"Ma'am. Please review this report."
Thud — the young man set the stack of documents on the desk.
Seeing the mountain of papers piled on her desk, the woman scowled. She had been engrossed in a rather entertaining manga — the protagonist, who had been toying with women to his heart's content, had somehow been turned into a woman himself and was now on the verge of being conquered by other women. It was the most heart-pounding, spine-tingling moment in the whole series, and she had just been getting to it.
The person the woman hated most in the world was someone who interrupted her reading. The second-most-hated was someone who dumped work on her. As it happened, the young man standing before her ticked both boxes. So the woman's face twisted into a scowl like one of those wrathful temple guardians, and
"'Hm? You got a death wish all of a sudden?'"
the glare she leveled at the young man was hardly unwarranted.
"Haaah..."
The blond young man heaved a heavy sigh.
"I put a lot of work into this report, you know."
"Whether I build a tower out of sheer diligence or spread it thick with shit, where does it say I'm obligated to look at it? Should I pour pink paint into that thick skull of yours? Maybe then that pale lump between your ears could actually manage a thought or two, hm?"
"Ma'am. When it comes to work, if you don't set deadlines and handle things on schedule..."
The woman snapped her manga shut.
"Ha, would you look at this little punk. Set deadlines and handle things on schedule? Did you come out of your mama's womb sending ahead a notice — 'Oh, Mother, I shall be exiting on such-and-such month, day, hour, and minute, so please hold the door open and be ready'? When the time is ripe, everything falls into place — but a punk who can't even get his junk stiff without scheduling a time, that's what you are. If you love deadlines so much, then I'll set your expiration date too, how about that? Huh? Were you so curious about when your deadline was that you spent all this time just breathing and living to find out? Does that face of yours say 'Hello, nice to meet you'? I'm personally quite curious whether you've got one ball or two — would you mind if I checked for myself? Hm?"
The young man thought to himself.
She's terrifying.
The woman was beautiful. Her jet-black straight hair made it abundantly clear that it was not merely hair but rather the hallmark of a truly distinguished lady who expected to be served accordingly. She was wearing a gray hoodie that was thoroughly inappropriate for the workplace, yet even that, draped over her body, made a queen's dress look plain by comparison. Having such a beauty wield insults like "brat" and "balls" with such effortless fluency was something one could never quite get used to.
Today, I am NOT backing down!
The young man swallowed hard. With a personality like that, it was no wonder he had been pushed out of central and demoted all the way to this backwater despite being genuinely skilled.
Normally, he would have apologized for disturbing her reading and hastily withdrawn by now. But today, he wanted to see this through.
"Ma'am! Then when exactly are you going to review the report?"
"I don't know either. Did your mother know when you'd be born so she could pop you out? You ungrateful brat. Let me read my book first and then I'll think about it, so zip your lip and go sit in that corner over there."
"Yesterday you said you'd read your book and think about it, the day before that you said you'd read your book and think about it, and the day before THAT you said you'd read your book and think about it! When are you ever going to finish reading those damn books!"
The woman answered coolly.
"Until the day the manga I want to read disappear."
"No, new manga come out every month, every year……."
"Then I'll just keep reading until manga artists disappear from the world."
"Do you even have any intention of working!?"
"I don't. So don't try to give me any work."
He was certain. His boss was trash beyond imagination. If you threw her into the waters off Incheon, the sea would gag and spit her back out, no question. If you hurled her into space, the entire galaxy from Earth to Andromeda would flee in horror, asking what kind of garbage this was, abandoning only Earth behind……
Realizing this anew, the young man felt his heart breaking. There had been a time when he'd felt pride in having a woman as his boss. But now, all that remained was resignation and disappointment. If he hadn't been prepared to sacrifice himself for the sake of Earth's and the universe's environment, he'd have long since hanged himself on a utility pole. But why did it have to be him making the sacrifice?…… The young man had asked himself this thousands upon thousands of times, but never found an answer. One thing was certain, though. Whether it was God's joke or fate, he was the only one who would slap this rotten boss's backside into shape.
