bringing all three of them here would actually be achieved mattered more—so I ignored it and asked. And sure enough, Albert and Cain nodded more readily than I'd expected.
"Speaking both for myself and for House Duke Sanga, I promise to stand behind Tenma's disciple. However, only within limits that won't harm the ducal house."
"House Marquis Samons will naturally stand behind Amy as well.
She belongs to the Tamer's Guild, and on top of that, my father holds the position of guild representative—so in a sense, she's already part of the Royalist Faction."
Both of them, despite harboring certain reservations, promised to back Amy.
Naturally, this was contingent on me not leaving the Royalist Faction—but having that as a condition would give the two of them a pretext to become Amy's backers.
That way, even if other nobles raised objections, they could justify it as "keeping the Dragon Slayer and the Sage tied to the Royalist Faction."
"So, what about you, Lion?"
"I'm not convinced..."
At Cain's words, Lion—who until now hadn't made a single move—slowly opened his mouth.
And what came out were words of refusal.
"No, I'm not saying you have to, but wouldn't this benefit House Haust as well?"
At Albert's words, Lion's eyes went wide as he glared at Albert and Cain.
"That's not the point! When you think about our relationship with Tenma, we should be the ones begging to be that child's backer! What I'm trying to say is, why are there marriage proposals coming for not just Albert, but Cain too?! And not a single one for me!"
"So that's what this is about!"
Hearing Lion's inner scream, I couldn't help but give a retort. When you considered my relationship with House Haust — or rather, the relationship the world believed existed — the matter of Amy could indeed help improve things from Lion's perspective, so it would be strange to refuse. Even so, I was thinking, "Is it to the point that Lion wants to scream about not receiving any marriage proposals?" when, for some reason, Amour stepped in front of Lion.
"That can't be helped. The other two here just need to stay quiet and still, and there's no problem. But even when Lion stays quiet and still, he's suffocating! Any woman who doesn't know either of them would clearly pick the other two!"
Amour pointed sharply at Lion and laid down the
facts.
At those words, Lion froze solid as a stone in shock, Cain collapsed clutching his belly in a fit of loud laughter, and Albert covered his mouth with his hand, barely holding back his laughter. And naturally, all of us who had been listening nearby — Uncle Mark and the others included — burst out laughing. Kurif and Aina, true to form, didn't make a loud show of it, but they were visibly struggling to contain their laughter.
"W-well, setting aside the fact that Lion isn't popular, the question is how we tie the three of them to Amy... If we don't make those people harassing her understand the relationship between Amy and the three of them, it's pointless."
Steering the conversation forcibly back to the main topic, I left Lion still immobilized by Amour's verbal barrage and asked Albert and Cain. The two of them were also struggling to compose themselves, but between gasps for breath, they began thinking seriously. And the answer they came up with was...
"The three of us will go to the academy under the pretext of scouting potential future colleagues and retainers. We'll need to tell the headmaster the truth, but we can fool the other staff with that cover story. While we're there observing, we'll
happen to
visit Lady Tida's class, which is holding an outdoor lesson, notice Amy's presence, and strike up a conversation."
"At that point, I'll mention that my father asked me to help Amy. We'll subtly hint through Amy that we want to bring Tenma into the fold, and once Albert and Lion catch on, they'll try to stop it by each pulling Amy toward their own side. That creates a three-way standoff, and ultimately, all three houses becoming Amy's supporters means we all curry favor with Tenma at the same time — that's how we settle it."
Without taking much time for a detailed discussion, the two of them had mapped out the direction and approach. They'd probably need to flesh out the details a bit more, but even as is, the plan seemed quite workable.
"But wouldn't it be too obvious if we suddenly show up, start fighting over her, and then resolve the problem ourselves?"
I figured all we needed to do was make it clear that Amy had multiple powerful allies, so even if the students harassing her caught on, it wouldn't matter. But among those students, some could genuinely become colleagues or subordinates in the future. If word reached their families that the three of us didn't get along, or that we'd been fighting in front of the students, they might use that as evidence to try to fracture the Royalist Faction. Those close to the three of us probably wouldn't pay it mind, but the farther out you went, the more people would believe it, and some might lose faith in the Royalist Faction's future and defect to the Reformists.
When I brought this up, the two of them agreed it was a problem and began considering alternatives, but...
"Then isn't fighting unnecessary? All you have to do is make it look like the three of you are on good terms with Amy."
To my surprise, those words came from Luna. It was true — if all they needed to do was appear friendly, there was no need to fight. But the real question was how to pull that off, and...
"Just have your big brother stop it, right? This whole thing is his fault to begin with — he should take responsibility."
And once again, a proposal came from Luna. If there was anyone who could stop the three of them on the spot, it would have to be Tida — the Crown Prince.
"That's not bad, is it? If Tida stopped them right when things were about to turn hostile, the whole incident would look like nothing more than a petty squabble — and that much is routine for nobles. Besides, it might make the students present believe that Tida has the stature to keep even those three older students — future key figures of the Royalist Faction — in check."
