It happened one morning.
"......"
"......"
Laura and I froze. We stared at each other's bodies.
No — stared isn't quite the word. We simply couldn't look away. We tried to turn our heads, but our muscles refused to move, as though they'd turned to stone. Astonishment, shock, disbelief, self-loathing, embarrassment, and a dozen other muddled emotions ebb and flowed between us like the tide. If we had merely been looking at each other, there would have been no reason to feel this awkward. In other words, Laura and I were not merely looking at each other.
We were both naked. Completely, utterly naked, with not a single thread between us.
Wait.
Let me explain first.
This was entirely an accidental occurrence. I had absolutely no indecent intention of spying on the naked body of my one and only vassal.
Even if Laura was very beautiful, and even if my heart occasionally fluttered around her or surges of desire welled up — and to be honest, it wasn't "occasionally" so much as "quite often" — I had no intention whatsoever of forcing my way to a view of her naked form! I swear it. She was a human being before she was my subordinate. Naturally, she deserved to have her wishes respected.
If I treated a subordinate as someone I could boss around at will, I'd be nothing more than a trash tyrant — one who couldn't even complain if stabbed in the back by their own vassals. Who would ever follow a tyrant sincerely? For the sake of my own survival and prosperity, I needed to treasure Laura. No — more than anything, Laura was only sixteen years old! In my original world, that made her a third-year middle school student… I have no interest in children. Truly.
To prove my unimpeachable purity, I first need to explain the dungeon's facilities.
The Demon Lord's Castle had no bathing facilities whatsoever.
Monsters didn't need baths, and neither did I. I no longer produced waste like sweat. After becoming the Demon Lord, I no longer needed to eat or wash. Two or three hours of sleep per day was more than enough. It was extraordinarily convenient. The only reason I ever ate or washed was to indulge in a small luxury.
This morning was no different.
Having spent the entire night contemplating the advance our Demon Lord's army would make next, I decided to clear my head and headed for the underground lake beneath the lake. The naturally formed underground pool had crystal-clear water, with no insects or aquatic life inhabiting it. Apparently, the reason was an excess of mana pooling there, but regardless, it was perfect for bathing.
Loose fragments of magic stone lay scattered throughout the water, sending pale blue ribbons of light rising from the lakebed to the surface. The heat radiating from the magic stones kept the water at just the right warm temperature. Diving into that blue pool, swimming lazily, and admiring the stalactites that had grown around the spring — the experience was so magical and pleasant that it truly felt like the closest thing to paradise one could find in life.
Who could blame me for stripping off my clothes in childish excitement the moment I laid eyes on that blue pool — ?
And as I approached the water's edge, Laura erupted from below the surface with a splash, as if she had been waiting for me.
Not a single ray of sunlight entered the cave. Yet the clusters of blue light glowing up from beneath the water made the girl's naked form clearly visible, if faintly. Laura's long golden hair swayed and rippled.
I froze.
My cool-headed brain processed the situation in an instant. The worm-like selves residing inside my skull each raised their voices, offering their own opinions on the current crisis. My brain spun with a ferocity rivaled only by the time we'd welcomed Leaf's adventuring party.
'Laura was taking a bath in here.'
'Even a genius has a normal human body, so naturally she needs to bathe now and then.'
'So that's why she always smells so sweet — she washes every day……'
'You idiot! Now is not the time for that kind of thinking! This is a crisis, an emergency! We need to activate DEFCON 2 immediately!'
'True, there aren't exactly bathing facilities in the dungeon. Looking back, I failed to accommodate Laura, who's human. How about we start considering facilities for humans from now on?'
'In my opinion……it would be best to simply wait in silence. It's not exactly a sight you get to see every day, is it? Let's enjoy this opportunity to the fullest.'
'Hold on. These opinions are all over the place right now. There are three options: run away, make an excuse, or just bathe together as we are. And I'd like to add that, personally, the third option seems most appropriate. Don't dismiss this suggestion too lightly — it's a conclusion reached after much deliberation.'