The young man snatched the manga lying face-down on the desk. The woman opened her mouth with an "oh."
"Until you've read the report, the manga are confiscated!"
"……."
The woman stared the young man down with a piercing gaze. The young man didn't avert his eyes either, holding the manga up in the air without moving.
A long time passed.
"Fine."
The woman said.
"I'll review it."
"R-Really?!"
The young man's eyes went wide, unable to believe the success he'd achieved. At the same time, he was moved. They say sincerity moves heaven, don't they? Even a woman who was human trash, a foul-mouthed slacker, a salary thief, and a shut-in recluse — in the end, there was no tree that couldn't be toppled with ten, no, a hundred strikes.
"Thank you, Director! I always knew that someday you'd recognize my sincerity..."
"If there's nothing of substance in here, you're dead. For real."
"......"
The problem was that once the tree started to fall, it looked like it might flatten the woodcutter underneath.
The woman straightened her posture. She planted her hips firmly against the chair and sat up ramrod straight. Tilting her chin back slightly, she lifted the documents with both hands and began flipping through them one page at a time.
At first, it took less than five seconds to turn a single page. But as she progressed, the speed slowed, and by the middle of the document, she was spending well over five minutes on a single page. The young man stood at the front of the desk, ready to answer immediately should the woman ask a question.
Thirty minutes passed.
"......Hmm."
The woman lifted her gaze from the last page. She looked up at the young man with half-lidded eyes.
"Must be nice having your lifespan extended."
"Thank you."
"To think you'd achieve this much by exploiting the Acting skill."
The woman tossed the stack of documents onto the desk. Then she leaned back in her chair at a nearly flat angle, practically lying down. She kept staring at the white, featureless ceiling as though something interesting were stuck to it. The young man understood that this meant she was deep in thought.
"When did you start observing?"
"Since the tutorial. From the very beginning, this player has been using her own traits in a remarkably efficient manner."
"I thought she'd died ages ago."
The woman fell silent. After a brief pause,
"Then again, she's always had a silver tongue."
she said, then sealed her lips once more. The young man waited quietly. But as the woman continued to do nothing but stare at the ceiling for over twenty minutes, he grew restless.
He said.
"There's definitely a possibility. This player is qualified enough to be registered in the upper ranks. That would directly translate into results for our branch."
"……."
"Even if it was done in the heat of the moment, it's not like we shouldn't provide aftercare, right? No—if anything, we should be even more considerate. Just say the word. I'll inform the player of whatever information they need. I guarantee I can keep their points from dropping."
"No."
The woman shook her head.
"Department Head!"
"Don't misread the situation. I did read your report with interest."
"Huh? Then why……."
She shot a sidelong glance at the young man.
"Don't give them any information. Not even the bare minimum. The mere fact that we make contact with a player costs points. From now on, I'm prohibiting any action that would reduce this player's points. Don't intervene at all. Leave them alone."
"Y-Yes?"
"The difficulty is set to Rampage mode right now. Hm. Is there any way to crank it up even higher?"
The woman rested her chin on her hand, about to sink into thought, when the young man blurted out in a panic.
"Wait, Department Head. I don't really understand. Why can't we even give them the bare minimum of information?"
"Can't you listen? The moment we make contact to provide information, 10 points are deducted."
"……It's only 10 points."
"Oh, you absolute buffoon."
She let out a sigh.
"Do you have any idea what the score gap was between the all-time number-one player and the number-two player? 132 points. A mere 132 points. If we start intervening to give them even the bare minimum of information, 100 points will vanish in no time."
"But these are the real top-tier players, aren't they? Besides, in the upper echelons, 100 points or even 1,000 points aren't that big a deal compared to the ten-thousand-point range..."
The young man was speaking when something seemed to dawn on him. He sucked in a sharp breath.
"Y-you don't mean to tell me you think this player belongs in the top hundred?"