"On top of that, it would make them think that those three, who want to curry favor with Tenma, and Tida — who has the composure to restrain them — are both backing Amy... Even if the students can't fully grasp the implications, they'll likely pass the story on to their families, so there's a high chance the parents will tell them not to mess with Amy — or better yet, to get on her good side."
"Students will probably come flattering Amy, but those who harass her will virtually disappear — assuming they're not completely unhinged, that is... Just to confirm, not every student in the class is harassing you, right?"
"No. There aren't many, but I do have friends in class."
To Cain's question, Amy — who had been listening silently until now — answered. According to her, with those friends and Tida stepping in, students harboring bad intentions wouldn't be able to get close. I wondered whether those friends really had that kind of power, but she explained that among those currently trying to befriend Amy, some genuinely meant it, while others — nobles in particular — were conscious of me standing behind her as her guardian, and so—
Tida—
—if you add his backing on top of that, they wouldn't be able to act so easily. Of course, all of this was done without Amy's knowledge.
In any case, our business with Lion and the others was now concluded, and I was about to hand them their gifts and send them off. But since they had nothing else to do and could enjoy good food, the three of them ended up staying put. Amy and the others still had time before the academy dormitory curfew, so they joined the uncles for the barbecue and played in the garden afterward.
"Meeeeeh!"
"Nyawa!"
Their playmates were Merry and the rest — and it was Luna who had just been body-slammed by Merry and sent tumbling across the ground. For the record, when Merry had looked at Amy, Tida, and Luna, she had charged at Luna without a moment's hesitation... The conclusion, it seemed, was that of the three, Luna was the weakest. Though, having been knocked over, Luna just laughed excitedly and went barreling right back at Merry for a rematch — so maybe they got along better than expected.
"Fugah!"
...This time, she took a body-slam straight to the face, but...
"Teacher, we milked a lot!"
After watching Luna and Merry for a while, Amy and Tida came over carrying buckets of milk. The two had apparently gone to see Juu-bei and the others, and had asked Aunt Martha to milk Hiro.
Milk, being bovine mammary secretion, shouldn't come from a cow that isn't pregnant under normal circumstances. But cows in this world apparently keep storing the nutrients from their feed inside their bodies, and once the capacity is exceeded, the body naturally tries to expel the surplus. As a result, the cow either naturally burns through the excess via fasting or produces more waste — undigested matter — and females expel it in the form of milk on top of that.
"Good work. That needs to be boiled before you can drink it, but if you want some, just ask Aina — she'll bring you some that's been made safe."
Even with the 'Purification' magic available for sterilization, it wasn't foolproof, and there was always the off chance something could go wrong. There was no reason to take the risk of drinking unsterilized milk on purpose. Well, for me and the old man, it probably wouldn't upset our stomachs — and sure enough, when I'd tried it before, I'd been fine.
"If you train your body, you'll naturally build up resistance over time, and then I'll let you drink the milk when it's in an even better state. Or, you could learn to use the 'Purification' magic yourself. Though that would be entirely at your own risk, of course."
Chapter 112. The White-Furred Wild Ox's Milk
When they heard there was even more delicious milk, the two of them made envious faces, but when I told them I absolutely wouldn't let them have any until they met the conditions, they got fired up about learning the 'Purification' magic. Certainly, learning magic might be faster than training the body.
"Well, I'll be fine then. I train my body, so a little something like this isn't going to upset my stomach!"
Lion cut in from the side with that, but...
"That's a no, obviously. Since I already told the two of you no, I'm not going to sit here and drink it right in front of you."
"You wouldn't really do that, Lion."
"What a sore loser."
When I refused, Cain and Albert also agreed. It wasn't just Lion; these two were interested in the White-furred wild ox's milk too, and had been listening in.
"Aina, Aura, bring the boiled milk."
Not just Amy and the others, but Albert and the rest had heard the milk was drinkable and had started waiting nearby. When Luna saw everyone gathering and came over to me while forcibly holding the thrashing Merrie, and heard the milk was ready, she was so happy she let go of Merrie with one hand, and Merrie fell to the ground.
The fallen Merrie bounced a few times on the floor, rolled, and came to a stop right in front of Lion.
"Oh! This is Tenma's new livestock? Surprisingly pretty fur!"
The moment Lion squatted down to pet Merrie, who had rolled to his feet, the tragedy occurred.
"Meh!"
"Ugh... I can't... breathe..."
The tragedy was caused by three things: 'Lion spreading his legs and squatting,' 'Merrie, who had been stress-loaded from being forcibly held up for the past day or two,' and 'the fact that Merrie's head height aligned perfectly with Lion's crotch.' In other words, Lion took a direct headbutt to the groin from Merrie.
"Whoa..." "Whoow..." "Whoa..." "Whooaa..."
