A moment later.
"All right. Hah. It's safe now."
I said, breathing in rough gasps.
"Ahem."
"Ahem…."
The adventurers were conspicuously cautious now. Compared to earlier, when they had looked like they would swallow gold coins whole, the difference was night and day. They were yielding to each other — "you go first," "no, you go first." I had to struggle not to burst out laughing.
"Oh, come on! What a bunch of cowards."
Immediately, Reef, the de facto leader, stepped forward.
"What the hell do you even need that thing between your legs for! I oughta just jam an axe into your backside and be done with it. I was strutting around thinking I'd be tackling dungeons with the likes of you — pathetic, truly pathetic!"
He growled.
"And you, Cyclops. How many years have you been running with me, and now you're hiding behind a bunch of rookies? Well, well. And your ugly mug still looks perfectly intact, doesn't it?"
"Reef, it's just that this is my first time using dark magic, too…"
"Oh, so squeezing out of your mother's womb wasn't your first time either, yet you were so damn good at it? Name one thing in this world you've done for the first time! A senior getting cold feet — tch."
Reef glared at each of the adventurers in turn, then walked straight to the pile of gold coins without a shred of hesitation. He reached out and grabbed a fistful. Then he turned back to his companions.
"See? There's no curse anywhere. You bastards…."
Reef grinned. His bear-like face wearing a sleazy smirk made him look every bit the thug. The adventurers seemed cowed by his display, glancing away in every direction and avoiding eye contact.
I, on the other hand, was doing my absolute best not to laugh. Perhaps because his Affinity with me had risen past a certain threshold, I could now see Reef's Status Window displaying his psychological state.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Name: Reef
Race: Human Affiliation: Jalsen Village
Attribute: Neutral (-15)
Level: 3 Reputation: 2
Jobs: Lumberjack (B), Farmer (D), Adventurer (F)
Leadership: 15 Strength: 30 Intelligence: 4
Politics: 2 Charm: 6 Technique: 21
Affinity: 21
Current Mental State: 'Damn it, I nearly crapped myself... I hate magic more than anything in the world! Ugh, my legs are still shaking.'
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
'Pfft!'
Reef was no different from those other adventurers who shuddered at the word "magic." He'd only stepped up because of his role as party leader. If anything, he was just the type who couldn't stand losing face. Either way, these stats were pretty sorry—on par with Dantalion's, honestly. If this were a game, I'd bet that defeating these adventurers was supposed to be my tutorial.
The adventurers subtly edged closer to the pile of gold. Reef snorted. They looked sheepish, yet their eyes gleamed with raw greed as they stared at the coins. Worried that someone might grab more than their fair share, they began counting each gold piece one by one in front of everyone.
Reef let out a satisfied laugh.
"Heh, 489 gold."
The adventurers divided the loot fifteen ways, each pocketing 32 gold. I wasn't familiar with local prices, so I had no idea how substantial 32 gold really was, but judging by the elation spreading across their faces, they'd clearly scored big. Since the total didn't divide evenly, 9 gold was left over, and Reef swept it up as though it were the most natural thing in the world. A few of them scowled at that, but nobody dared say a word out loud. They'd already lost the will to push back.
I spoke up cautiously.
"Excuse me. I know you're busy, but there's something I need to tell you."
"Hm? Yeah, go ahead."
The adventurers responded half-heartedly. They were too busy cramming gold into their bags and shoes. One guy even stuffed a handful of coins into his pant waistband—an act that practically begged for a gag—but I kept my composure and delivered my message.
"The situation we were both worried about has just come to pass. Another adventurer party has entered the dungeon."
The bustling hands of the adventurers fell still.
"What?"
"They must have no monsters to slow them down—they're approaching the Demon Lord's room at breakneck speed. At this rate, they'll arrive within an hour."
"What kind of bullshit is that?!"
The adventurer nicknamed One-Eye shouted.
I remained unfazed and calmly explained.
"As you've all seen, I can use all sorts of magic related to the dungeon—after all, I'm its master. That's also how I was able to summon gold. I also have an early-warning spell. In other words..."
I deliberately let my words trail off. I wanted to give the impression that I found this situation regrettable.
"It's a spell that automatically alerts me whenever someone invades the dungeon. The alarm just went off. A total of twenty-five adventurers have entered my dungeon..."
The adventurers grew agitated.
"Whoa. Boss, this player is something else. Check it out."
A young blond man pointed at a monitor screen. With his other hand, he sucked on an apple juice pouch with loud slurping noises.
A woman sitting a short distance away from him went "Huh?" in response. She had sunk deep into her chair with both feet propped up on the desk. She was completely absorbed in a comic book and was not pleased by the young man's interruption.
"Who?"
"You know—the guy the Boss got ticked off at and chewed out the other day."
"Oh, Lolli Latte?"
The woman spoke in a bored tone. Just thinking about the events of a few days ago made her anger flare up.
"That guy's a pervert, all right. He actually cleared Bael's Demon Lord's Castle."
"Bael's Great Demon Lord's Castle? A Dungeon Attack?"
The young man was dumbfounded. Bael's Great Demon Lord's Castle was an impregnable fortress that even he had never managed to clear. Then again, it hadn't exactly been built to be beaten in the first place, so that was only natural.
"Heavens, he's an S-class player!"