"Are you out of your mind?"
The woman smiled.
"If they play their cards right, they'll break into the top ten. That's your problem, Batting. You write up the whole report yourself but can't even tell what level a player actually operates at."
"T-ten percent!?"
The woman stood up and gently poked the young man's cheek.
"Your thinking is painfully obvious. Hey, did you figure out why this one didn't punish Paimon?"
"Well... wasn't it because Paimon looked so pathetic that sympathy kicked in?"
"What? Sympathy?"
The woman's eyes went wide, and then she doubled over in laughter. She shook with it so hard she nearly fell off her chair.
"Ahahaha! Sympathy! Ahaha, of all things, sympathy of all things!"
She went on laughing for a good while.
The young man's face flushed red at the insult. Slightly incensed, he shot back:
"Fine, then what is it?"
"Oh, you poor fool — even the Buddha himself couldn't save a soul this hopeless. Can't tell a sickle from the letter 'g,' and you're the living proof. Hey, what does this one stand to gain by crushing Paimon? Pride? A monetary payout? There's something far more valuable sitting right beside them — the backing of a high-ranking Demon Lord. Sure, in the moment it feels good to flex your pride and pocket the compensation. But what high-ranking Demon Lord is going to look kindly on a lower Demon Lord who made one of their own eat humble pie? If they avoid getting ostracized among the other Demon Lords, they'll count themselves lucky."
"So it was all a calculated move?"
"Obviously."
The young man wore an expression that said he wasn't entirely convinced.
"I don't think every player is that calculating. Just look at Jack Orland. He could have killed him, but he didn't."
"Speak properly. He didn't kill him because the guy was such a negligible insect that it didn't matter either way — whether he killed him or not."
The woman's smile deepened.
"Don't judge humans by their appearances. Just because someone doesn't kill, does that guarantee they're kind? Just because someone kills, does that guarantee they're evil? It's psychology. Read the psychology of humans in its deepest sense."
"But look — after Jack died, the player was clearly sad about it!"
"If you died, I'd be sad too."
The young man tilted his head. A moment later, he realized she had indirectly expressed that she cared about him, and his face flushed red.
"E-eh?"
"But if killing is necessary, then kill. Without a shred of hesitation."
She smiled.
"......"
"People's personalities are multifaceted. Even when something seems irrational on the surface, it's complete within that person. Everyone is like that. Ahu, it's been a while since I smiled. Pity? Kuh-huh-huh. Listening to a fly fart about being tough."
The woman looked up at the ceiling once more.
"That's what makes humans interesting. Most of the time they're mind-numbingly boring, but every so often they show possibilities you'd never expect. And that's what makes me want to place my bets. I figured this one had some nerve, challenging the system of Dungeon Attack like that, but he's more than I expected... Hey, crank up every difficulty setting that can be cranked up."
"Um, Director? It's already on Lunatic mode."
"This one can handle it."
She declared it with certainty.
"My eyes don't lie. This one's the real deal."
"Then the probability of hostile encounters goes up, and way too many events will trigger. Well, the Affinity with characters he's already met shouldn't change, but still..."
"If I say dig, you dig. Stop your yapping. You want me to let you take a shower in the River Styx?"
Sigh. Fine, I understand."
The young man returned to his position and began tapping at the computer keyboard. To raise the difficulty.
Inwardly, he apologized to the player. Sorry — I thought you were likeable enough that I might lighten your burden a little, but instead I ended up piling more on. It was out of my hands, though. Please forgive me…
The young man finished his work and looked up. The woman had her feet propped up on the desk and was engrossed in a comic book in the most comfortable posture imaginable. Thinking that he was the only one around here actually working hard, the young man raised his voice.
"Comics again? Come on, stop reading those already."
"I read comics when I'm bored."
"But Chief, you read nothing but comics every single day, all the time!"
"I know, right?"
After that, the woman didn't add another word.
She merely raised the corners of her mouth ever so slightly.