'I've only just now realized that every last one of us is a complete imbecile. Shut up and come up with a plausible excuse. The person over there is a duke's daughter, you ignorant fools! I know you lot lived carefree lives in a classless society, which is how you ended up so ignorant about this world, but even so……'
'Hmm, sorry to interrupt the meeting, but I'd like to point out that everything I've heard so far sounds like woof woof! bark bark! yip yip! to me.'
'Woof woof! Bark bark! Yip yip!'
'Fine. It's now abundantly clear that we are, for the most part, a pack of bastards.'
'That's the best news I've heard in a while!'
'This is just an observation, but — we've been standing here staring at Laura's naked body in complete silence for quite a while now. If my senses aren't failing me, roughly a minute has passed. Congratulations. In the end, out of three options, you chose none of them and went with the worst option of all: just standing here like a statue. I don't even have the energy left to marvel at my own stupidity.'
As you can see, I was sinking into a magnificent maelstrom of confusion.
The fact that I was attempting to facilitate communication between conceptual entities made it painfully clear that my mental state was spiraling dangerously out of control. It meant my psyche was that unstable, but right now, that wasn't important.
"……."
"……."
I couldn't tear my eyes away from Laura's naked form.
A soft blue light traced along her gentle curves. A woman who looked like a hydrangea after a summer rain stood there. Despite being only sixteen, Laura's body was far from a girl's. She already had a fully developed figure.
Her snow-white skin was a delicacy. Beneath the pale flesh, a modest layer of muscle lent it a firm elasticity. That taut, supple skin was drenched in moisture. Droplets slid lazily down in glistening trails.
"……My Lord."
Laura took a step toward me.
My heart hammered in my chest.
With each step she took, more of her body emerged above the waterline.
A slender, cinched waist that flowed into the smooth swell of her hips, and below that, thighs and calves unmistakably honed by years of horseback riding — all taut and firm. The most private place between the young woman's legs caught a brief glimmer of the light reflected off the pond.
At last, Laura stood right in front of me.
Water had pooled in the slight hollow of her collarbones. From her body, water traced tiny rivulets as it slid downward. From her nipples, her fingertips, her hips, droplets fell and drenched the cave floor in a steady patter.
The fragrance of a young woman freshly soaked in moisture…… wafted thickly toward me.
My senses began to blur.
"My Lord."
From between her slightly parted lips, the scent of rain escaped once more. It wasn't a fragrance I smelled with my nose — it reached me through my ears. Amid the quiet drip of water trailing down stalactites, Laura's voice struck the cave walls and spread ever lower.
Had I just heard the sound of dripping from a stalactite — or the sound of me swallowing?
In the silence and the tension, Laura spoke something completely unexpected.
"My Lord, have you come here for a bath as well?"
Huh?
Laura smiled softly.
"The water here is wonderful. It's a feast for the eyes and for the body. I'm certain it's to My Lord's liking."
Laura didn't scream like a typical girl, nor did she slap my cheeks like a scene out of a movie. She simply beamed with genuine delight.
"I had actually been meaning to tell My Lord about this place, but it seems it wasn't my hidden gem after all. I'm a little disappointed, but I'm also pleased that My Lord and I are of the same mind. Fufu."
"Uh… ah…"
What a perfect opportunity.
Up until that point, the clamorous self-aware larvae all chimed in with one voice, one mind:
'Cast Water Walk!'
It was the most effective and fitting suggestion of any that had come before. Laura felt no particular emotion about having shown me her body or about seeing mine. For some reason, regardless of the why, it was a response that felt like salvation to me.
I stammered. I tried my best to act nonchalant. As if seeing a naked body was no big deal—look or don't look, either way was fine.
"Y-yes. I just happen to feel like getting clean today."
"I knew you would! Bathing is the cleansing of the soul. When the body is clean, the mind naturally follows. Now that we've defeated the adventuring party and brought the nearby village under our control, this is the perfect time to relieve all the weariness that has built up in body and mind."
"Exactly. War is not simply a repetition of battles. One must rest when resting, and work when working."
Laura's eyes sparkled brightly.
"A hundred times over, you are right. Every word My Lord speaks is a gem worth treasuring."
"Haha. You flatter me…"
"So My Lord intends to bathe now."
"Yes, that's right."
It seemed things were going to work out as smoothly as a snake slithering over a wall. I'd gotten my eyeful, and I wouldn't have to take any responsibility—this was the best possible outcome.
Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief, words like a bolt from the blue struck me down.
"Then how about bathing together with this young lady?"
Excuse me?
Dantalion — a second-class clerk of the Kunkuska Trading Company and his dedicated assistant, Lapis Lazuli.
Her workload had grown considerably of late. First, she had been promoted to second-class clerk. Jumping straight from fourth class to second had startled everyone around her, who remarked that she had clearly embarked on the fast track to success. Inevitably, all manner of political and social overtures — congratulations, requests, and solicitations — came raining down on her.
"Thank you, but I'm not interested."
Lapis rejected every proposal without a moment's hesitation. She poured every scrap of discretion and resources she had been given into a single task: supporting Dantalion. She was convinced he would bring enormous profits to the company in the future. This was not Lapis's sole judgment — Ivar Lodbrok, the owner of the Kunkuska Trading Company, had reached the same conclusion.
The event that had captured her attention of late was, without question, the confrontation between the adventurer–militia combined force and Dantalion. Neither Laura nor Dantalion seemed to care about the incident anymore. There was no point dwelling on a battle already won.
Lapis thought differently.
*'Low-rank adventurers equipped with heavy armor — it's unbelievable.'*
If Dantalion was the schemer and Laura the strategist, Lapis was closer to an administrator. She did not understand the detailed mechanics of combat particularly well, but in everything outside the battlefield she was more competent than anyone. How to distribute rations, how to secure logistics, where to mobilize weapons and troops — and so on.
*'Chain mail. And four-ring chain mail at that. Not something commoners in the Human Realm could afford.'*
The weapons issued to the adventurers and militia had been expensive. Far too expensive, given their capabilities. According to what Lord Dantalion had told her, Rif had once plundered roughly two hundred gold from the Demon Lord's Castle. It was a considerable sum, but nowhere near enough to outfit an entire unit of over seventy men with sturdy chain mail and well-forged steel spears.
What's more, it had been uncovered that Rif had bribed the villagers to betray Dantalion. Roughly a hundred gold. Which meant Rif had at most a hundred gold left in hand. That was nowhere near enough to prepare heavy infantry.
*'Something doesn't add up.'*
Lapis suspected that the adventurer captain might have taken out a large private loan from a bank. Yet after a thorough investigation, no evidence emerged that Rif had borrowed money from anywhere. Nor did it seem likely that any powerful figure or lord had sponsored them. Her suspicion deepened. Where on earth had Rif obtained such a fortune?
*'Someone — or some faction — must have helped the adventurers. But who on earth…?'*
Lapis sat at her dedicated desk, going through paperwork. Her face, rapidly processing documents, remained utterly expressionless throughout. Her pink twin tails did not stir so much as an inch.
An employee approached her cautiously.
"Miss Lazuli."
"Speak."
Lapis replied without lifting her eyes from the documents. The implicit message was clear: anyone who interrupted her work over something trivial would pay the appropriate price. The pressure conveyed itself naturally. Among the employees, Lapis had already earned the nickname of the absolute-zero-expression boss.
"The, uh, the adventurer captain's body. The one found in the forest…"
For a more thorough investigation, Lapis had obtained several adventurer corpses from Dantalion. Not a single piece of evidence, however small, would slip past her.
"I know. Has something come up?"
"Well, um, this is really awkward, but…"
The employee hesitated.
Lapis let out a sigh and set her pen down.
"Get to the point. Keep it short."
"I-I'm sorry!"
"I'll take your apology later. What's the issue with Reap's corpse?"
The employee's face crumpled.
"There was a black sigil engraved on the human's chest. I-it wasn't a simple tattoo—it was a magical inscription."
"A magical inscription?"
Lapis tilted her head.
It dawned on her that this could very well be the critical evidence pointing to the mastermind. She fixed the employee with a cool stare.
"What kind of inscription?"
"Well… the thing is… it was the mark of Lord Belial, the sixty-eighth ranked Demon Lord…"
Lapis felt as if someone had slammed a fist into the back of her skull. An ominous chill crawled up her spine.
*'There's another Demon Lord behind whoever's been targeting Lord Dantalion!'*
============================ Author's Afterword ============================