"S-class my ass. Lucky bastard."
The woman closed the manga.
"The nerve, complaining to me—the lead developer—about how the system should work. You don't look the part, so I sent you packing with one hit."
"Don't tell me... Director, you didn't let him play without a contract, did you?"
"Hah, like a puppy worrying about a tiger. Do I look like this is my first time running a business?"
She gave a greasy smile. A sense of unease washed over the young man. Whenever she smiled like that, something always went wrong. And the one who had to deal with the fallout was, unfairly, not her, but him. Hadn't they always said bad feelings come true? The woman gave the answer he wanted least.
"Of course I snuck him in through the back door."
"That's corruption... a colossal act of corruption, being committed right in front of me..."
The young man's head began to ache. His supervisor was highly competent but often lost her reason. To be honest, very often. And he was the one who had to find the things she lost. How utterly unreasonable!
Looking back, that's exactly how it happened. The incident occurred yesterday. As usual, the Director had been sitting at her computer with a blank expression. Then, suddenly, she'd gotten excited and started hammering away at the keyboard for over four hours. Just another pointless keyboard battle, he'd thought dismissively. The problem was what came next.
*'Ugh! So annoying!'*
The Director had jumped up and grabbed her perfectly good hair. She groaned in a strange voice for a while, then sat back down. She typed something on the keyboard, then quickly left the office.
The Director returned in ten minutes. The young man's gaze asked what new mess she'd gotten into this time, and she smiled brightly, her face looking refreshed.
*'Work's done.'*
Her voice sounded like a five-year case of constipation had been completely cleared up. When asked what happened, she'd sent someone away using the Reincarnation Truck—which was the Director's nickname for her own beloved car. The young man personally thought the Director's naming sense was the absolute worst.
The blond young man clicked his tongue inwardly.
*'Tsk tsk! With a personality like that, no wonder she got demoted from HQ.'*
What was the point of exceptional development skills? When your personality was so awful even a dog would bow and call you 'brother'! But now, hearing the story, it seemed she had used a method bordering on a loophole to obtain the player's consent.
"Director, if this gets back to HQ, you could face disciplinary action..."
"Ugh, seriously. I already got their consent and even gave them a friendly warning. No problem there."
"That's how we see it. But what if the player files a complaint with HQ? Once that person clears *Dungeon Defense*, HQ is sure to send someone."
"Clear it?"
The woman grinned.
"Good luck with that. I set it to Madness Mode."
"Damn."
Not only was the player the weakest possible unit, but she'd also set it to the hardest difficulty in history!?
*'S-scary woman…'*
The young man shuddered. Despite her pretty looks, the woman before him was utterly devoid of forgiveness, mercy, or consideration.
She pulled out a new manga volume. Speaking as if it were no big deal, she continued.
"If they still manage to clear it, then well, I'll bow down and beg. Say, 'Please forgive me~'. I wouldn't even mind kissing their toes. At that point, they'd really be a top-tier player."
As if that would ever happen. With a small smirk, she lost herself in her manga again.
The young man looked at the monitor. There, a man who had lost his right foot was struggling onward. At first, he'd thought the player chosen by the Director had terribly low stats, but it turned out she had deliberately set both abilities and skills to be as low as possible. Poor guy.
*'Hang in there, nameless human. Chop-chop.'*
The young man finished sucking the last of his apple juice pouch.
Behind him, he heard the woman's angry voice. She was throwing a fit, demanding to know how Whitebeard could possibly die. Watching her scream about running over the author with a truck, the young man wondered how to calm her down this time. He couldn't afford to increase the victim count any further.
Inside the Demon Lord's Castle, a fierce argument raged. The faction advocating to stand and fight clashed head-on with the group pushing for retreat.
"Ah, I'm saying we hole up and fortify this room in the Demon Lord's Castle!"
"Are you insane? There are twenty-five of them, twenty-five. We can't match them in numbers. If you want to fight, you go fight. I'm out."
"Hah! So you're talking about running away now?"
Rif shouted furiously. But One-Eye glared right back at him, refusing to back down. With the two oldest members of the party raising their voices, the rest kept quiet for now, listening to the argument.
"Either way, I already agreed to participate in the dungeon raid. And we've already cleared it. I'm all for smashing the hell out of monsters, but I've never once heard anything about fighting other adventurers."
"You traitor bastard!"
"Rif. Calm down and think this through."
One-Eye looked around at the group.
"Maybe we've got experience, but the rest of these kids are greenhorns who've never set foot in a dungeon before. Up until yesterday, they were out in the fields prepping for spring planting. You think we're taking down the Demon Lord because of our own skill? What a joke. The only reason this place was swept clean is because other parties came through first. All we did was pick up the scraps that fell off the table. Expecting them to fight twenty-five enemies is suicide. They'll get themselves killed."
"The coward sure has a silver tongue. I've always heard that eunuchs were smooth talkers."
Rif grabbed his hand axe.
"Shut up and do what I say, you cowards. You have no idea what you're talking about. In the world of adventurers, once you're seen as a joke, you're done for. You cleared a dungeon but you're too scared of another party to stand your ground? Ha. I'd rather bury you all myself than watch you live like that."
"You idiot...!"
One-Eye gripped his spear. The situation was on the verge of exploding.