The men present (me, Tida, Albert, and Cain), witnessing the tragedy unfold before their eyes, moved to get their own groins out of Merrie's line of fire before they even worried about Lion.
"Meh! Meh! Meeeh!"
Mary, oblivious to our deliberate retreat, followed up by body-checking Lion again. Fortunately, Lion was lying face-down, so he was spared from a follow-up strike to the groin (which consisted of being kicked with her front hooves).
"Whoa... my groin just went all *whoosh*."
"We have to help Lion!"
"It's all right, Lady Tida! That guy's tougher than most, and his brain can't possibly get any worse than it already is. If anything, getting too close right now would be dangerous—for *our* groins!"
Tida was the only one who moved to help Lion, but Albert explained the danger of approaching while badmouthing Lion, and Cain had already casually retreated behind me.
"Meeeeh... meh!"
Mary continued kicking Lion for a while longer, then finally stepped on his head and let out a cry that sounded like "I'll let you off the hook this time!" before walking away.
"She's gone..."
"Lion, are you okay?"
"Um... is he alive?"
"Just to be safe, should we douse him with a potion?"
Once we confirmed that Mary had moved away from Lion, we checked on his condition—and he wasn't moving a muscle, to the point where we wondered if he was even breathing. I checked for a pulse at his neck, then pulled an old potion out of my Magic Bag and sprinkled its contents over Lion, from his head down to his groin.
"Ugh... m-my groin..."
"Is it crushed?"
The cold of the potion brought Lion back to consciousness. He tried to sit up, only to be reminded of the pain in his groin. Hearing my words, he frantically checked himself down there, but it seemed to be intact, and he looked relieved.
"Now that you're relaxed, the pain's gonna hit again..."
"Here."
I handed the remaining old potion to Lion, who had started clutching his groin again. He complained, "Don't just give me medicine—heal me with magic!" but I had no intention of touching Lion's groin, so I refused outright. Even Lion himself seemed hesitant to pour the potion directly onto his groin on the spot, so instead of applying it, he drank the whole thing.
"Ah... I think it's starting to work..."
It was an old potion, but since it had been stored in the Magic Bag, it hadn't degraded at all. So I decided to call it "Old Potion" and handed the rest over to Lion as a consolation prize.
"Unexpectedly, there's still a good amount left."
There were about twenty small bottles of the old potion—each roughly 200 ml—and Lion promptly downed five of them right after receiving them. Drinking a lot wouldn't actually speed up his recovery, but they say illness is all in the head, so if Lion mistakenly believed that the more he drank, the faster he'd recover, it might at least take his mind off the pain a little.
"Lord Tenma, I've brought the milk and cheese."
The moment Lion finished drinking the old potions, Aina and Aura arrived from the kitchen with milk from Hiro and cheese made from that milk. This cheese was one of the first experimental batches that the old guys had gotten an acquaintance to make, and I'd received it as my share—the portion for the person who provided the materials. They hadn't aged it much, but the quality of the milk was excellent, and the cheese itself had very little of that strong, pungent flavor. In its current state, it was already quite
high-quality
cheese.
"Sensei, it's incredibly delicious!"
"Maybe it's because of how well it was preserved, but it tastes even better than the one we had at home."
"Pfu~... Another round! Hot this time!"
"Me too!"
Hearing Luna and Amour's unabashed requests, Aina checked with me first and then went to get refills. At that point, Amy and Tida also looked like they wanted hot milk, so when Aina came to confirm, I told her to put enough for everyone in a pot and bring it back. When she told the two of them that there were refills for everyone, they were thrilled.
"Cheese really makes you want wine."
"The cheese is great too, but the milk is on a whole different level from anything we've had before. As expected of White-furred wild ox."
"..."
Unlike Amy and the others, the Three Idiots savored the milk and cheese and exchanged their impressions. However, only Albert and Cain were the ones sharing their thoughts—Lion just nodded occasionally with a vaguely uneasy expression. Even after drinking the hot milk Aina brought over, that didn't change. Because...
"My stomach's so full, I can barely taste anything..."
It was the side effect of drinking too much old potion plus overdoing it at the barbecue—his stomach was so stuffed that he couldn't tell the difference between the regular milk and cheese he'd had countless times before and the milk and cheese from the White-furred wild ox.
There was nothing that could be done about that. After they finished drinking, Albert and Cain brought up wanting to purchase milk and cheese (though I immediately turned them down on the cheese since there wasn't much of it). Lion, however, couldn't quite grasp the value of the milk and cheese, so he only bought a small amount of milk to taste once he'd recovered later. I heard he regretted that after getting home.
Incidentally, Lion came by the next day saying he wanted to buy milk, but the surplus had already been bought up by Albert and Cain the day before, leaving none. On top of that, Hiro wasn't producing any new milk (according to Aunt Martha's assessment, he probably wouldn't produce any for a few days), so Lion had no choice but to reluctantly give up on the milk and go home.